Good News And Not So Good News

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Taffy, Aug 16, 2007.

  1. Taffy

    Taffy Registered User

    Apr 15, 2007
    1,314
    Hi Everyone,

    RE: Post on cataract surgery. Mum seen a local eye specialist yesterday and the tumour appears to be similar in width and size as last measured. He said it was very suspicious looking and would continue to monitor her, if, the tumour changes in anyway, then she will need to return to the last treating specialist for treatment. The cataracts will be left untouched the specialist was so good with mum extremely patient and very accommodating as far as the dementia went. Mum was on her best behaviour almost, there was only one incident in the waiting room where she was telling a little tale of woe, unfortunately, for all to hear. Mum was telling me about a lady that sat at her dining table at the home, and, it was like a play I think all present were at first intrigued until the ending. We all heard about the seating positions the food and how one lady beside mum had to call the attended to let her know the other lady was a filthy gluten, oh it gets better, mum then had to ask the attendant to put this lady outside in the pig's sty because she had no manners then continued to say how lucky they were to have pig sty's out in the garden. I'm sure you could have heard a pin drop. Anyway, the not so good news. Dad had another heart attack he had been in hospital five days and was been transferred further down south for a angiogram, so I decided after mum had seen the specialist we would call by the hospital to see him before he went. Mum took a fall in the car park of the hospital a kind hospital worker took mum in her car up to A&E. Mum, as expected was quite traumatised very confused and just wanted to go home after sitting in a wheelchair for 1 &1/2hrs she was taken in and put on a bed, mum had landed heavily on her shoulder and thigh the doctor came to her 3 & 1/2 hrs later they managed to get her walking, no x rays were ordered and they thought because of her agitated state she would be better to go back to the home.When we left A&E mum and I waited for my hubby to bring the car up to the entrance she asked me where we were and had no memory at all of been inside the hospital ( just as well) mum is deteriorating so quickly at times I think her paranoia is the only thing enabling her memory. To-day mum is walking OK her hip is ab- it sore. Her shoulder, well she can't remember if she knocked it or someone thumped her.:eek: but, it's very sore. The hospital requested that the homes GP checks mum tomorrow. Dad's results were not that great his heart valve is very calcified and his kidneys are failing he refuses residential care, so he will be coming home. There is a long list of Doe's and dont's, somehow, I guess we will have to manage. His reasoning ability has taken a hammering and his short term memory is very poor but, at least I know now that I can get outside help and I will, if need be, I'm not shouldering all the burden this time round. Thanks for listening. Taffy.
     
  2. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Hi Taffy, definitely good news and bad news.

    I loved your mum's story, I'm not surprised everyone was agog!:D

    Bad news though about your dad's heart attack, you must be very worried about him. Also the fact that they are both deteriorating at present.

    I'm glad you've got support, take all the help you can get.

    Let us know how you get on.

    Love,
     
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,652
    Kent
    Dear Taffy, what a catalogue of upsets, you really do have your hands full.

    I love the tale your mother told, from so much sadness, it`s amazing how possible it is to squeeze out a little bit of humour.

    I`m so please you have accepted there`s only so much responsibility you can take, and wish you luck in all the decisions you have to make in the future.

    You are always so supportive of others on TP, it`s time you had a bit of support for yourself.

    Take care

    love xx
     
  4. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    - this is at least good news!

    I am glad you have posted to get the news off your chest. You are having a bad time but as you say others are now giving support. I liked the bit about the pig sty.

    Take care Beckyjan
     
  5. Nell

    Nell Registered User

    Aug 9, 2005
    1,170
    Australia
    Dear Taffy,
    What a lot of things to cope with all at once - poor you. I am sorry to hear about your Dad. Am very glad to hear that you will accept help and not try to do everything on your own. You are amazing in the way you care for both your parents but you cannot give up your life entirely for them.

    I LOVE the story about the pig-sty - and I can't help getting a mental picture of the attendant bundling the "filthy glutton" out the door and into the sty!! :D

    Your poor Mum does sound sore and sorry though, so I do hope she gets over the fall soon. It is not good news about the cataracts, but at least the tumour hasn't changed for the worse.

