My dad is currently in a local care home to give my mum a break for two weeks. He is only 71 and otherwise fit and active meaning he is still strong. My mum does have problems at home with personal care, but manages to keep him spotless, even though he is very resistant and exhibits verbal and sometimes physical aggression and it can take her up to 2 plus hours so it is really hard work. Well my god the care home staff are not coping well with this, they have tried sedation to try to change soiled clothes and in one week he has not been shaved and been showered twice. Today we visited, he stunk, left in soiled pad, wet trousers looked like he has aged 10 years in a week so obviously very unhappy there. The staff say they have tried everything but he will not accept any help, lashes out and gets very aggressive. My mum and myself had to do it today, we couldn't leave him in the mess it took all afternoon trying to get his clothes off. He is going to be subject to DOLs now. He will present a challenge to anyone trying to clean him, totally resistant, punching, refusing. He was in such a bad way, mum wanted to bring him home there and then, but she so needs a break, the stress makes her physically ill. What can we do? We are at the point we think he may need a more permanent solution, but what alternatives are there? Feeling very worried and devastated right now. Anyone had similar? Carrying on caring at home, look for a better care home. He has deteriorated so much in a week it's unbelievable. Help!!