Dear Diary!

Eddcorner

Registered User
Aug 27, 2020
1,693
0
Phew! You had me worried that there was something horrible had happened.
Yes always good to be prepared.
xx
I appreciate your concern @canary ❤ should have qualified my remarks a little bit better perhaps! Still it gives me a lift that you asked - makes a big difference to my day :)
 

Eddcorner

Registered User
Aug 27, 2020
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Winner! New thinner type marker pens are easier to hold and manipulate; mum tracing/following the words I've set down and 'finishing' stick figures and faces. I always remember as a young child watching her construct lifelike faces and hands (always my downfall), at some point she seemed to stop... never knew why 🤔

Mum left school at fifteen although she did return to college briefly when I was doing my 'O' levels passing all three subjects she had taken. I know there were other stints... but it was different back then, so much unfulfilled potential. Mum and dad the cleverest people I knew ever!
 

Eddcorner

Registered User
Aug 27, 2020
1,693
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Well did a partial clothes shop with mum (online) 😵the process has taken several weeks and has been painful at best! Mum's stuff in recent years has been bought for comfort and ease of dressing, the rheumatoid arthritis hasn't helped in the least either... So the summary of the best part of our twenty-day deliberations: three half length cardigans and three vest tops, oh and a vacuum cleaner at mum's insistence so I can do a more thorough job at cleaning!! And people think I'm in charge haha 😄 Well there's more pain to follow sigh; trousers, slippers, appropriate shoes, more loose fitting tops, oh and a new hat as always. Flashbacks of being dragged to numerous shops as a child 😕 Aarrghh!
 

Eddcorner

Registered User
Aug 27, 2020
1,693
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Clothes have finally arrived although still waiting for vacuum cleaner thank goodness haha! Here's hoping for a good fit, buying online is not ideal and have had a number of hits & misses... fingers crossed eh? Now to wake mum up after nap and prepare lunch - chicken breast fillets await! Motivate, motivate, motivate 😛
 

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
3,876
0
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
Winner! New thinner type marker pens are easier to hold and manipulate; mum tracing/following the words I've set down and 'finishing' stick figures and faces. I always remember as a young child watching her construct lifelike faces and hands (always my downfall), at some point she seemed to stop... never knew why 🤔

Mum left school at fifteen although she did return to college briefly when I was doing my 'O' levels passing all three subjects she had taken. I know there were other stints... but it was different back then, so much unfulfilled potential. Mum and dad the cleverest people I knew ever!
One of the activity groups we go to provides loads of colouring in books but with pages all loose so as to share and yrs, the finer ‘knibbed’ pens/pencils are far better to use. Strange thing is that while Pauline will have a go at colouring in while at the group she refuses at home and same with jigsaws.
 

Eddcorner

Registered User
Aug 27, 2020
1,693
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Quick cardigan update!! Wow it fits and mum looks so much more comfortable; lighter knitted material, not so long, bright colours and more importantly it's received her personal seal of approval 💯! As mum can run 'hot and cold' this is a definite improvement - if the room gets above a certain temperature she literally shuts down and/or becomes increasingly distracted. You wouldn't think clothes were such an important factor but it's an additional variable which has to be considered methinks. Apart from the science of dressing ;) she looks and feels much happier. I'll settle for that 🖖
 

Neveradullday!

Registered User
Oct 12, 2022
3,462
0
England
I agree with you, @Eddcorner, I also dislike buying clothes online. We go to our local town shopping centre every now and again, but the thing is a lot of the bigger clothes shops are no longer there.
Debenhams, Marks and Spencer, Next - all gone. So there's not the choice there once was. The big city a few miles away is a definite no go for a PWD, in my opinion.

A vacuum cleaner is a necessary evil but a bit of advice - if your mum mentions a contraption called an ironing board, resist this with all your might. Think of an excuse, there's a worldwide shortage for instance.
 

Eddcorner

Registered User
Aug 27, 2020
1,693
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One of the activity groups we go to provides loads of colouring in books but with pages all loose so as to share and yrs, the finer ‘knibbed’ pens/pencils are far better to use. Strange thing is that while Pauline will have a go at colouring in while at the group she refuses at home and same with jigsaws.
Hi @Agzy

Early stages mum would do paint by numbers, not-too heavy jigsaws and colouring in books as well, however she also has rheumatoid arthritis and intermittent cold hands which can impact her fine motor movements... All that aside mum's planned activities are often now fluid in nature; drawing, reading, tracing, arts and crafts... bloomin' hard to keep up!! I thought at first the thicker markers would be easier to use but she would put them down and at the time concluded it wasn't her thing quickly moving onto something else. It was only after a period of lengthy reflection (pulling my hair out) that I revisited this, so easy to relegate something to the dustbin and then just forget about it as you seek ready answers.