    Thinking of you and sending you my very best wishes.
     
  6. Taffy

    Taffy Registered User

    Apr 15, 2007
    1,314
    Dear Hazel Sylvia & Beckyjan,
    Thank you all for your replies. Dad came home at lunch time he declined the offer of respite he is quite weak and confused. Maybe, after a few days and a good rest he will feel better. He told the hospital that I had organized in home help but the social worker at the hospital was going to do all that. Dad See's his GP on Tuesday so now he'll have to arrange help. I think dad doesn't want anyone coming in, he thinks I should do everything. Mum is a real shocker, but, quite funny and you can't help but laugh at times. Today I went again and checked on mum she has a large dark bruise on her thigh and her shoulder is slightly bruised both are quite sore. Tomorrow I'll buy some hirudoid cream and take it over to the home so they can keep rubbing it on her, it will ease the pain. Regards Taffy.
     
  7. Taffy

    Taffy Registered User

    Apr 15, 2007
    1,314
    Dear Nell,
    Thank you for your support. Things are not the best at the moment dad is a worry, but, I just have to take one day at a time. I'll keep you posted. Mum, what can I say my daughter thinks she is priceless, maybe, mum missed her calling in life and should have been a story teller. After the shock factor most see the funny side of what she says. Take care. Taffy.
     
  8. Lotti

    Lotti Registered User

    Jul 31, 2007
    52
    Hi Taffy,

    This is only my second post but after reading yours had to reply. I can quite imagine your episode in the waiting room. Mum is going through the same thing with cataracts as well as AD, and dad has had two previous heart attacks and has now got to see a kidney specialist, but going back to the waiting room when I took mum for her pre op assessment a girl was sat in a wheelchair with one leg stretched out (broken bone) and the other tucked underneath the wheelchair, mum said 'Has that girl only got one leg?' to which I replied 'No' the young girl heard her but just smiled then mum said it again 'Did you hear me, has that girl only got one leg?' so I smiled at the girl who smiled back, mum said 'it's no laughing matter !' the girl smiled again and brought the leg out from underneath the chair - 'oh no said mum it's there' all the other people waiting were just looking so I know how embarrassed you must have felt.

    I have somehow to get mum to the hospital 10 miles away for 7.30 am goodness knows how !! she like many others on TP thinks there is nothing wrong with her, suffers mood swings, wanders etc
     
  9. Taffy

    Taffy Registered User

    Apr 15, 2007
    1,314
    Hi Lottie and welcome to TP,
    Thank you for your reply. I hope that your mum's operation goes well and stress free. Also, hope that your dad's visit to the specialist goes well. From reading your other post things are very difficult for you. I am also like a only child as my sister lives in England and is very poorly and unable to travel, she would dearly love to visit dad & mum. My brother lives interstate. But, unlike you my family have grown up and have their own families now. I am sorry that you have to cope with all this alone.


    :eek: This is indeed going to be difficult for you. I do hope that you manage OK. Maybe, there is help available for you. I know it is hard when the sufferer thinks that there is nothing wrong with them. GOOD LUCK and fingers crossed everything goes well. Take Care. Taffy.
     
  10. Lotti

    Lotti Registered User

    Jul 31, 2007
    52
    Thanks Taffy for the vote of confidence, op should have been the day before we went away but I have cancelled it until we come back so should be sometime in September.
    Regards Lotti
     
  11. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london

    that is so true .

    just wondering have you sorted it all out anyway .

    as you said
    please to read that xx
     
  12. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,652
    Kent
    Hi Lotti, welcome to TP.

    Just a thought, if you have to get your mother to the hospital for 7.30 a.m., I presume it`s for surgery. Couldn`t she be admitted the evening before?
    I would hate to have to get my husband up and dressed by that time, never mind 10 miles away.
    Whenever I am offered an early appointment, i always explain the situation and ask for a later one.

    Love xx
     
  13. DeborahBlythe

    DeborahBlythe Registered User

    Dec 1, 2006
    9,222
    Hello Taffy, your post about your mum's story made me laugh. Thank you for sharing that. How are things going now?
     
