Forward Ho!

[LadyA]

I saw the surgeon today, and got the date for my surgery. November 6th - which is rapidly approaching, isn't it?! Wish it was over, and I was all recovered! I've never been in hospital. Never had anaesthetic. I have to admit, I'm terrified of that bit - all those horror stories of people not being quite "under", and feeling everything!!

The surgeon told me to start taking a good multivitamin & iron supplement to boost me now, as I will loose quite a bit of blood during the surgery - although she said it's rare to lose enough to need a transplant (I had asked, because my sister had the same surgery, and they had taken blood from her in the weeks before to have on hand in case she needed it. My surgeon said they don't do that here because it adds an awful lot to the costs and over 90% of people don't need it).

So, this afternoon I decluttered and cleaned one kitchen cupboard. Just one. That will tell you how bad my kitchen cupboards are! And in case you need a further hint: I kept my baking "sprinkles" in there - for decorating cakes etc. Haven't been able to do any of that since William got bad. I threw out several containers of sprinkles because their "Best Before" dates were 2009! I don't adhere strictly to "best before" dates - but I thought five years might be pushing it just a tad! Cleaning and decluttering that one cupboard has given me another cupboard with two whole shelves free!

 

[truth24]

You really are keeping yourself busy. Glad you have date for op. How long do you have to stay in hospital for? It will soon come round.

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[LadyA]

You really are keeping yourself busy. Glad you have date for op. How long do you have to stay in hospital for? It will soon come round.

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Surgeon said it depends on two things: Firstly, how late in the day she operates on me, and secondly, how well I recover and how weak I am. If she can get to me fairly early (the op itself takes between 3 and 4 hours), and if I recover well, I can go home next day. But if I am feeling weak (because she said I will lose quite a bit of blood), then I will stay a second night, particularly as I live alone.

 

[truth24]

Will be thinking of you.

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[LadyA]

Am going nuts! It's official. It would be exactly one month tomorrow since the day, for the first time in my life, I locked the keys in the car and had to call the Breakdown Assistance people.

Would you believe it - today I did the same thing???!!!! Fortunately, today (a) I was meeting dau for coffee and (b) this time, the spare key was not also in the car, but at home - so she drove me home to get it. Wasted a lot of time though! I just couldn't believe I had done it again! I spoke to my best friend, who happens to be a Counsellor (a Grief Counsellor, actually - but still!), and she said it's not at all surprising that I'm doing absent-minded things like that, because I am going through a grieving process, and my mind is occupied, so to a large extent, I'm functioning on autopilot. And she said that when she was going through it, she actually lost her car! Went to go home from town, and had not got the faintest idea where she had parked! She had to phone her husband, and he came and they searched the town for it!

 

[truth24]

It's strange the effect stress has on us. Have found myself far more absent minded since I've been on my own and can only think it's because there is nothing to focus on now. Hopefully a purpose in life will return soon!

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[WIFE]

You've got a lot on your mind LadyA - not surprising you did strange things with your carkeys. Thinking of you and do hope the op is not too traumatic.

 

[LadyA]

It's strange the effect stress has on us. Have found myself far more absent minded since I've been on my own and can only think it's because there is nothing to focus on now. Hopefully a purpose in life will return soon!

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I think it's the removal of the immediate stresses - the fear, the constancy of trying to take care of William when he was so resistant, and being on high alert all the time. I'm sure you know what that was like - we were runnng on adrenaline all the time. I think it just takes time to readjust. And the fact that there is so much to be done - even though I know there is no time limit on doing it - is making me absent minded because I keep going over it! I think once I actually get all the books & junk out of the way, that will help a lot. Dealing with getting rid of that lot is the biggest job and makes the place so untidy, which is doing my head in!

 

[truth24]

Life is strange. When Fred was at home it was so stressful. Well, you know that, we have all been in the same boat. Now that the immediate cause of the stress is no longer there (sounds horrible but you know what I mean) there seems to be a different kind of stress. Worry about him and how he is being cared for (well, I think), how will I manage financially, particularly when household repairs are necessary, the guilt monster and, most of all, what is my purpose in life now? The latter may be due to my age, 74, and hopefully will change when I start my new voluntary role. Luckily I have some very good friends who have started including me in their lives again after a long time of me not being able to leave him and I am very grateful for them but the 'aloneness' never leaves me. I know I am fortunate that he is still with us, that occasionally we have lovely visits and that it must be very much worse for those who have already lost their loved ones, so am grateful for that too. Sorry, please ignore rant - it's probable the result of a miserable Saturday morning after our lovely Indian summer. Will get to stripping the bathroom and cheer myself up. Good luck with your bookclearing!

