I went to visit my daughter yesterday and they’d been invited to a neighbour’s birthday party and I was invited along. I was reluctant as I’m getting rubbish at social stuff like this. But I went anyway.
Its so strange being in company without Bridget. Fortunately no one asked about my circumstances so I didn’t make people feel uncomfortable. I forgot about Bridget off and on for 2 hours and felt a traitor, as if I’d abandoned her.
I’m told that Bridget would want me to be happy, to have fun, laugh, be jolly, but that easy feeling of happy contentment being together can’t be any more. I feel she’s there saying “ you’re lucky having freedom to do all this. I’m stuck in dementia, stuck in a home”.
I can either stay indoors and mope around or get out and do something. Either way it won’t make a difference to Bridget’s care and condition. In fact, if I deteriorate by neglecting myself then what good am I to Bridget?
Oh I don’t know, it’s such a awful emotional merry go round to be on.
Its so strange being in company without Bridget. Fortunately no one asked about my circumstances so I didn’t make people feel uncomfortable. I forgot about Bridget off and on for 2 hours and felt a traitor, as if I’d abandoned her.
I’m told that Bridget would want me to be happy, to have fun, laugh, be jolly, but that easy feeling of happy contentment being together can’t be any more. I feel she’s there saying “ you’re lucky having freedom to do all this. I’m stuck in dementia, stuck in a home”.
I can either stay indoors and mope around or get out and do something. Either way it won’t make a difference to Bridget’s care and condition. In fact, if I deteriorate by neglecting myself then what good am I to Bridget?
Oh I don’t know, it’s such a awful emotional merry go round to be on.