George & Margarets Journey with Alzheimer's

[Dazmum]

I'm sorry that you were so sad in the early hours Margaret, it's a difficult time when worries can seem overwhelming. What yours and other posts are bringing home to me, is how different and to me, much more difficult it is having a husband, wife or partner with this dreadful disease. It breaks my heart that my mum has it, but for a life partner it must seem as though part of you is missing and the sadness greater. I'm glad that you are able to talk to others who know just how you feel, I hope it helps.

Gringo, I'm able to bring mum home here because she doesn't remember this as her home, even though it was for eight years, so she sees it as a treat and herself as a visitor. Because of that I don't have any problems - so far- about taking her back to her care home. She is also quite mobile and can tell me if she needs the toilet. I'm making the most of the time that I can do this, and we enjoy each others company. If she was distressed at all at the idea if going back, I wouldn't do it.

 

[Margaret938]

Hello all
I have been out in the garden cutting the grass edges and trying to clear my head of sadness in readiness for visiting George. I have got rid of the tears for the time being.
I will go and get ready now, put my happy face on.
I am sending you all a flower from my garden "with Love"
Love you all loads,
Margaret x

 

[Jilly1]

My heart goes out to you Margaret! I had a lousy day yesterday. Could not stop crying. I am nowhere near the stage of this awful journey where you are and I despair of how I will be then.
Where can I view your photo's?

 

[gringo]

Margaret,
Many thanks. Well done you. I wish I could summon up the courage to copy you. I have been warned, by the CH. staff that it could go very wrong. One day perhaps. There’s never any gain without pain. Seeing your husband in the house must bring back memories of happier days which will be difficult to handle.I empathise with you completely ( tears and all! ).The realisation that you are effectively on your own strikes at you when you least expect it and it can be crippling. You are quite right, only people, on here, understand what this disease does to both the sufferer and the carer.
Thank-you for sharing with us. I send you thoughts of peace and understanding, you will get through to-day and will pick up again to-morrow, no matter what.

Dazmum,
It really is heartening to read such good news. One day I hope I will be able to follow your’s and Margaret’s example.

 

[Margaret938]

My heart goes out to you Margaret! I had a lousy day yesterday. Could not stop crying. I am nowhere near the stage of this awful journey where you are and I despair of how I will be then.
Where can I view your photo's?

Hello Jilly,
As you know crying is what I do best. Our photographs can be found in Tea Room, under My photographs of George

 

[Margaret938]

Hello All my dear friends,
I managed my visit today with no tears, I didn't even cry when I was walking home.
Today was both good and bad. George was a bit spaced out, sort of distant. I did all the usual things and he let me without any complaints, I shaved him, massaged his ankles etc and then after his tea and cake ( chocolate cake) we went out to the summer house and sat in it with our feet up, I switched on the water fountain and it was all very relaxing. I could not get any response to my conversation so in the end we just sat and enjoyed the peace, he sat for longer than I though he would, without wanting to wander off. I then went upstairs with him to hang up a string of colourful hand sewn indian elephants, we bought them a few years ago and he enjoyed them hanging in the house. I like to make his room a home from home. He started looking through a photo album I had in his drawer, it is scenes from our holidays and I have written on them all where we are. He was really enjoying looking at them, I read him some poetry and after I read The West Wind, by John Masefield, he gave me the thumbs up. I loved that. I managed to slip away while he was getting settled for his tea, I don't think he was too pleased but I made a quick get away. I left him with his holiday photos, so I am hoping that one of the girls will sit with him an look at them after tea.
Sorry for the long story again, I will maybe go out to the garden again for a wee while to get my mind of things and hopefully keep the tears away tonight.
All my love to you all
Margaret xx

 

[Izzy]

That sound like a lovely visit Matgaret. x

 

[garnuft]

Dear Margaret,

the flower is beautiful and such a delicate colour.

I'm so glad you had a nice visit today and managed to chase the tears away.
I hope your heart feels comfortable enough to keep them at bay this evening too,
and I hope you get a good nights sleep.

Gwen xxx

 

[johnpatcarl]

Hi margaret this is a wonderful thread for you i did something similar a few years ago and since my wife has died i occaisionaly look back and retread the past through the thread some good memories some not so good but they remain there for you to take comfort from, it is a terrible journey you are on i talk from experience and whatever comfort you can get from it along the way will be needed there are some wonderful people on this site and you will as you have probably already experienced get lots of support sometimes a virtual hug can be as good as the real thing take care i wish you all the luck in the world john ps my thread was called "margarets story"

 

[Margaret938]

