My husband and I are both in our seventies. We reconnected in 2015 and married after many years of being apart. Initially, we met when he was 22, and I was 20. He was in the military at the time. After we dated for a while, we went our separate ways and lost contact. In 2014, I looked for him to see how he was doing. I lived on the east coast, and he lived in the Midwest. When I found him, he had lost his sight (glaucoma), had a stroke, and developed diabetes and other health issues. He was living alone but seemed to be functioning well. While we were "dating," he had another stroke which caused additional mental impairment. We married in 2015, and I moved to be with him in the Midwest because I didn't feel right leaving him on his own and I do love him.
My dilemma is dealing with his dementia, diabetes, and blindness. I encourage him to be as independent as possible, but he often feigns helplessness or maybe not. I don't know. Whatever I try to do, he rebels and gives me a hard time. Our biggest hurdle is his hygiene which isn't good due to dementia and blindness. He's stubborn and doesn't like going to the doctor, leaving the house, or bathing regularly. I had no medical training before him, so it's been a large learning curve, often frustrating for us. When he lost sight, he declined any assistance from VA to get training to help him navigate as a blind person. He lives in the past due to PTSD and childhood trauma. I am not in the best health myself and find it challenging to meet his needs and care for myself. Any help would be appreciated.
My dilemma is dealing with his dementia, diabetes, and blindness. I encourage him to be as independent as possible, but he often feigns helplessness or maybe not. I don't know. Whatever I try to do, he rebels and gives me a hard time. Our biggest hurdle is his hygiene which isn't good due to dementia and blindness. He's stubborn and doesn't like going to the doctor, leaving the house, or bathing regularly. I had no medical training before him, so it's been a large learning curve, often frustrating for us. When he lost sight, he declined any assistance from VA to get training to help him navigate as a blind person. He lives in the past due to PTSD and childhood trauma. I am not in the best health myself and find it challenging to meet his needs and care for myself. Any help would be appreciated.