It is really interesting to read everyone's personal views, personal care is clearly a very emotive subject.
Day by day
- Thread starter SeaSwallow
- Start date
My dad is doubly incontinent. He also lives alone and is bed bound. I thought it might be awkward when cleaning him up but other than him moaning it's been fine.Im here 7 days a week.He also has carers 2x a day. I wasn't that close to dad when I was younger. He is not the easiest person shall I say. But I started nursing when I was 18 years old so maybe at 58 im just used to it.
I have been following your posts and am full of admiration for the way in which you cope.
These posts very much reflect how incontinence - like the pads - is not a 'one size fits all' thing!
Beings able to manage it at home depends on so many things: the nature of the person you are looking after, how far into dementia they are, whether they are compliant or in denial, your nature and your relationship with the person, even such things as how big/heavy/mobile they are.
I couldn't do it - the very idea filled me with horror. Interestingly, I recall mum telling me (pre-dementia - just!) that if she ever reachedd the stage where she couldn't wipe her own backside, that was it for her and she'd take her stash of pills. Of course, it never works out that way, as we know, and sadly she did reach that stage, all memory of the pills long forgotten.
I find it very humbling to read accounts of those who are managing inco care for their loved one. I think you are all amazing.
Beings able to manage it at home depends on so many things: the nature of the person you are looking after, how far into dementia they are, whether they are compliant or in denial, your nature and your relationship with the person, even such things as how big/heavy/mobile they are.
I couldn't do it - the very idea filled me with horror. Interestingly, I recall mum telling me (pre-dementia - just!) that if she ever reachedd the stage where she couldn't wipe her own backside, that was it for her and she'd take her stash of pills. Of course, it never works out that way, as we know, and sadly she did reach that stage, all memory of the pills long forgotten.
I find it very humbling to read accounts of those who are managing inco care for their loved one. I think you are all amazing.
Sometimes little things happen to make us smile. We are having the bathroom and the kitchen painted. I was in the living room when the painter came in concerned that hubby had gone out in the pouring rain.
I knew immediately what was wrong, hubby needed a pee and did not want to disturb the painter!!
Hubby was soaked because of the rain and had to change his PJs and had been worrying that hubby was going for a wander.
Oh the joys of dementia.
I knew immediately what was wrong, hubby needed a pee and did not want to disturb the painter!!
Hubby was soaked because of the rain and had to change his PJs and had been worrying that hubby was going for a wander.
Oh the joys of dementia.
Thank you SeaSallow for your day to day acount of living with a husband with dementia. Mine was told three months ago that he has Vascular Dementia, I now realise it has been going on and getting worse for years but GP's would not accept it until we changed GP's when we moved house
Welcome to Talking Point @Msolo . I am pleased that you found it useful. It might help you to start your own thread where you can ask questions or even just vent if things get too much for you. This forum has helped me so much over the last year or so. Everyone is so helpful and friendly, and never judgemental.
Just a rant otherwise I will scream at hubby. I have been trying for over two hours to get him to go for his shower but he would rather watch #%^* YouTube. Now he has finally gone and by the time he has finished will be exhausted. This is most nights, and it is really getting to me. Just added to today’s constant - what month is it, you never told me (whatever he has forgotten) and where were you after I came back from doctor’s surgery.
And I just feel so resentful that there is so little fun and enjoyment in my life.
So, tomorrow is a new day and I will try to be more positive.
And I just feel so resentful that there is so little fun and enjoyment in my life.
So, tomorrow is a new day and I will try to be more positive.
Thank you @Izzy I did end up getting cross with him, by the time he had his shower he hadn’t the energy to dress himself. So another promise to have an early shower which I know will be broken.
Hopefully today will be better as I feel rubbish after flu and Covid jabs. Very little sleep last night.
Hubby was very sleepy for most of the day and then mid afternoon he had one of his awful nightmares, kicking out and screaming. I woke him up and he was very confused. Then he asked where his mum was, when he realised what he had said he was so upset. Asked what he had done to deserve dementia.
All I could do was try to comfort him.
All I could do was try to comfort him.
Just a vent, hubby was so rude tonight that I was tempted to walk out. Just totally ****** off with him tonight.
So sorry to hear this @SeaSwallow There`s only so much patience we can manage in 24 hours.
Are you getting any help yet? It sounds as if you would benefit from a couple of hours to yourself a few times a week. Have you considered applying?
Thank you Sue, I have applied for respite but been told no guarantees because of funding issues. I am sure that tomorrow will be better.
Thank you, if it was not for TP I don’t know what I would do. I have been put forward for three hours respite per week but told that there was no guarantee it would be granted. If not, I think I will have to arrange a paid sitter as at present I just do not have any time away from home.
Today I am not coping but hopefully tomorrow I will be back to what passes for normal. I am going to contact the SW tomorrow as it is a month since she gave me the last update. Thanks again.
So today was a better day than yesterday. I told hubby some of the things he said to me yesterday and of course he could not remember them and then I felt a bit guilty but I was still annoyed this morning. Trouble is it is like being annoyed at a toddler, a waste of energy.
The main thing was that hubby was in better form and even enjoyed a few laughs with me.
Unfortunately he had another ‘confusion’ moment this evening, he went to the loo, and then was not sure where he was to come back to. The strange thing is the way that he then analysed what happened, realising that it was part of the progression of the disease.,
The main thing was that hubby was in better form and even enjoyed a few laughs with me.
Unfortunately he had another ‘confusion’ moment this evening, he went to the loo, and then was not sure where he was to come back to. The strange thing is the way that he then analysed what happened, realising that it was part of the progression of the disease.,
