Devastated

[Grace7990]

Thank you for excepting me on here My Husband was Diagnosed yesterday with mixed Alzheimers and Vascular Dementia
We are in shock ! We have our severely disabled Daugher home still 😭😭 where the heck to start now ! She is hopefully going into a supported living placement soon Social care are a joke Iv battled all her life she is 30 end of the month . My loving giving kind hearted husband is 71 if he needs to go into a home eventually do they take all his money out home ? I’m so scared I’m 60 so no pension until I’m 67
It’s so scary , may he deteriorate soon or do some people have it slow for a long time ?
Please help 💔💔

 

[Izzy]

Welcome to the forum @Grace7990.

I’m so sorry to read about your husband’s diagnosis. It must be incredibly hard for both you and for your daughter.

It’s really early for you in terms of the progress of the disease. It’s really easy for me to say but please take one day at a time. It’s hard to say how quickly it will progress. My husband had Alzheimers and lived with it for 15 years from diagnosis. Others will have had different experiences.

This link may be of some help -

After receiving a dementia diagnosis

There’s a lot to think about when you find out you have dementia. Our advice explains what happens immediately after you are told, and how to access support.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

It might also be helpful for you to contact the Admiral Nurse helpline for advice and support -

Admiral Nurse Dementia Helpline

Dementia UK is a charity that provides Admiral Nurses for families affected by dementia. Call our Dementia Helpline to find out how we can support you.

www.dementiauk.org

 

[canary]

Hello @Grace7990

Its impossible to say how long the disease will go on for, but can I reassure you about your house. Assuming that you are in UK your house will be disregarded from financial assessments all the while you are living in it and the money from that time will not be collected later.

I would suggest that at this stage you get legal stuff and benefits sorted. Make sure that your husband organises POA and an up to date will (if not already done). He should be eligible for Attendance Allowance and once you have got that he should get Council Tax disregard (you have probably got this for your daughter too) and you would be eligible for Carers Allowance, although you cant get it twice for both your husband and daughter. Age UK, Carers organisations or Citizens Advice can help with benefits advice and helping with form filling - and I do recommend that you get help because the form for Attendance Allowance is long, complex and easy to understate difficulties.

The only other advice I have is to get help in early - if you leave it until you are on your knees he may find it hard to accept it. Contact Social Services for a needs assessment and grab all offers of help with both hands. It will take adjustment from both of you.
xx