Feelings?

[Mommajan]

Hi, This is my first post and don't really know where to start.
After reading some of your many comments I feel many of you will understand where I am
I feel so many different things that I don't know which way to turn. My husband and children are wonderfully supportive, but I feel I need to be able to get thing of my chest with people that are not connected to me. I feel like I am sinking in a pool of pressure and anxiety. I know that we must all go through this but I feel I am getting lost in all the ups and downs of caring for my mum.
And I wish other friends and relatives would stop telling me that my mum 'IS FINE' I know they are trying to be supportive but......

 

[Sarasa]

A warm welcome to Dementia Support Forum @Mommajan. You'll find lots of help and support here.
Often people with dementia can keep it together to seem pretty OK with those they don't see often, whereas the person who does see a lot of them is really worried about what is happening. My brother kept on telling me to 'chill' when I emailed him after every visit to my mum about my concerns. Being told someone is fine when you are sure they are not isn't very helpful, but there will always be someone to listen to you here.

 

[LouiseW]

Hi
The pool of pressure and anxiety is bad enough without the stupid comments from people who are not ready, willing or able to acknowledge the true picture.

Sometimes I thought I was the one with dementia rather than my Dad ! It was only when Dad went into residential care that I had allies (the staff) who knew how bad he was and I found this a breath of fresh air.

If there is any way you can get the "She's fine" brigade to do a day (or longer) caring stint they may change thier tune.

Wishing you and your family well

 

[Angel55]

Hi, This is my first post and don't really know where to start.
After reading some of your many comments I feel many of you will understand where I am
I feel so many different things that I don't know which way to turn. My husband and children are wonderfully supportive, but I feel I need to be able to get thing of my chest with people that are not connected to me. I feel like I am sinking in a pool of pressure and anxiety. I know that we must all go through this but I feel I am getting lost in all the ups and downs of caring for my mum.
And I wish other friends and relatives would stop telling me that my mum 'IS FINE' I know they are trying to be supportive but......

❤️Hello

I doubted myself a fair number of times and thought maybe it was me and I was the one who wasn't fine. Totally untrue of course. I cut people some slack these days but I didn't in the beginning and this is because if people do not really know the person as you do then they do seem 'fine' in fact the person themselves can also think they are 'fine'.

Often my PWD can chat and seem fine to outsiders even now but come to the thinking behind the words and that is where the illness is evident more. Your friends and relatives perhaps do not realise. Sometimes they need a little reminder that caring is not easy and you yourself regardless of how your mum may appear need a little more tlc.

The forum is a very supportive place and I hope you will find it helpful x

 

[Jake's Nan]

Feel your pressure, being told to chill out, switch off, don't answer your mobile, look after yourself!! Impossible but we're all here for you.