feel this is the end for Mum

Discussion in 'End of life care' started by tomkitten16, Sep 12, 2015.

  1. cragmaid

    cragmaid Registered User

    Oct 18, 2010
    7,942
    North East England
    I'm so pleased to hear that your dear Mum is back in her own bed and is being tenderly cared for.
    You are not alone, The entire might of TP is in the corridor.:D If you need to speak, we will listen.
    In the mean time, peace and rest for Mum, and peace and strength for you and your family....what will be, will be.x.x.
     
  2. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,815
    UK
    Your mum is now in the best place, she is comfortable and not in any pain. Childrens tv not that bad, I sometimes watch it myself. Take care of your self.
     
  3. Slugsta

    Slugsta Registered User

    Thank you for the update. I am so glad that your lovely mum is back where she is loved and cared for. I hope that the following days/weeks are kind to you all. xx
     
  4. tomkitten16

    tomkitten16 Registered User

    Sep 24, 2012
    342
    merseyside
    Thankyou all for your kindness;I will keep you all posted xx
     
  5. Tears Falling

    Tears Falling Registered User

    Jul 8, 2013
    637
    Glad to read your mum is in a familiar place with people who care around her. It sounds as if she is "home" and comfortable. I hope the days to come are peaceful for you all.
     
  6. tomkitten16

    tomkitten16 Registered User

    Sep 24, 2012
    342
    merseyside
    Hi my friends Been to see Mum today and carer said things are not good ; only had 20 mls of fluid in 2 days;Mum looks vacant and it was so sad;stroked her hand and no response;she took 2mls of liquid whilst we were there but she cannot live much longer like this;Hoping our Dad who died on 29th Sept 20 yrs ago will come and take her to peace.Mum is calm,warm and peaceful;the care staff are fabulous and care so much;lets hope the end is near for Mum ;We will be heartbroken but relieved that her horrible journey is at an end x
     
  7. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    6,962
    Brixham Devon
    Thank you for the update Tomkitten. I hope that your Mum continues to be peaceful as her journey continues; and I hope that you find strength from somewhere.

    I'm glad the Carers are gentle and loving-it makes such a difference. I hope your Dad comes soon.

    Love for you and your family at this time

    Lyn T XX
     
  8. tomkitten16

    tomkitten16 Registered User

    Sep 24, 2012
    342
    merseyside
    Thank you so much;its just a waiting game now; Poor Mum can't fight much more xx
     
  9. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    11,106
    Female
    South coast
    I am so sorry to hear this tomkitten. The final vigil is hard for everyone.
    Im glad she is comfortable and peaceful.
     
  10. sleepless

    sleepless Registered User

    Feb 19, 2010
    3,223
    Female
    The Sweet North
    Thinking of you, and hoping your Mum goes peacefully to join your Dad.
     
  11. Onlyme

    Onlyme Registered User

    Apr 5, 2010
    4,995
    UK
    I will keep you both in my thoughts. May your Mum's passing be peaceful
     
  12. tomkitten16

    tomkitten16 Registered User

    Sep 24, 2012
    342
    merseyside
    Cannot understand this anymore!

    Went to see Mum yesterday and I asked the lovely care manager was Mum still considered to be at end of life and she said no!!! Just to recap- Mum has not eaten or drunk anything more than 10mls every day for the past 4 weeks- she refuses to take puree/liquid;she lost her ability to speak ages ago;she is weak,bedbound;only passing a minute amount of urine due to her not drinking ;no bowel movement as she is not eating; she doesn't move her arms/legs;when she rests her eyes are permanantly half open;when she has injections she doesn't blink/flinch when at one time she would have screamed blue murder; she doesn't know us-her family and she is totally unresponsive.How can this not be end of life? It is so sad just watching her lying there - wish this would all end for her and give her the peace she deserves.
     
  13. scousergirl

    scousergirl Registered User

    Sep 13, 2015
    3
    no one knows

    I hear you! My mom 93 was moved from CH, to hospital, to NH. She has not eaten for 6 months, apart from a few teaspoons of puree food and taking a Fortris drink daily and a few cups of tea. She has little urine output
    She has lost half her body weight, sleeps lots and has pain patches.
    And yet they do not say she is in end of life care.
    I live in Canada and want to be over again ( twice already this year) to see her but need a time frame. ( sounds awful, but I can't stay indefinitely)
    My sister visits her daily and is dealing with this alone.
    We thought she was passing some months ago with chest infection while I was there but antibiotics worked. She now passes mucus when drinking anything.
    Just wish she was out of her suffering.
     
  14. tomkitten16

    tomkitten16 Registered User

    Sep 24, 2012
    342
    merseyside
    last stage of mum's journey

    We were called in to Mum's CH this morning with news that Mum was getting worse;We waited for the GP who is going to increase Mum's morphine and administer liquid morphine too.Mum was semi conscious and seemed in pain .She still cannot seem to s wallow so she is having mouth swabs.The lovely staff are making her as comfy as possible and still trying to encourage her to sip fluid. This afternoon ,the CH asked us to choose a funeral director for when the time comes;at least my sister and I have time to plan for what Mum would have wanted; basically now I think Mum is reaching the final end of this horrible journey.I will miss her but we lost our real Mum when dementia started.
     
  15. cragmaid

    cragmaid Registered User

    Oct 18, 2010
    7,942
    North East England
    From one who has been in your shoes this year, sit and talk to her and about her, let her hear life and love around. When she is ready, she'll let go.

    For this is the hard bit for you, when your job of being practical begins anew and as decisions need to be made....but not just yet, not now...now is for saying goodbye.x.
     
  16. tomkitten16

    tomkitten16 Registered User

    Sep 24, 2012
    342
    merseyside
    last stage of a journey

    Mum now is on vigil care and has had a morphine pump administered;I will visit tomorrow but I hope her peaceful end is near.Thank you all for kind comments and I will post when I know more x
     
  17. cragmaid

    cragmaid Registered User

    Oct 18, 2010
    7,942
    North East England
    I can add no more to what I said earlier, however I am boosting this so that others can add their support in prayers, words, or thoughts.

    Take care.x.
     
  18. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,815
    UK
    Thinking of you tonight tomkitten.
     
  19. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    11,106
    Female
    South coast
    Praying for peace and strength for the final vigil.
    xx
     
  20. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    60,154
    Female
    Dundee
    Wishing peace for your mum and continuing strength for you. x
     

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