Thank you for your kind words, I was going to take my lead from the home on whether to visit often or not to start with. When mum was at home I only visited once a week.
Discharge from hospital!
- Thread starter SweetPepper
- Start date
I am prepared to still be the manager of her care and am not assuming everything will go smoothly, however, fingers crossed…!
I hope all goes well.
I took my mum from sheltered extra care to a care home in April.
I'd had to book a wheelchair taxi to take her and my car was at her flat so I went back in the taxi as well.
I then collected clothes etc and returned. If she'd been unsettled I wouldn't have seen her but she understood what was happening and was fine. (the staff at the sheltered extra care had gently spoken to her about it over a number of weeks).
I don't visit that often as whilst mum is only 15 minute drive away, with work and a teenage son life is busy.
I took my mum from sheltered extra care to a care home in April.
I'd had to book a wheelchair taxi to take her and my car was at her flat so I went back in the taxi as well.
I then collected clothes etc and returned. If she'd been unsettled I wouldn't have seen her but she understood what was happening and was fine. (the staff at the sheltered extra care had gently spoken to her about it over a number of weeks).
I don't visit that often as whilst mum is only 15 minute drive away, with work and a teenage son life is busy.
Yep there’s been a fair bit of rushing around, finding important paperwork in her house, changing her voicemail etc etc. her house is 12 miles north of me, all country lanes and the hospital is 20 miles east of me, so I am looking forward to her being less than 4 miles away!
It makes things so much easier when your loved one is close by. My mum's care home is on the way to the leisure centre I use, so I just pop in for a couple of minutes on the way to or from to check she is OK. She now has very advanced dementia and is usually asleep when I call in.
Phew, all sorted. Went to the hospital to find her making no sense at all - she has a UTI.
Anyway, got her into the car and off to the home, mobility has had another set back but no worries, into her room which she loved, it has been freshly decorated and matching green curtains and quilt, all very nice, carers, housekeeping, kitchens etc all fussing over her, she had a cup of tea and after an hour or so I slipped away when she was snoring with her mouth open!
So fingers crossed all seems good so far!
Anyway, got her into the car and off to the home, mobility has had another set back but no worries, into her room which she loved, it has been freshly decorated and matching green curtains and quilt, all very nice, carers, housekeeping, kitchens etc all fussing over her, she had a cup of tea and after an hour or so I slipped away when she was snoring with her mouth open!
So fingers crossed all seems good so far!
That sounds good @SweetPepper. It sounds very nice and I guess just having one resident in a week means they have a good chance to get to know them before the next one arrives.
Hope the UTI clears up pronto too.
Hope the UTI clears up pronto too.
Yes all fingers crossed that this works out, all her life she’s liked being alone so this is a massive change for her but I think having spent 28 nights in hospital in the last month has made her a bit institutionalised.
Thank you for asking, up and down! Yesterday was pretty grim with leaking pads and her refusing personal care, and being quite suspicious - that’s directly because of the 4x a day carers last week really worrying her. I left her yesterday when she was having tea.
Today as soon as I arrived and before I got to her about three people had told me she was refusing personal care. She barricaded her bedroom door with the wheelchair last night too. Anyway, when I got to her she was stinking, clean nightie on but stains on the front, food and wee. I am quite matter if fact so after gently asking about having a shower I to,d her she smelt awful, of wee, that she had a urine infection and that if she didn’t keep clean she’d be back in hospital. Basically I bullied her into getting on with it, good job I did, her nightie was wet with wee waist to hem, the smell was appalling. She was back from her shower in 15 minutes, felt a lot better for it, the bed so read (wee) was gone and the west cushion (wee) replaced and had a waterproof pad on it too. She is very bloody minded but imo there is no other option available than a ch - she cannot go home, she’s practically off her legs without someone to help her.
I will keep going daily for a while but tomorrow I’m going late morning and come hell or high water she will be having lunch in the lovely dining room with other residents. Out of choice she would never leave her room.
Although it is often suggested that it is best to let a person with dementia settle into their care home for a week or two before visiting, it sounds that going in everyday is a good thing in your case @SweetPepper . Your mum isn't going to be content anywhere at the moment, but at least there are people to keep an eye on her and she should gradually get used to the home and hopefully get a little happier.
Hope tomorrow goes well. Mum's previous care home would let visitors have lunch for a charge. I never did that, but I had a fair few glasses of pre-lunch sherry, the place seemed to run on the stuff.
Hope tomorrow goes well. Mum's previous care home would let visitors have lunch for a charge. I never did that, but I had a fair few glasses of pre-lunch sherry, the place seemed to run on the stuff.
Thank you, I am trying, and I definitely feel better in myself. Before mum went into the home I just had to keep on keeping on.
Yes I do mull it over quite a bit, she is quite early in her Alzheimer’s journey though so although we do have some random stuff she can at times seem perfectly with it and dementia free. I can eat with her for a donation but tomorrow it will be challenging enough just to get her out of the room and in with others. I’ll ring the room in the morning and pre-warn them so they can decide where and who she should sit with, or if it’s just the two of us in a separate table.
Well done. You are doing a good job. I am watching your story as my mother is, in many ways, similar. She has now said she wants to sell her house and I am searching, searching, searching for a care home which would feel right. I am alone with that responsibility really. It is daunting. It is hard, even at this stage. You are in the next stage and I have that coming within the next few weeks.
Could you rent her house out instead, which would earn more money than in the bank?
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