I totally get what you say about Pauline, there's stuff mum will do at home that she won't even consider when we're travelling and vice versa. With mum she's so routine oriented, home based activities are home based full stop! Outside activities exactly the same regardless of my countless attempts to encourage otherwise. Just another nuance of her journey which I've come to accept ;)
 

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
3,876
0
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
Hi @Agzy

Early stages mum would do paint by numbers, not-too heavy jigsaws and colouring in books as well, however she also has rheumatoid arthritis and intermittent cold hands which can impact her fine motor movements... All that aside mum's planned activities are often now fluid in nature; drawing, reading, tracing, arts and crafts... bloomin' hard to keep up!! I thought at first the thicker markers would be easier to use but she would put them down and at the time concluded it wasn't her thing quickly moving onto something else. It was only after a period of lengthy reflection (pulling my hair out) that I revisited this, so easy to relegate something to the dustbin and then just forget about it as you seek ready answers.

I totally get what you say about Pauline, there's stuff mum will do at home that she won't even consider when we're travelling and vice versa. With mum she's so routine oriented, home based activities are home based full stop! Outside activities exactly the same regardless of my countless attempts to encourage otherwise. Just another nuance of her journey which I've come to accept ;)
One of the men in a Dementia group we attend has what I think of as ‘stilted‘ mobility and movement but he used to be an artist when younger. To watch him colour in the most intricate of patterns using the fine point colouring pens is totally amazing.
 

Eddcorner

Registered User
Aug 27, 2020
1,693
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One of the men in a Dementia group we attend has what I think of as ‘stilted‘ mobility and movement but he used to be an artist when younger. To watch him colour in the most intricate of patterns using the fine point colouring pens is totally amazing.
Those glimpses and echoes that we see always strengthen my resolve. An amazing moment as you say, inspires me to work even harder with mum!
 

Eddcorner

Registered User
Aug 27, 2020
1,693
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Well officially spent up (COL payment) as final two Amazon deliveries arrived just now - exercise balls for mum's hands (×4) soft to firm and foot spa. Really pleased with purchases, if I had visited a 'dementia shopping site' monies wouldn't have lasted two minutes. Clothes are a winner, activity stuff too as well as the medical equipment... hmm, feeling mightily organised plus I enjoy spending pennies on mum. Very tight normally with energy bills and all the other ones rising too, food especially after switching her to new diet early New Year - the price of cod fillets alone is a big dent in the budget. But only the best for mum, now if I can only convince her to agree to a hairdresser visiting..? She's always and I mean ALWAYS cut her own hair up until the onset of our dementia journey together, consequently I've been doing it for the past 7 or 8 years. Have done a fairly decent job (YouTube tutorials) but too much length on top now; mum was very brutal with the scissors herself and would 'trim' very close, me? Just not brave enough!! Got a contact number from one of her close friends who asked around on our behalf so fingers crossed eh? 💇‍♀️
 

Chizz

Registered User
Jan 10, 2023
3,786
0
Kent
Good luck @Eddcorner
We had a hairdresser call at home when needed by prior appointment - lady is a friend of and recommended by our daughter - and did cut and colour - and very satisfactory.
Now OH's Alz's has advanced, she wouldn't be able to stay still long enough, and so hairdresser doesn't want to know.
I bought an inflatable bowl with gap for neck (and plug underneath for draining), so whilst OH is lying flat in bed, we surround OH with towels, then put her neck into the gap so that her head is over the bowl before putting in warm water for a hair wash, using a plastic cup to pour water over her hair. So far it has worked, but better with two persons on hand - one to wash/shampoo and condition and one to distract OH from moving and for holding her hands. After drying with towels (as she finds the hair dryer too noisy and hot - even on its lowest setting) I have a go at the cutting, if necessary. As it is better as a two person operation, I wait until our daughter comes to stay for a weekend.
(Because of the lock down, back in 2020, I bought a barber's razor, and I do my own hair now, once a month, and I'm still recognisable.)
Amazing what one can turn one's hand to when pressed!
 

Neveradullday!

Registered User
Oct 12, 2022
3,462
0
England
Those Youtube tutorials are excellent. I'm now a dab hand at a one length bob (easy to do).
I've got clippers and do my own hair too - normally no 6 on top, then gradually down to no 1 or 0 at the base of the back.

