My 89 year old mum, who has vascular dementia, has been on the cusp of managing at home versus being in need of residential care for 2 years now. She lives 1.5 hours away from me, I visit twice a week and either myself or my husband now remains at home to be available telephonically. We have tried carers four times now and it hasn't worked because they disrupt Mum's incredibly rigid/ fixed routine.
Today, I've been informed that, for the first time in over a year, a place has become available for my Mum, at the care home of choice - small, privately run residential home with excellent ratings only 3.5 miles away from where I live.
On one hand I am absolutely delighted but simply don't know how to address the issue with Mum. Having recently been treated for another rip roaring UTI she is currently on an "Up" phase - changing her own clothes, taking her medication, remaining hydrated etc. I know that this won't last for much longer before we have another crisis but it makes it more challenging when looking at residential care because, at the moment, she's so much less impaired and probably won't fall for one of the "loving lies".
I had originally planned on being honest and telling her that, as we had discussed, she was coming to stay closer to us so that I could see her every day and this was the lovely home that we had looked at and agreed upon before. Unfortunately, when I half broached the subject of residential care again last week, we had tears, tantrums, threats of suicide and she was so distressed that it was heartbreaking.
For those of you who have some experience in this, do you have any suggestions of how best to deal with it?
Today, I've been informed that, for the first time in over a year, a place has become available for my Mum, at the care home of choice - small, privately run residential home with excellent ratings only 3.5 miles away from where I live.
On one hand I am absolutely delighted but simply don't know how to address the issue with Mum. Having recently been treated for another rip roaring UTI she is currently on an "Up" phase - changing her own clothes, taking her medication, remaining hydrated etc. I know that this won't last for much longer before we have another crisis but it makes it more challenging when looking at residential care because, at the moment, she's so much less impaired and probably won't fall for one of the "loving lies".
I had originally planned on being honest and telling her that, as we had discussed, she was coming to stay closer to us so that I could see her every day and this was the lovely home that we had looked at and agreed upon before. Unfortunately, when I half broached the subject of residential care again last week, we had tears, tantrums, threats of suicide and she was so distressed that it was heartbreaking.
For those of you who have some experience in this, do you have any suggestions of how best to deal with it?