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Dads brother has died

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by crybabe, Sep 20, 2015.

  1. crybabe

    crybabe Registered User

    Nov 28, 2012
    4
    hi all, my first time posting although been a lurker for a few years. My dads brother died last week and my problem is do I tell him. The last time they saw each other was 4years ago at my mums funeral. He was diagnosed 6years ago and has good days and bad days. I am so confused and don't want him getting upset.Im his main carer and do everything for him please could I have some advise thanks
     
  2. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,215
    Merseyside
    Welcome to TP crybabe.
    I'm sorry about your uncle. If you dad never saw or spoke to his brother I wouldn't tell him. I don't see any reason to upset him unnecessarily.
     
  3. Spamar

    Spamar Registered User

    Oct 5, 2013
    6,973
    Suffolk
    Agree with Cat. He will forget very quickly anyway.
     
  4. nannylondon

    nannylondon Registered User

    Apr 7, 2014
    2,476
    London
    I agree with Cat and Spamar if your dad hasn't seen him for ages it would be kinder not to say anything x
     
  5. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    6,968
    Brixham Devon
    I'm also in the 'don't tell him camp'. If your Uncle wasn't part of your Dad's life on a day to day basis I don't see anything good coming out of telling him. While your Dad may not remember the sad news he may just remember the emotions stirred up.

    I know it's in our nature to be honest with our parents so I can understand how difficult this must be for you.

    Take care

    Lyn T XX
     
  6. crybabe

    crybabe Registered User

    Nov 28, 2012
    4
    Thanks for your replies, that was my thoughts not to tell him but wanted some other thoughts and advise ,thanks again
     
  7. hariyaksh

    hariyaksh Registered User

    Aug 26, 2015
    26
    I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I agree with Cat that there is virtually no point in telling him. Either he'll get very upset and it may adversely affect him, or he will be indifferent. So, all in all, both these scenarios are unnecessary and can be easily avoided.
     

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