I had some good news today. Dad had his 3 months CHC funding review and they agreed that he is still eligible for funding, so they will continue to pay dad's care costs.
This is such a relief, ever since he was awarded the funding back in June, I have been worrying about the 3 month review. I was dreading them coming back and saying that the first decision was a mistake and dad was no longer eligible. Thank goodness they didn't, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I can rest now for a while, as the next review will be in 12 months time.
The other bit of good news is that dad's house sale should finally complete this Friday, 9th November. The whole process of selling dad's house has been so stressful and upsetting. Getting rid of years of memories and seeing the house empty has been hard and time consuming. Also it hasn't helped when you have nervous first time buyers, who seem to drag their feet at every turn and then think they can gain access whenever they want. After a full structural survey they tried getting me to accept a much lower offer, which I turned down, I'd already accepted a low offer, well below market value, due to the work required on it. I was thankful at the time that I had the Estate Agents backing with this and the buyers came back and said they still wanted to proceed with the purchase at the original agreed price, the Estate Agent thought they were just trying it on.
Then they started demanding things being removed, like the shed and fitted wardrobes, to which I said 'No' to, but they constantly kept requesting through their Solicitors confirmation the house would be empty by completion (at this point there was only two portable heaters, the cooker and two lamps on timers still in the house) as well as the Shed and wardrobes, which they again tried to get me to remove. I can tell you I have been very close to saying the house was off the market.
After this week, I hope I can finally rest and just concentrate on just visiting dad.
I still can't believe dad has been in care now for almost 7 months. That time has flown by. But it has been quite sad and upsetting to see the progression of dad's Dementia. I am afraid that I am losing more of my dad almost weekly now. I've noticed in the last month or so that he no longer seems to recognise me and he can instantly forget I am there, he also sleeps a lot more when I visit. There is also very little communication between us, I can talk to him, but he doesn't understand and he says nothing back now that makes sense, the carers have also noticed that dad has withdrawn a lot more and is unable to follow any instructions. We are also getting to the stage where he seems to have forgotten how to use cutlery and feed himself.
The only time we see dad make any sense now, is when he suddenly becomes abusive and aggressive, he can say words that would curdle milk. That's when he becomes a totally different person. This usually happens when it comes to personal care, but he can also be very unpredictable he can go from sitting quietly in a chair to full on swearing and aggression. My husband got the brunt of it last week, it was a totally unprovoked attack, he just suddenly started shouting and swearing at him, he tried to hit my husband, but as he couldn't reach him, he spat at him instead. The only way he would calm down was for my husband to leave the room. He did similar with one of the residents a few days earlier but this was because the lady had tried to wake him, thank goodness I was there and a carer witnessed it too and moved the lady away.
I also had a bit of a shock one morning when I went to visit dad and I was told he was still sleeping in his room, this was around 11.15am, they said they had just checked on him 10 minutes ago. When I went to look in on him though, I found him lying on the floor, just in his pj top and pull-up incontinence pants. He looked like he was having a fit as he was shaking and just kept repeating the same incoherent word over and over again. The staff came to help immediately and the nurse checked him over and he was fine. They think he must have got up and fell trying to take his pj bottoms off and he must have been in shock. Worryingly the room sensor hadn't gone off to notify them he had got up, they had just replaced the mat sensors as they were deemed to be a trip hazard! Just a few minutes later, dad was totally fine and none the wiser anything had happened. This was the first time dad had fallen.
Elle x