Apologies for the lengthy post, but I don't know what to do.
After just 9 nine days in a Care Home, the home have called to say they have reached crisis point and they cannot cope with my dad and he needs to leave.
My dad has Advanced Dementia and was living alone in his own home, the Social worker and myself agreed that he was no longer safe to live at home, due to an escalating number of issues; mainly going out at all times of day or night in any weather, waiting for the bank to open, burning his leg on an electric fire, fusing lights by screwing in the wrong bulbs into light fittings. Burning his kettle and releasing toxic fumes in his home, not going to bed, not being able to prepare simple meals (teabags on 2 slices of bread was a sandwich and drinks: cold water with milk in it). Constantly hiding things and believing there are people in his home, not able to recognise his own reflection and thinking the man is spying on him from next door and getting abusive and violent because of it. I could go on.
So I found a care home that dealt specifically with dementia sufferers, it was in the town where he lives and it was only small with 31 residents. A place became available and I took him and he moved in there on Friday 13th April.
On the first Saturday evening he was reported to safeguarding due to an incident with another male resident he got verbally abusive and attempted to get hold of his arm. So he was reported.
Then things settled down apart from him wandering around the home, trying doors and windows trying to get out.
I visited him on Wednesday 18th April, he had no recollection that it was me that took him there, because he kept asking how did I know he was there. He said he liked it and he had made friends, not once did he ask to go home, the only thing he asked to do was to go and get some money.
Saturday 21st April, I visited him again with my husband, again he asked how did I know he was there, did his dad tell me. When I asked him if he was liking living there, he said he had lived here for years and it was good. Later he asked me how my dad was.
Saturday evening around 10.20pm I get a phone call from the home, dad has escaped by climbing out of a window. Now I have had conflicting information that the window lock was faulty, but I've also been told he broke it. They found him about 11.10pm quite a distance from the home, not heading home or to the bank. But their biggest worry is that the home backs onto a canal walk, which is very dark and they were worried he might have headed that way and could potentially have fallen into the canal and drowned. Luckily he hadn't but the risk is there.
I spoke to the home the next morning and he settled fine once he was back in the home.
Sunday 22nd April I get a phone call at 8.15pm dad has his coat on and is trying to get out of the home again and they currently are having to give him one to one attention, can I come down and settle him and be with him, so they can get other residents to bed. So off I go, when I arrive dad greets me saying "oh good she can take me now". I find out he wants to get some money from the bank. (This is his obsession). It took me about 30 mins to convince him there was no money, the bank was shut, it was dark and it was bed time and to take his coat off. He accepts that the home is now where he Iives and he likes it, but still feels the need to get out. I finally left him around 10.15pm happy to get ready for bed.
This morning, I got a call from the manager of the home, she said due to the issues over the weekend they feel they cannot give dad the one to one support that he needs and they have reached crisis point and want him removed. She said she had spoken to the Social worker and I have to call her.
I have spoken to the Social worker and she is at a loss for what to do. I have said dad cannot return to his home, that is not an option. She has gone away to seek advice and hopefully a solution.
This is a nightmare.
Elle x
After just 9 nine days in a Care Home, the home have called to say they have reached crisis point and they cannot cope with my dad and he needs to leave.
My dad has Advanced Dementia and was living alone in his own home, the Social worker and myself agreed that he was no longer safe to live at home, due to an escalating number of issues; mainly going out at all times of day or night in any weather, waiting for the bank to open, burning his leg on an electric fire, fusing lights by screwing in the wrong bulbs into light fittings. Burning his kettle and releasing toxic fumes in his home, not going to bed, not being able to prepare simple meals (teabags on 2 slices of bread was a sandwich and drinks: cold water with milk in it). Constantly hiding things and believing there are people in his home, not able to recognise his own reflection and thinking the man is spying on him from next door and getting abusive and violent because of it. I could go on.
So I found a care home that dealt specifically with dementia sufferers, it was in the town where he lives and it was only small with 31 residents. A place became available and I took him and he moved in there on Friday 13th April.
On the first Saturday evening he was reported to safeguarding due to an incident with another male resident he got verbally abusive and attempted to get hold of his arm. So he was reported.
Then things settled down apart from him wandering around the home, trying doors and windows trying to get out.
I visited him on Wednesday 18th April, he had no recollection that it was me that took him there, because he kept asking how did I know he was there. He said he liked it and he had made friends, not once did he ask to go home, the only thing he asked to do was to go and get some money.
Saturday 21st April, I visited him again with my husband, again he asked how did I know he was there, did his dad tell me. When I asked him if he was liking living there, he said he had lived here for years and it was good. Later he asked me how my dad was.
Saturday evening around 10.20pm I get a phone call from the home, dad has escaped by climbing out of a window. Now I have had conflicting information that the window lock was faulty, but I've also been told he broke it. They found him about 11.10pm quite a distance from the home, not heading home or to the bank. But their biggest worry is that the home backs onto a canal walk, which is very dark and they were worried he might have headed that way and could potentially have fallen into the canal and drowned. Luckily he hadn't but the risk is there.
I spoke to the home the next morning and he settled fine once he was back in the home.
Sunday 22nd April I get a phone call at 8.15pm dad has his coat on and is trying to get out of the home again and they currently are having to give him one to one attention, can I come down and settle him and be with him, so they can get other residents to bed. So off I go, when I arrive dad greets me saying "oh good she can take me now". I find out he wants to get some money from the bank. (This is his obsession). It took me about 30 mins to convince him there was no money, the bank was shut, it was dark and it was bed time and to take his coat off. He accepts that the home is now where he Iives and he likes it, but still feels the need to get out. I finally left him around 10.15pm happy to get ready for bed.
This morning, I got a call from the manager of the home, she said due to the issues over the weekend they feel they cannot give dad the one to one support that he needs and they have reached crisis point and want him removed. She said she had spoken to the Social worker and I have to call her.
I have spoken to the Social worker and she is at a loss for what to do. I have said dad cannot return to his home, that is not an option. She has gone away to seek advice and hopefully a solution.
This is a nightmare.
Elle x
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