I was well pleased today, George was near the door when I arrived and he greeted me with open arms with a lovely smile on his face, and a ready cuddle and kiss. Much brighter today, plenty of eye contact and aware of everything around him. I gave him the works today, Manicure, Pedicure, Massage, Hair Cut and Wet shave. I then lined all the drawers in his room, while he lay on his bed and relaxed. Not a bit of aggression shown today, It was wonderful, I might even be able to sleep better tonight !!! Our son and the baby went up to see him in the morning, and my son has just been on the phone saying Dad was good this morning. Here's hoping it continues throughout the night.
Thank you for your kind words, Johnpatcarl, I have started reading Margaret's story, will get back to you when I read it all.
All my love to all
Margaret xx

 

[Saffie]

It is so cheering to read of your lovely visits Margaret.
You must be so pleased. xxx

 

[Margaret938]

Hello All
I had a most wonderful afternoon, I decided to take George to watch our local Pipe Band who were playing in our Town Centre Gardens called The Wellmeadow. We got a taxi to the Wellmeadow grabbed a seat and enjoyed the band, ( I used to play the tenor drum in the band along with our son George, many years ago, I will send a photo if I can find it !). After the band left, we went for ice cream, George did very well walking to and from the ice cream shop, we went back and had another seat before getting a taxi back to the CH. The only problem George has is getting in and out of the taxi, he is not at all steady on his feet when sitting down and getting up. Otherwise he did very well, we both had such a lovely time, it was just like old times, sitting watching the band and having ice cream, when we used to go to the summer evening band outings we used to always have a bag of chips to eat outside, the best way to eat chips I think.
We got back in plenty of time for his tea, and I left him quite settled and awaiting his
meal, which looked and smelled so good, I would have like to join him !!!!
I am feeling very happy tonight, of course who knows what tomorrow will be like. I will worry about that when tomorrow comes.
Take care,
Love Margaret xx
ps I have put some photos on Tea Room

 

[Izzy]

That's brilliant Margaret. I read your Tea Room post first so sorry - I asked I'd that was the Wellmeadow and I you played the pipes. I have my answers here!!

I love the pipes and drums - so does Bill X

 

[Margaret938]

Hello All,
Well I guess all the good days I had with George during last week and the super day yesterday, it had to come..... Today he was a bit distant, swore a lot !! not really at me, just swearing in general. He was not aggressive, except that he didn't want me to help him go to the toilet, I suppose sometimes he feels that it is an invasion of his privacy. I left him at tea time in not too good a mood, I am hoping the girls managed to bring him round.
Love Margaret x

 

[LYN T]

Hi Margaret

Loved those pictures. Sorry your day wasn't as happy as yesterday-I'm sure it will turn round tomorrow. My visits are also up and down (I think it's the nature of the Dementia ). For instance yesterday P recognised me (not as his wife of course) today you would have thought he'd never seen me before.

Keep your chin up Margaret.

Love from Lyn T

 

[Margaret938]

Hello Lyn,
Thank you Lyn, I am hoping for a better day tomorrow.
I am sorry you have had much the same experience as me today. I suppose we will just have to be very grateful for good days.
Glad you liked the photos.
Keep your chin up too, Lyn
All my love,
Margaret xx

 

[Izzy]

I'm sorry today wasn't so good Margaret. I'm glad you have these good days you've had to hold on to. As they say - one day at a time. x

 

[Margaret938]

This journey is certainly so full of ups and downs. After my unhappy visit yesterday, today was so nice, every cloud does certainly have a silver lining. George was a very happy chappy, he looked into my eyes and smiled, told me he loved me more than once. He sat quite happily in the lounge all afternoon, and joined in the game organised by the carer, we all got cards with the name of a singer, we had to name the hit songs they sang and then join in singing the song, the carer was an excellent singer and we all joined in. What a happy crowd in the lounge. George sang along to all the songs. My cup certainly overflowed today, lets hope tomorrow is as good.
Take care,
Love Margaret xx
It was nice also that two of his friends who worked in the garage with him when they were all apprentices, went up to see him this morning.

 

[Margaret938]

Thought I might share with you a couple of photos of the A4 folders I have made up for George one entitled,
"All about George" and the other "My Life"
I have chosen photos all through his life and written captions with them, so that the carers can talk to him about his family, his workmates, and his life in general. I have also written a few pages called "The Life and Loves of George and Margaret". which they can read over to him. He also has two small 7 x 5 photo albums with two photos from all of our holidays with names and places, and he really enjoys looking at them. I am sure that many of you have done the same thing. I would love you to pass on your ideas to me about anything else I can do to help him.
Love Margaret xx
Apologies for the quality of the photos I copied it from my Documents, and they didn't come out so well.

 

[Saffie]

Lovely photos Margaret. I've done a similar memory book in that fassion for Dave. Sadly, he hardly looks at it now and the carers seem too busy to sit and go through it with him. It took ages to do too.I hope George is still able to enjoy his book. x