  14. Lotti

    Lotti Registered User

    Jul 31, 2007
    52
    Hello Deborah,

    I don't know if replying on this thread is right as it was started by Taffy but as I am new to this I'm sure I'll find my way.

    To answer your question, things are up and down sometimes getting dad to grasp the reality of mums AD is hard mum knows she is having problems with her eyes but when cataracts are mentioned she says 'oh, I don't know about that' so I don't mention it any more.

    I have been going down every day around tea time to try and give her a little stimulation and to avoid the wandering (leaving my husband with my son) but have to admit I think dad takes it for granted sometimes, but then again he is not well himself so I feel guilty leaving him to shoulder it all.

    Oh well, I suppose I am not alone which does make it clearer for me to deal with.

    Thank you for asking
    Regards
    Lotti
     
  15. Lotti

    Lotti Registered User

    Jul 31, 2007
    52
     
  16. Taffy

    Taffy Registered User

    Apr 15, 2007
    1,314
    Hi Margarita,
    Thanks for your reply. Nothing has been sorted out as yet, dad is now reluctant to have any extra help, he thinks he doesn't need any. But I think the truth of the matter is that he is unable at present to process new information. The specialist said dad needs two weeks to convalesce. Take Care. Taffy.
     
  17. Taffy

    Taffy Registered User

    Apr 15, 2007
    1,314
    Dear Deborah,
    Thanks for your reply. Dad is home now, he is still quite confused I think that he will improve he needs time to get over is ordeal. Poor mum is in a lot of pain with her shoulder and I am very upset because I found out on Saturday that no pain relief was every written up for her. No pain relief what so ever. The fall happened on Wednesday afternoon. As the care attendants can't give anything that is not written up and no Rn's are on duty on the weekends, mum would have had to wait till Monday. Between my daughter and myself we have been going and giving her panadol. To-day, I took mum to her old GP's surgery they are open on Sunday and luck had it her GP was rostered on, he has ordered a xray of her chest, hip, and shoulder. Hopefully, this will be done tomorrow, he also thinks mum may have a UTI, unfortunately, she was unable to give a sample. Tomorrow I want some answers from the home, this is disgraceful. The hospital should have done xrays and checked for UTI also. Thanks for the support. Taffy.
     
  18. DeborahBlythe

    DeborahBlythe Registered User

    Dec 1, 2006
    9,222
    Hello Taffy, so sorry things are not going too well. I must admit I was wondering why the hospital didn't give your mum an X-ray whilst she was there, rather than send her out again. It may be that they thought even if there was a fracture, they assumed nothing practical could be done. I don't know. Just a thought. How amazing that the GP's surgery was open on a Sunday! That's a luxury I don't recall happening anywhere in the UK! ( Don't mind being corrected, if I'm wrong!)
    Do hope the Panadols helped and that the home gives lots of fluids in case there is a UTI. Take care of yourself. Best wishes, Deborah.
     
  19. DeborahBlythe

    DeborahBlythe Registered User

    Dec 1, 2006
    9,222
    Lotti, you seem to be taking a good deal on your shoulders. I hope you have got some support from the usual quarters, Social Services etc? Visiting on a daily basis you should certainly ask for a carer's assessment for yourself, even if your dad resists such a process for HIMself. Do take care of yourself, best wishes, Deborah
     
  20. Nell

    Nell Registered User

    Aug 9, 2005
    1,170
    Australia
    Dear Taffy,

    I was so sorry to hear about the poor treatment your dear Mum was getting. I quite agree that it is NOT good enough, by any standards. I hope the home can give you some answers and they better be GOOD ones!!

    Just to let you know that we had a similar problem with the home Mum is in when Dad was alive - to do with him being given Warfarin and it not being monitored. We met with the RN, the Manager and the Welfare Officer and were very clear about our concerns!! ;)

    They were a bit defensive but we did notice improvements after that. I hope you get a good response about your Mum. Thinking of you and sending you extra special good wishes today!!
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.