Dear Sue
You have had so much sadness in your life, it's no wonder you're depressed. I think Sylvia is right, you should ring Samaritans at once. Thay are used to talking to people who feel at the end of their tether, and will be there for you at any time, day or night. They can't take away the problems, but they will help you bear them.
The same applies to TP. Just keep posting, and someone will answer. Can I suggest that the next time you start a new thread on the Support forum? More people read that, and you will get more answers.
Beyond that, as Sylvia says, you should ring your GP on Monday and make an appointment. You need help, and there is no shame in that. We all do, inour own ways.
Keep in touch, we do want to help you.
Love,