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[Jinx]

Life is strange. When Fred was at home it was so stressful. Well, you know that, we have all been in the same boat. Now that the immediate cause of the stress is no longer there (sounds horrible but you know what I mean) there seems to be a different kind of stress. Worry about him and how he is being cared for (well, I think), how will I manage financially, particularly when household repairs are necessary, the guilt monster and, most of all, what is my purpose in life now? The latter may be due to my age, 74, and hopefully will change when I start my new voluntary role. Luckily I have some very good friends who have started including me in their lives again after a long time of me not being able to leave him and I am very grateful for them but the 'aloneness' never leaves me. I know I am fortunate that he is still with us, that occasionally we have lovely visits and that it must be very much worse for those who have already lost their loved ones, so am grateful for that too. Sorry, please ignore rant - it's probable the result of a miserable Saturday morning after our lovely Indian summer. Will get to stripping the bathroom and cheer myself up. Good luck with your bookclearing!

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[LadyA]

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Yes Jinx?
I am totally wiped out! This morning, there was a free electrical recycling collection at Tesco carpark, so I took some broken electricals in there, went to visit William, who was happy as a clam, came home again and have been clearing shelves and lugging books to boxes in the attic ever since! 7 whacking packing crates there are up there now. Seriously! And five big boxes gone to a friend's bookshop, 2 boxes gone to another friend, and I think 4 big boxes already gone to charity shops and several more to go -and then several bags of books to go for recycling. I think accumulating anything on that scale has to be classed as a form of insanity! And before he moved here, he donated most of his books to form a library of some sort - he gave them over 10,000 books! Can you imagine?? Something seriously wrong there, to think that he had managed to accumulate so many again! Years ago, William was trying to bully me into making a solemn promise that when he died, I would never get rid of any of his books! That I would keep them all, as they were, on the shelves, and keep his "office" just as it was! Why would that be such a big deal to someone, to be worrying about these things after they are gone? Anyway, I'm glad I stood my ground and never promised - I'd feel awful if I had, but I wouldn't be able to keep such a promise and go on living in such a tip!

 

[cragmaid]

Just a thought..you have shaken all of these books before packing/recycling them? OH's uncle hid many thousands of £s in his books, freezer and cupboards to hide them from the tax man.

 

[LadyA]

Just a thought..you have shaken all of these books before packing/recycling them? OH's uncle hid many thousands of £s in his books, freezer and cupboards to hide them from the tax man.

Oh, I wish!! Yes, quick flip through - because William had a habit of writing notes and shoving them in books. And pasting his name, address and phone number in! Which has been a pain to get off!

 

[Scarlett123]

I've done some forward ho-ing over the past few weeks, but cannot bring myself to do mammoth clearing of John's things - they tend to be sorted in dribs and drabs. But I have made sterling efforts in his workshop.

For some bizarre reason - perhaps it's a man thing? - John had a terrible difficulty in parting with broken tools. Some years ago, when his memory was proving a real problem, I packed over 200 tools into cardboard boxes, and labelled them "screwdrivers", "spanners" etc.

But even those that were rusty, broken, or missing bits, had to go into a "miscellaneous" box. I happily dumped about 30 things. Some of them are unrecognisable, but if I don't know what they're for, I can't see the point in keeping them.

Then I cleared 2 large beds in the garden, that were chocked with honeysuckle, that hadn't been cut back for years, prickly nasties, weeds, tangled ivy etc, and filled 3 empty dustbins. I took these to the Borough's dump, where fit young men emptied them for me, then went back, refilled them, and disposed of these.

It's so satisfying. I also bought some more artificial flowers that I have arranged in planters, and now have 6 of these. They cost no more than the real thing, and need no maintenance. They cover an empty, and hard to access space, and look great.

