Hi @Dutchman, despite the advanced stage of my Husband's dementia I still have him at home but by keeping him at home I have no life outside of caring for him and running the house. I have someone now come to sit with a couple of hours twice a week while I go out. The freedom is lovely and probably does me good, but I find I am getting behind with things in the house and garden because in essence I really do not have the time to go out. I get very little sleep at night and usually have a nap in the afternoon when he goes to sleep after lunch, this doesn't happen on the days I do go out so when I return and have to get our evening meal I am tired out, I struggle through then when I sit down to have a drink after the meal (I have to sit with him to make sure he drinks otherwise he just leaves it) and I end up going to sleep.I’ll tell you one thing in confidence that I feel right now and makes me feel uncomfortable.
I visit Bridget regularly, I love her to bits, I’d care for her till my dying day if I could and give everything we have to have her back with me if God could arrange a miracle or two.
But having lived more or less on my own now for 3 years ( one year at home full on dementia behaviour) I’ve forgotten what our normal life was like. You take that life for granted as part and parcel of day to day living. Bridget is becoming someone I used to know, a life I used to have. And unless you end it all by taking your own life you have no choice but to somehow get on with it, adapt somehow, even attempting a decent dinner for one.
My problem is I can't let go, I would be just like you describe with your Wife. A friend whose Husband went into a Care Home with his Dementia, after a few weeks a lady in the home took a fancy to him and they developed a relationship, she used to sit with him at visiting times holding his hand while my friend visited. I don't know how I would cope if that happened to me, so I struggle on at home.