Conversations have gone and been replaced by...

[caring fromafar]

"And I said well we went to places and erm I said
I just don’t want to count all the time
And she said it, she said you know the past and things
I mean I did and I put it all in
She said that’s lovely well I don’t want to fancy with it but I’d like to keep it
And you’ve got to write up to the place
She was saying that she’s already got it at the place and she’s looking forward to the place
If it was too messy I don’t know and she’s good and she’s just been watching her place but she’s alright isn’t she and she’s been up to milers road and yeah.
We’re just going to get some kind of place and I don’t know we’re going to get some kind of hand up and a noop.
I’ll leave these two and you can write the rest because that’s what they’re doing you know.
John’s good. Canny good aren’t you? You’d better tell them.
You can’t get them.
You know we’ve had no trouble
A she thing coming out.
But it’s just different, oh god theres a thing coming out. It’s at the place and its right out but I don’t know them I just talked to them.
I just put my hand up and I’m just ticking that there now and she said well actually that’s what I wanted.
We’ve got these places that are other places that we like to watch so she just watches them but they’re not, we’re not,
Right in Jarrow and they have a job. Click. It’s on offer but I can’t see it on the place where we ticked/
And their place we watched them but she’s getting it away. Sehs got it. And I thought there terrible but they’re aren’t. well they are.
You’ve got your moved now haven’t you? Oh yes they’re lovely.
Got 91 now and I needed to get that.
They held that and it’s all straight away and if they wanted to go its all in there and if they didn’t want to know it you know.
That’s the place that she goes to, you know where your mam goes. I don’t know but I can see it, she says its good in the place.
Things in the place and that’s where they get it all checked over. I think she does it’s all there and then the next things she’d like to get in, you know to the place. That’s what she’s told her, she’s got a place and she’s got her own place.
Get these lights and we’ll get the boys and everything.
In the place, it’s good it’s alright. In fact it is good and you can go in its good."


This is a short part of last night's phone call with my mum. The rest of the call was more of the same. My only contributions are "Yes" "Good" "Right" etc. If I ask her a question she would give an answer along the same lines.

I have read a lot of threads on here where language goes but haven't heard anyone experience something like the above.

I would love to know what may be the next step.

Thanks

 

[Chemmy]

You put her on speakerphone and take up knitting?

There's a lady in Mum's CH who conducts a similar sort of dialogue between herself and an imaginary friend.....and it's constant whenever she's awake. It's very wearing being in the same room as her.

My mum was the opposite. I think I last phoned her back in 2004 as she would only stay on the phone to say very curtly, yes, I'm fine, before slamming it down on me.

 

[caring fromafar]

Chemmy - yes, almost -I sit and listen to her, giving my dad a break, and I play games on the laptop!

 

[chucky]

Yes, my dad does this too. Its a jumbled rabble at best, i do the same as you i just nod and make yes, no, answers and hope im saying what he wants to hear. His speech is almost gone but he can swear perfectly!!

 

[ChristineR62]

Mum does the same - she uses sensible words in a totally nonsensical way. I tend to put on a "Yes, I'm listening" expression, and nod and agree at appropriate times. She's happy and reassured, and I don't have to tie my brain in knots trying to figure out what she means, which is what I used to do.

 

[nicoise]

Your post brought it all back to me, Caringfromafar; my mum had become like that on the muddled days; on the better days/hours it was all fine.

I have a friend who had a catastrophic stroke which, amongst other issues, damaged his language centres in his brain.

He could seemingly understand what you said to him, but his only vocabulary was the word "ever" with an odd yes or no thrown in. When he replied, it was with all the cadence and nuances of an appropriate response but all the sentences consisted of was "ever ever ever ever...."

So very odd one sided conversations where you hoped you responded appropriately to whatever he might have been thinking he was saying to you (but didn't realise himself that the words weren't what he thought they were).

The brain is a mystery... sometimes I think the only peace comes when you stop trying to understand it and just run with it.

 

[Butter]

this is reminiscent of James Joyce's stream of consciousness fiction which I have always found nearly impenetrable. But I will write down a chunk of what my mother says and I think it will be similar.

 

[Clementine]

That is an amazing transcript of a conversation with your Mum, a conversation I could have had a year ago with our Mum.
Now it's different, every visit there is a topic, money, looks, not enough to eat and it is usually frought with worry and it's always the same sentences.
What amazes me most, that once a caring lady, she has no compassion at all now. I could say to her: "Your son has been eaten by a Tiger last night." and she would not blink an eyelid! I can talk about Dad, who died 15 years ago and her favourite sister which has always brought on tears, now she says she remembers them but no tears or welling up of eyes. So Dementia/Alzheimer has also good sides?

 

[Onlyme]

Yes, I have had that conversation prompted by as you might say, if you see what I mean, we all thought that, well now etc.

The best one was last week when I went to see her and got a smile. She said she knew I was coming because of my coat.

 

[sussexsue]

Another who is having totally surreal conversations with my mum. The words just arent there, and some of the substitutes are very odd. However the strangest was one day this week where every sentence was:

"Regan is lovely".