 

[truth24]

Sounds great. Everyone is so busy. Haven't started bathroom yet as have had a lovely day tidying up the garden. Will plant up pots tomorrow, weather permitting. Will have to do bathroom soon or flooring quote won't be valid. Onwards and upwards or something similar☺

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[LadyA]

No gardening here today!! Autumn has come suddenly and with a howling gale and lashings of rain! And it's cold! The populace is in shock! We have gone from teeshirts on Friday, to maybe needing a light cardi yesterday, to full on woollies and heavy coats today!! And I'm sorry I didn't lay a fire in the front room earlier - not going out to get stuff to do it now! I'll plug in the leccy heater for a bit, and light the candle lantern in the fireplace!

Lizzy cat. She with the collar on. I am fearing she may not be with me much longer. The original horrible scab has come off her back, but there is not nice healing skin underneath, but what looks like a nasty blister thing. And she has what look like several other burst blisters around the area - these are what have been causing her to scratch the area so badly I imagine. Whatever it is, it has not responded to steroids. I am suspecting auto-immune problems. However, I simply cannot afford any more to keep taking her back to the vet for more and more treatments.

 

[truth24]

Sorry to hear about Lizzie. That sounds really nasty. Do you have any PDSA vets around that are a lot cheaper? Mine is still overgrooming and pulling out clumps of fur resulting in several nearly bald patches along her spine. She has had steroids etc without result so vet is back to thinking she is still stressed out from her early life. Hope it stops soon. Weather today was a bit of a surprise after yesterday morning. Clear and cold overnight but pleasantly autumnal during the day. Forecast is back to heavy rain tomorrow so perhaps bathroom will get started when I come back from visiting Fred. Glad to hear William is settling in a little more

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[LadyA]

So, today I had a posse of workmen in putting the back-boiler stove in the kitchen. They have to come again tomorrow. They did a lot this morning, until the had some "concrete work" done, which had to dry overnight. So they will, they say, be back in the morning to do the rest.

Meanwhile, as it got cold tonight, I thought I'd light the fire in the front room. It lit well. And didn't smoke in the front room. Sadly, to my dismay, the kitchen filled with smoke! And I don't know why - often when I light the kitchen fire (where the stove is going), unless the air currents are just right, the smoke will come out in the front room. But it's never happened the other way around. I'm wondering if it's anything to do with the huge opening for the stove? Or could there be a crack between the chimneys? I'm just flummoxed! It's a right nuisance though. It wasn't too bad when I opened the kitchen window a crack - that seemed to give a bit of updraft.

And I talked to the vet about Lizzy, and he's quite optimistic about her healing. He has given me a hydrocortizone cream for her. He thinks she did quite deep damage to the underlying layers of skin, so it's going to take time to heal, but he says from the photos I sent him, it looks like it is healing. So, he said to give her this chance with the cortizone cream, and see how that goes for a week or so, see is it showing any improvement. He's fairly confident it will.

I also got my 'flu jab today. I don't know if it's power of suggestion or what, but the nurse said it might make me very tired for a couple of days this time around - and although I've never reacted to it before, I have been absolutely exhausted all afternoon! In fact, by the time I got home from the surgery, I was yawning, and I haven't stopped since!

And I did not chop enough wood for my cozy fire, and it's gone out already! I will turn on the heater. I'm actually in two minds about whether to keep the fire in this room, or whether to put a chimney balloon up the chimney (to stop draughts) and to get an electric stove. Because if I have the other stove lighting with the boiler on, I sure won't need the fire lighting in here! And if the power was off, then I could just remove the chimney balloon, couldn't I?

 

[truth24]

Good news about Lizzy. Hope the cream works. You are constantly busy so no wonder you are tired although I have heard others say the same thing of the flu jab this year. Haven't had mine yet. Do they have different medication each year depending what strains of bug are around? Emailed a cat therapist about Katya's overgrooming and she has offered a telephone consultation at £55 for 45 min telephone call. Does this sound reasonable or should I wait a little longer to see if it settles? Could do without the expense but if she could come up with a reason and help it on its way I suppose it would be worth it. Do you know of anyone with experience of this type of thing to see if it's worth going along this route? Hope your chimney problem gets sorted.

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[lizzybean]

Horizon are doing a documentary on cats! Tonight I think, someone said over grooming is stress related???