Yes my dad.He has Vascular Dementia.At the beginning of the day we had a reasonable conversation,but by the end of it not so much.Apparently ,last year he drove to a craft fair.I hasten to add he has not driven in 3years.My biggest bug bear is when carers give him toast as he said “Yes”.But ,he is a soft diet..So I can appreciate where you are coming from.
Me too.Dad is immobile now so he cannot wander ,but has just had surgery for SCC on his leg.So that is good in one way(not the cancer).But he always presents well,so I often feel I’m going around the bend myself
It definitely does.Especially from people outside who never see it,or take everything said to them by the PWD at face value.
Me too.Dad is immobile now so he cannot wander ,but has just had surgery for SCC on his leg.So that is good in one way(not the cancer).But he always presents well,so I often feel I’m going around the bend myself
Messes with your head - it certainly does. I feel sometimes I am going round the bend.... looking as this thread it seems a lot of the PWD have Vascular - just like my OH.
Oh my the wandering, it’s nuts can’t the GPs see the reality of this nightmare.Sadly yes, my Mum also has vascular dementia and you could meet her and doubt there was anything wrong. But then the flip side is the crippling anxiety, not knowing she’s in her own home, having no capacity for day to day living and then there’s the wandering.
I feel your pain, it totally messes with your head! You continually doubt yourself and decisions that have to be made.
The sad thing is we keep hitting crisis points & still no firm tests or diagnosis so we are in limbo land.So sorry that your mother is giving you the right run-round @DesperateofDevon. I think the only thing you can do is step back and wait for the crisis to happen. That is a horrible thing to have to do, and in the end I just pre-empted things and moved mum to a care home near me before that occurred.
The sad thing is we keep hitting crisis points & still no firm tests or diagnosis so we are in limbo land.
As Mums GP deems her competent we are powerless to prevent or stop Mum from putting herself at risk.
Thankfully she has soft bones so doesn’t break anything when she falls.... just my heart that anyone can be in this situation.
If mum was happy then it would be different but all she talks about with visitors is wanting to die. So now no visitors!!!
Maybe mums only happy when she makes everybody else as miserable as herself?
What a sad life
Still I am determined to not get dragged down with this all.
So distancing myself again is the only option & letting what will be, be.
Unfortunately that is all you can do.If,as appears the GP is useless then as you know it will be a crisis.But,you have to take care of yourself..Let us know how you are doing.Take care.The sad thing is we keep hitting crisis points & still no firm tests or diagnosis so we are in limbo land.
As Mums GP deems her competent we are powerless to prevent or stop Mum from putting herself at risk.
Thankfully she has soft bones so doesn’t break anything when she falls.... just my heart that anyone can be in this situation.
If mum was happy then it would be different but all she talks about with visitors is wanting to die. So now no visitors!!!
Maybe mums only happy when she makes everybody else as miserable as herself?
What a sad life
Still I am determined to not get dragged down with this all.
So distancing myself again is the only option & letting what will be, be.
Could you not see a different GP?The sad thing is we keep hitting crisis points & still no firm tests or diagnosis so we are in limbo land.
As Mums GP deems her competent we are powerless to prevent or stop Mum from putting herself at risk.
Thankfully she has soft bones so doesn’t break anything when she falls.... just my heart that anyone can be in this situation.
If mum was happy then it would be different but all she talks about with visitors is wanting to die. So now no visitors!!!
Maybe mums only happy when she makes everybody else as miserable as herself?
What a sad life
Still I am determined to not get dragged down with this all.
So distancing myself again is the only option & letting what will be, be.
Could you not see a different GP?
I panicked last week when my OH bought a bicycle without telling me - he lost his license because he is not safe on the road, but, what will be will be - I altered his family that he had done this, and now just leave him to it. If there is a disaster, I have done my best to look after him for years,and at some point there will be an emergency.... goes with the disease I think
It definitely does.Especially from people outside who never see it,or take everything said to them by the PWD at face value.
This is something I 100% agree with - especially if they do not "see" the PWD only talk to them on the phone when they can sound completely lucid - yet the carer can see the PWD in a different light and knows the whole picture, but those who have not seen them from one year to the next ie invisibiles, don't believe what the carers say is in the best interest of the PWD - they make their own conclusions based on facts they believe to be true.