Regan is my daughters name. However although those were the words I knew that wasnt what she was trying to say. She would point to things and ask "Regan is lovely", or point to her bed (the true love of her life) and say "Regan is lovely". Even when I said I was going and kissed her good bye, she smiled and said "Regan is lovely".

It is very upsetting as often she is asking questions but with so few words that I just cannot hlep her.

 

[2jays]

In a strange way I can get an understanding of that conversation, and what she was telling you, - it seems to me she is telling you - all in one go - what has happened to her - and her feelings about it - I know I wouldn't understand if I was listening to it on the phone or face to face first hand - I think it's because it's been written down - but who knows if I am right??

I don't have this experience with my mum and can understand that I too would be in loops trying to work out what she was talking to me about.


Such a strange disease.

 

[angelface]

My aunt has a lot of conversations that I can't understand, until I realised they were to do with the stories of the DVDs she watches. Could any of this be simular?
G

 

[Helen33]

Dear Caringfromafar,

My late husband had a frontotemperal lobe dementia and he lost intelligible speech and language. He could speak just like your mum.

I decided from very early on that because Alan knew what he was talking about (although no one else did) the most important thing was to help him to feel good about himself. This meant that all the carers that came to our house had to take an active interest in what he was saying even though they couldn't understand. They could listen and show a real interest by giving eye contact. No changing subject and yawning or looking away or looking bored. The Speech and Language therapist helped a lot because she was able to point out things which helped me to understand what he was trying to say some of the time.

Because I had plenty of Crossroads Care sitters coming in, it was easier for the sitters to give this kind of attention. It would not be possible for one person to give this level 24/7.

Love

 

[caring fromafar]

It is good to know that we aren't the only ones listening to this kind of thing.

I used to be able to understand some of what she was trying to say but I can no longer do so.
However, it is occasionally punctuated by
"Two for £5" when she is reading me the junk mail which she won't allow my dad to throw out
or
"Tonight at 9pm" when she is reading the text off the TV to me.

She may not be able to converse with words but she can still play the piano by memory! She can no longer read music.

STRANGE disease

 

[dillydaydream]

It could be my Mum talking! Perfect words in a nonsensical order. All I say is "Well I never" and "Fancy that" and other exclamations of surprise over and over again unless of course people are trying to kill her in which case we try another tack! I suppose we must rejoice that they're still talking ...

 

[Charlotte101]

OMG, you sure you weren't talking to my Nan. She now lives with me, and at the beginning, OH and I were trying to work out what she was trying to tell us. Although, when she walks up to me and starts talking quietly, it is because she needs to toilet and is trying to as me for help. But that is the only time I know what she wants, all the rest of the time it is a guessing game of what she is trying to ask. For just usual conversation, we just tend to agree with whatever she says.

Although she does start putting my mum on the spot, when she starts asking her to take her home with her, as I've moved my boyfriend and we don't want her there any more. Good job my mum know what is really happening. In fact this awful boyfriend has just taken her out to Tesco.

 

[Helen33]

Hi again,

She may not be able to converse with words but she can still play the piano by memory! She can no longer read music.

Alan carried on playing his guitar and singing although he lost the ability to read music. He also played the harmonica right up to near the end of his life. I have just been trying to find photographs but I only have video recordings. They were wonderful to see again - so thank you for this opportunity. Wish I could post one of them playing his guitar and singing or the one I found of him singing to one of his toy dogs. I don't know how to post them on here??

Love

 

[Helen33]

I'm so excited because I found an old thread of mine with a link to Alan playing and singing. You will note that his words are most not intelligible. Once you click on the link a picassa little square will show - click on it and you will be able to view. I've also found one of Alan talking to his toy dog which is the second link.

http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/show...haring-this-one&highlight=Alan+playing+guitar

http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/showthread.php?19784-Alan-with-his-dog&highlight=aLAN+SINGING+DOG

Love

 

[Witzend]

There's a lady in my mother's CH who's at the sort of halfway stage - each few words make sense but you can't work out the whole at all.
In fact it can be quite funny to listen to since she's extremely rude about whoever/whatever it is - quite a tiny little thing but exceedingly feisty.

She wanders around going on and on about, 'That effing b*astard, did you see him? I know what she wants, they sold the car - she's after money again - I know her sort - d'you know what that effing b*gger's been up to - he'll be here in a minute - them b*ggers think I don't know what they're doing - I said to her, I said, you can just b*gger off, she wanted a cup of tea, well, I wasn't having that, not after that effing b*gger and the car..' and so on.
You get this for 5 minutes - I say, 'Gosh, really?' and 'That's awful!'; and 'That's right, you tell them!'; and so on, which seems to satisfy her before she goes off to regale someone else.

Thing is, I'm absolutely dying to know exactly what all the effing b*ggers have done!
Most frustrating.

 

[Butter]

are you sure it isn't my mother? ..... well actually it isn't because her language is much fruitier than that .... and her fists follow ...