EOL again?

[MeganCat]

My mums CH rang this morning early - the OOH GP had been out -? Another chest infection - the GP wanted to speak to me - she thinks it may be EOL as her upper respiratory tract is really rattling and she was concerned about her observations - she may have an infection in her lower lungs but it was hard to listen to her chest due to the rattling. Her temp is up a bit. She said she thinks this may be the final stages.
She’s prescribed a just in case pack and oral antibiotics.
She’s pale, but quite warm - she sounds really rattly and her breathing is laboured and open mouthed, occasionally coughing (she’s been nursed in bed for ~4 years, she’s been in the care home over 10 years now) - but she did eat nearly a whole pudding at lunch and had some juice. The carers are trying her with dinner now.
It’s hard to know what’s going on - I guess I expected that she’d not want to eat. she’s rallied so many times. I’m rambling- just offloading a bit - useless brother has asked me to ‘keep him updated’ he’s still in Scotland and has only visited once

 

[Grannie G]

useless brother has asked me to ‘keep him updated’ he’s still in Scotland and has only visited once

That is so unsupportive @MeganCat. My mother used to say this when we were caring for my grandmother and I know how irritating that kind of comment is.

I really thought your mum was at the end of life stage when you mentioned her breathing and was surprised she is still eating.

It just shows how different everyone is and how no one really knows

I hope you are able to take care of yourself throughout this worrying time.

 

[MeganCat]

Thanks Grannie G - yes he is ‘irritating’ to put it politely. Mum seemed a little better today- she’s only had 1 day antibiotics so it couldn’t be them - the regular nurse who has looked after mum for about 5 years didn’t necessarily agree with the GP (who had never met her before). She’s still rattling but not as much as yesterday- 🤞she’s rallying again. She had some cake with cream when I was there - wasn’t interested in the main course but she has developed a sweet tooth so that’s not unusual. If you google all the signs of end of life dementia mums had many of them for years! Such a rollercoaster

 

[Woody54321]

My mother has been in bed since Christmas when she deteriorated following some uti"s, EOL meds in care home for weeks but has not needed them, I thought that this was it. She has now started to eat, puddings mostly and takes milk and ensure drinks and I have just been told she is putting weight on again so it definitely is a rollercoaster. I must say that since they stopped her medication( apart from her pain relief patch) she has been brighter, very few words if any, now wondering if she should be taken to the day room for some stimulation as lying in bed must be so boring although she does have a lovely view of sheep and lambs in the fields. So sorry your mum has been in bed that long I hadn't realised how long it can go on for until joining this forum but it is true that everyone has a different journey. Take care xx

 

[BarneyBear20]

Hello MeganCat your post is like reading about my own mum , my lovely mum has been living with Dementia for about over 12 years and been in a care home for the last 6 years .Mum has been complete nursing care for the past four and in her bed ,so many times she has had really bad chest infections and we try to accept she wont be able to fight anymore as she is so frail ,but she finds the strength from somewhere .
The care home and all the staff are amazing .
It is so hard and can be a rollercoaster of emotions at times unbearable, I feel your pain and I am sending you a hug please take care

 

[MeganCat]

Thanks Woody and BarneyBear for your replies - mum continued to eat and bounced back from this infection (interestingly I became ill after spending 4 days with her, seeing no one else, and tested +ve for Covid) no one else on her floor had symptoms- she’s in bed, so only comes across staff and the odd wandering resident, the nurse said that none of the staff had symptoms but I guess there’s no testing now and someone could be asymptomatic.
She’s back to what’s normal for her, although quieter (she would vocalise constantly) but she seems peaceful and comfortable. My cortisol levels have slowly come back down! xxx