Caring & memory obsession

[JVanilla]

Hi everyone,

It's been really helpful for me to come to this forum and read that I'm not alone as a younger carer.

I'm 35 and my Gran (95) and has had Alzheimers for about 10 years. My mum (67) was also diagnosed with Alzheimers at the beginning of this year. The process of getting mum's diagnosis felt really slow and frustrating for me, as she has also experienced depression and anxiety all her life, and the GP blamed this on her symptoms for a long time. I could tell this wasn't the same, so felt I was constantly battling to get the medical attention she needed.

I've taken over the coordination of Gran's care (and her power of attorney) since mum's memory has declined. I also help my mum out with her finances (I'm also poa for her, though I don't use it atm), and am trying to be there to support her and her husband as much as possible. Gran lives an hour away from me, Mum is three hours away. Needless to say it all feels really stressful. I'm really conscious of my own mental health in all this, and have made lots of efforts to reduce other stress in my life where possible. I relate to a lot that has been shared in the thread for carers in our 30s!

The part of all of this that I'm finding the most difficult just now, is that I am becoming paranoid about the state of my own memory and brain health. I find myself panicking when I forget things, or mislay things in the house. Rationally, I don't think my memory is any worse than it's ever been - especially when I take into account everything that I am juggling - but I can't escape this fear that I am getting / will get Alzheimers too. I've done alot of reading about brain health and am doing my best to follow the advice given, but I don't want this to take over my life, as well as my caring roles. I'm just wondering if this is something other carers worry about, or if anyone has any tips for how I can let this worry go?

Thankyou
J

 

[Raest]

Given that your mum and your gran have dementia, it is understandable that you are worried about your own memory. My husband was diagnosed at 56 and his first issues were speech not memory and younger people is usually another symptom first before memory but not always. You may be exhausted looking after your family members and anaemia can affect memory

 

[try again]

I think all of us that have looked after a person with dementia fear it . Every time I have to stretch for a word or name a little panic pushes in from the back of my mind. I see repetition in my sister and fear changes in my partner's behaviour and wonder at both .

There is a genetic aspect to it, I have one of the genetic mutations. Current thinking is lifestyle is far more significant than genetics

 

[JVanilla]

Given that your mum and your gran have dementia, it is understandable that you are worried about your own memory. My husband was diagnosed at 56 and his first issues were speech not memory and younger people is usually another symptom first before memory but not always. You may be exhausted looking after your family members and anaemia can affect memory

Thankyou Raest, yes, I suspect you're right that stress has alot to do with it!

 

[JVanilla]

I think all of us that have looked after a person with dementia fear it . Every time I have to stretch for a word or name a little panic pushes in from the back of my mind. I see repetition in my sister and fear changes in my partner's behaviour and wonder at both .

There is a genetic aspect to it, I have one of the genetic mutations. Current thinking is lifestyle is far more significant than genetics

Thanks for sharing, it's good to hear that I'm not alone in these fears. I'm sorry that you find yourself worrying about your other family members too. It takes effort to put these unhelpful thoughts aside! I've also read alot about lifestyle preventative factors and that is motivational atleast!