Care Home Worries

[Sirena]

Thank you for updating, it's good to hear your mum has settled well. My mother went into a care home 7 years ago and to begin with was of course unsettled. But after about a month she started to enjoy it - there was always someone nearby to cater for her every need! It feels such a hard decision to move your loved one to a care home, but it really can work out for the best. 7 years later my mother is still there, very late stage now but in a familiar environment with staff who know her well.

 

[Jake's Nan]

Lovely update. My brother was moved to a care home a week ago after being sectioned under MHA, he spent 6 weeks in an assessment unit. He's only just 61 yrs old but after such a huge dip and decline we had no choice. So far things are going ok, although he had an unwitnessed fall the first morning there but was checked out at hospital all ok.

 

[Kdickson3012]

Hi all,

I haven't posted on here since Nov 23, I guess because I've been spending all my time trying to deal with Mum and her illness.

My mum was diagnosed with early onset dementia in November 2022, and she is now 64 years old. She has rapidly declined since Christmas. Yesterday we moved her into a care home initially for 2 weeks respite to see how she adapts. If she settles, she will stay. The home is in a lovely setting and has lovely staff. She currently lives alone and cannot manage basic tasks (such as showering, washing clothes, feeding herself) anymore. She also has 2 large German Shepherd dogs which she hadn't I don't think taken for a walk for weeks. They are now in a trusted boarding kennels so they are safe and getting what they need. I have even had to lie to her about that and say that they are at my house, when they are not .

I am feeling such a large amount of guilt. I am only 27, but I feel like I am letting her down. Everyone I have spoken to or sought advice from has said it is the best thing to do, but I can't help but feel so guilty and it's eating me up inside. I called the home earlier to see how she was getting on (she was unsettled when we left her there yesterday and didn't want to stay there without us). They want to move her up a floor for safety reasons as she is pacing the whole floor (they put her on the ground floor which is the nursing floor initially as there were rooms free there) and she managed to follow someone into a life and make her way to reception on her own. The thought of her wandering around on her own is absolutely breaking my heart.

I know she only moved in yesterday and I need to give it chance. Has anyone else had to do this (we didn't get home carers first as we feel she needs 24/7 care now). Everyone I have spoken to at the home have said that she needs care and we are doing the right thing. She is just too young for this she has always been fit and healthy

Has anyone else had to do this and did your loved one settle eventually? I just want her to settle and be happy there

Thanks in advance everyone x

Feel like I have wrote this. My mum is 57 and just about to view homes for her I feel guilty, awful worried all emotions. So thanks for not making me feel alone xxx

 

[Jake's Nan]

Feel like I have wrote this. My mum is 57 and just about to view homes for her I feel guilty, awful worried all emotions. So thanks for not making me feel alone xxx

Never feel alone, it's really hard choosing a care home. We only looked at 2, not that many options really as we found some didn't take anyone under the age of ,65. Location was vital didn't want to be travelling miles to visit. So far with my brother after 6 weeks it's going well.