Since lockdown there's lots of self cutting videos.
 

Eddcorner

Registered User
Aug 27, 2020
1,693
0
Good luck @Eddcorner
We had a hairdresser call at home when needed by prior appointment - lady is a friend of and recommended by our daughter - and did cut and colour - and very satisfactory.
Now OH's Alz's has advanced, she wouldn't be able to stay still long enough, and so hairdresser doesn't want to know.
I bought an inflatable bowl with gap for neck (and plug underneath for draining), so whilst OH is lying flat in bed, we surround OH with towels, then put her neck into the gap so that her head is over the bowl before putting in warm water for a hair wash, using a plastic cup to pour water over her hair. So far it has worked, but better with two persons on hand - one to wash/shampoo and condition and one to distract OH from moving and for holding her hands. After drying with towels (as she finds the hair dryer too noisy and hot - even on its lowest setting) I have a go at the cutting, if necessary. As it is better as a two person operation, I wait until our daughter comes to stay for a weekend.
(Because of the lock down, back in 2020, I bought a barber's razor, and I do my own hair now, once a month, and I'm still recognisable.)
Amazing what one can turn one's hand to when pressed!
Genius @Chizz, pure genius! We do learn to be more creative don't we? I wash mum's her once a week (or on a needs basis) with baby shampoo and towel it dry. Mum was not very cooperative at the outset but once it became part of our routine she was much more amenable. Mum's not had her hair cut professionally since she was fifteen when a hairdresser performed a really bad perm which led to eczema, been very self-conscious since although there's very little evidence of the condition now. I had long hair in my twenties (metal head) but short since my thirties; Covid and the length of time it would take at a barbers now mum's in the later stages means I've now got shoulder length hair again haha! Couldn't use dubbers, again not brave enough! Kudos my friend 👏
 

Eddcorner

Registered User
Aug 27, 2020
1,693
0
Those Youtube tutorials are excellent. I'm now a dab hand at a one length bob (easy to do).
I've got clippers and do my own hair too - normally no 6 on top, then gradually down to no 1 or 0 at the base of the back.

Since lockdown there's lots of self cutting videos.
@Neveradullday! You'll have to give me some more tips!! YouTube for mum yes but me..? Yikes! Oh I've pierced my own nose and ears in my twenties, even did DIY tattoos but hair? Total scaredy cat 🙀
 

Neveradullday!

Registered User
Oct 12, 2022
3,462
0
England
@Eddcorner , your shoulder length hair is a throwback to your metal days, if it ain't broke don't fix it.
As I said, if you do want it short there are good YouTube channels - search for 'The One Minute Barber' (really friendly Scotsman) or Alex Kouras (American guy).

Start off cutting off less than you want - take it slowly. If a disaster happens, you can always shave it all off and grow a goatee (middle aged metal look?).
I was always a Mod so short hair's always been my choice.

Please remember, if it all goes horribly wrong - DON'T BLAME ME.
 

Chizz

Registered User
Jan 10, 2023
3,786
0
Kent
Hi @Neveradullday! - I like the disclaimer!

Just as well PWD can't always find the right words to complain about the new hair look, whether intended or not.
I do tell my OH that she can complain to the management, She doesn't really understand that now.

Once in a while there can be a bittersweet moment. When son no.1 last called, my OH looked at him and said "I like your hair" to which he rightly replied "Thanks". She then looked at me and said "You've shaved off your moustache!" And I have (about twenty years ago).
 

Eddcorner

Registered User
Aug 27, 2020
1,693
0
@Eddcorner , your shoulder length hair is a throwback to your metal days, if it ain't broke don't fix it.
As I said, if you do want it short there are good YouTube channels - search for 'The One Minute Barber' (really friendly Scotsman) or Alex Kouras (American guy).

Start off cutting off less than you want - take it slowly. If a disaster happens, you can always shave it all off and grow a goatee (middle aged metal look?).
I was always a Mod so short hair's always been my choice.

Please remember, if it all goes horribly wrong - DON'T BLAME ME.
Just not quite as full as I remember, forgotten how to maintain it so just tied back most of the time. Also growing a beard now, umpteenth attempt - filling out a bit but very soft haha! Look like a poor Kurt Cobain look-alike (was one of my heroes), was pretty close in my twenties but now?

A mod eh? Very snappy dressers and loved the style @Neveradullday! :)
 

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