My Mother-in-Law is in the middle to later stages of vascular dementia. The decline is both rapid and glacial. Over the weekend she has used a knife only to eat her lunch (she insists on having meals with a knife and fork). She has tipped a cup of tea over herself and needed to change all her clothes. She has become increasingly unstable while walking (but hasn't fallen). She has walking aids but refuses to use them. She is incontinent but often goes upstairs and takes her incontinence pads off. She is a strong willed person and really believes there is nothing wrong with her. I think that's part of the reason why she reject all the walking aids. Is there any advice of aids that are available that dont look like aids. Better cups for less spillages. Advice over getting her to eat more. I have tried finger food and she's not really keen.
Deterioration and better aids
- Thread starter Anjona
- Start date
Hello @Anjona . It sounds like your MIL is at the stage of still fighting against the changes because she believes that there is nothing wrong (very common) and therefore wont accept things
My OH has mobility problems (and does fall quite often), but still wont accept that he needs aids. We have been through the lot - walking stick, frames, rolaator and now needs a wheelchair when he is out. He still wont use anything indoors though and just holds on the furniture and bounces ff the walls
. The OT has organised grab rails around the home and he does use them to get around. Im afraid that all of the walking aids do look like walking aides. I take them with me when we go out and tell him they are "just in case", although I know that within a very short time while we are out he will need it. I did wonder about a wheeled shopping trolley for your MIL. I have seen people out with them and it does seem to improve their balance, although I dare say that OTs wouldnt be happy.
Quite often you just have to just present people with dementia with what they need and not ask them first. I have given up with a giving OH a knife for dinner and now I cook things that dont need cutting up and I give both of us just a fork - that way he doesnt feel left out.
My OH has mobility problems (and does fall quite often), but still wont accept that he needs aids. We have been through the lot - walking stick, frames, rolaator and now needs a wheelchair when he is out. He still wont use anything indoors though and just holds on the furniture and bounces ff the walls
. The OT has organised grab rails around the home and he does use them to get around. Im afraid that all of the walking aids do look like walking aides. I take them with me when we go out and tell him they are "just in case", although I know that within a very short time while we are out he will need it. I did wonder about a wheeled shopping trolley for your MIL. I have seen people out with them and it does seem to improve their balance, although I dare say that OTs wouldnt be happy.Quite often you just have to just present people with dementia with what they need and not ask them first. I have given up with a giving OH a knife for dinner and now I cook things that dont need cutting up and I give both of us just a fork - that way he doesnt feel left out.
thank you for the response @canary . We have been given an indoor two wheeled walker. She generally thinks it's a person and it's currently on the front drive which is where she put it on Friday evening. We have a four wheeled walker with a seat that the OT says that she cannot use without supervison as she cant remember how to work the brakes. She also generally thinks this is a person also but dislikes this less than the two wheeled walker. We have grab rail where we can. She wants to go out, she wants to be able to go to the shop but she physically cannot particularly when she refuses to event use a shopping trolley to aid her balance.
She generally says that she's not hungry, then says she's not hungry, she's she's not hungry and then she's starving. She normally eats at just after 12 noon and at about 5-6.30pm in the evening (often before my partner is home and a lot earlier than we would eat. So I often give her a ready meal as it's quick. Oh in addition she has the invisible people that she speaks to and she insists that they need feeding too. Generally this is in the evening so I just do a plate of sandwiches for them and they also just go in the bin at the end of the day. Yesterday she was in a foul mood. In the morning her room had urine soaked night clothes and other clothes that she tried putting on which were urine soaked. She was in a foul mood and started with the wanting to go home at about 9.30am. She was angry that I was neglecting "the children" so I ended up making them another plate of sandwiches. This morning it was hard work getting her to have a shower and then an hour after that she literally picked her tea and poured it over herself requiring all her to change all her clothes again. Do all the cups to stop spillages look like toddler cups? Is there anything more "adult"?
She generally says that she's not hungry, then says she's not hungry, she's she's not hungry and then she's starving. She normally eats at just after 12 noon and at about 5-6.30pm in the evening (often before my partner is home and a lot earlier than we would eat. So I often give her a ready meal as it's quick. Oh in addition she has the invisible people that she speaks to and she insists that they need feeding too. Generally this is in the evening so I just do a plate of sandwiches for them and they also just go in the bin at the end of the day. Yesterday she was in a foul mood. In the morning her room had urine soaked night clothes and other clothes that she tried putting on which were urine soaked. She was in a foul mood and started with the wanting to go home at about 9.30am. She was angry that I was neglecting "the children" so I ended up making them another plate of sandwiches. This morning it was hard work getting her to have a shower and then an hour after that she literally picked her tea and poured it over herself requiring all her to change all her clothes again. Do all the cups to stop spillages look like toddler cups? Is there anything more "adult"?
I wonder if there would be a suitable cup here @Anjona -
www.completecareshop.co.uk
Non Spill Cups & Mugs for Adults - Complete Care Shop
We@re back online! Discover non-spill cups and mugs designed for adults, promoting independence. Shop Non-Spill Cups @ Mugs today.
www.completecareshop.co.uk
Thanks @Izzy Liking the look of the two handled bone china in white.I wonder if there would be a suitable cup here @Anjona -
Non Spill Cups & Mugs for Adults - Complete Care Shop
We@re back online! Discover non-spill cups and mugs designed for adults, promoting independence. Shop Non-Spill Cups @ Mugs today.
