This is my life right now. DH has Asperger's and I think he has started down the road with linguistic variant frontotemporal dementia. I documented for two months the changes in personality, the confusion and the cognitive lapses he is experiencing and went to talk to our GP by myself. She is concerned, and has set up an appointment for more testing, with a referral to a neurologist if the tests are suggestive of dementia.
The hostessing is really a pain. He will admit how confused he is to me and wants assistance in everything to the point where I feel he has turned me into a 24/7 personal aid & yet when faced with a professional who can get him help? He is fine and I'm exaggerating the problems, it is just his AS and stress.
The difficulty I face is that because of the AS he has different definitions of what it is to be a person and how other people beyond himself expect to be treated. Right now he see he needs help and expects me to deny all aspects of my own life, personality etc and be of service to him. Because of the dementia he makes mistakes and drops important financial and business tasks that I must constantly monitor both my life and his decisions actions etc. I am at the end of my tether, both because I am treated as a useful object or tool, while being under constant legal & financial threat by his actions. If we could get the diagnosis I could remove all financial decision making from him and lower the stress of what I will discover he's done next.
I am getting help, I have a supportive GP, this disease is just so invisible especially against Asperger's that no sees the hell of lives that have no normal, no ground to stand on that cannot shift and tilt at any moment, and a husband who is more than willing to throw me under the bus to protect his own image of himself as okay.
Exactly my situation re Asperger's - we are 18 months from a sudden decline due to him almost dying in hospital. I asked on here and got a very positive answer - and that is that the traits of people with Asperger's become very much exaggerated when they develop dementia - as if we did not have enough to cope with!