Dad arrived at funeral parlour yesterday, we asked for it to be a closed coffin. When dad died we were with him for 3 hours after and at approx 5 something stone I don't want to see him in that state and probably looking a funny colour. He went yellowish after he died a week and half ago. So mum and I are sitting there with him in a coffin, and I can just imagine him lying in there and I can't say that I want to. I just hope wherever he is and I don't know if you live on elsewhere or what, but if you do I hope his brain is back to normal. Tomorrow is that last day I can go visit him, as Friday he will turn to ashes and his body will be no longer. Dread the hearse turning up at mums house, makes it seem all the more final which is crazy as he is already dead. Can't get more final!! Don't know why I have wrote this, blabbering on!
A poem for you Red66, it helped me so much and was part of the funeral service for my husband who died in March.
" He is Gone'
You can shed tears that he has gone,
Or you can smile because he lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back,
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see him,
Or you can be full of the love that you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember him and only that he is gone,
Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what he would want,
Smile, open your eyes, love and go on.
Hope it helps a little and tomorrow, though it seems daunting now, it will pass, you will be carried along and at the end of the day, you will think, yes, that was how I wanted it and be proud that you achieved it.