Can I ... Should I?

[Margi29]

Lol. I tried, but after less than 5 minutes, I was up again. The “lovely” neighbour disturbed Pooch & therefore me :-(

Brother has just left, Mum slept through his visit :-(

Just a thought, I have one of those pump action water guns, belongs to grandson. They have them in most supermarkets. Next time she pops round I would consider watering your plants at that point then apologise profusely saying your aim at plants is not the best

 

[Sam Luvit]

Oooh don’t give me ideas @Margi29 I might just act on them

You know the sayings:what goes around comes around / Karma / God pays his debts but not with money, well ... Mr Bully Neughbour has had his car clamped for not having taxed it It wasn’t me, but several neighbours were delighted, myself included

 

[Margi29]

Oooh don’t give me ideas @Margi29 I might just act on them

You know the sayings:what goes around comes around / Karma / God pays his debts but not with money, well ... Mr Bully Neughbour has had his car clamped for not having taxed it It wasn’t me, but several neighbours were delighted, myself included

Oops silly man

 

[Sam Luvit]

I woke Mum about half an hour before the Carer was due, who then turned up 25 minutes early Poor Mum was really upset she’d missed seeing brother. She then started tearing up Saying she needed to talk to both of us.

The Carer said Mum was very upset, saying she needed to talk to her son. When I asked Mum, she said “I can’t tell you. I need to tell you both”

We’ve sat holding hands, Mum calmed down, then wanted a G&T, so I gave her one. Just a small one, but she loved it, kept saying how nice it was. I figure she can have what she wants, it’s not like it can do her much harm now. I want her to have what little pleasure she can. I’d far rather she had 5 days of being happy than 5 weeks of being miserable

She’s now talking about seeing a priest, she doesn’t know the new one as he’s just joined & the old one has moved on. She’s worried about being able to link her fingers with the cast on. She’s tried talking to dad, but he won’t listen.

She alternated between very determined to tell me things, which she then couldn’t remember & fading off into a thousand yard stare. I just kept holding her hand.

I’m to look after my brother & Pooch & I’m not to be sad when she’s gone. I’m also to take @Margi29 on holiday , not sure how her husband will take that suggestion I’m also to go round the world visiting friends with big brother. She’s planned a busy year for me

Mums now tucked up in bed fast asleep.

 

[Sam Luvit]

Oops silly man

Couldn’t have happened to a nicer man

 

[Margi29]

Way to go @Sam Luvit mum
Yes I'll force myself to go on holiday lol, as if I ever need much encouragement

If or when I'm on my last part of my life I hope someone is as good as you comes and supplies me with loads of gin and tonic. It won't harm your mum, may even make her a little more settled x

Ps at the moment supermarket is doing good deals on freezer foods, so oh could always stock up
While we escape

 

[Sam Luvit]

Thank you for possibly forcing yourself on holiday with me @Margi29

Mum fancied a G&T & I thought, why not. It was a very short measure, but it made her smile. I’ll happily talk about dad, like he’s still here, I don’t question her when she tells me she’s been talking to him. I just go with it, brother looks awkward lol

 

[Margi29]

Thank you for possibly forcing yourself on holiday with me @Margi29

Mum fancied a G&T & I thought, why not. It was a very short measure, but it made her smile. I’ll happily talk about dad, like he’s still here, I don’t question her when she tells me she’s been talking to him. I just go with it, brother looks awkward lol

My brother used to look awkward too

It took quite a while for advice I gave him to finally sink in.

He used to argue, shout, give her alcohol ( which made her worse with her medication) telling her nastily dad's dead

It's took a while but I think that he has a little more sense regarding mum.

His little sister has also given him the warning, that it's a high probability at least one out of the three of us will eventually get the same disease, due to both parents having it, ' so be good ' I said to him , because karma is a
$* tch

 

[Sam Luvit]

On my, that bed alarm is loud , but it sure wakes me up ... well, it gets me up anyway Just Mum getting up for the loo, I’m on my second coffee, she’s having a shower & I'm waiting for my brain to catch me up ... it might take a while.

 

[Sam Luvit]

Morning @Margi29 & what a glorious one it is. I’ve taken my sleepy brain out in the sunshine with caffeine to wake me up.

My brother hasn’t shouted, but he did argue very logically with Mum. I told him to pin his ears back & listen. There is no arguing with dementia. Give him his due, he’s accepted what I tell him & follows my lead.

 

[canary]

Hi Sam - I wasnt around yesterday and there seems to be a lot that has happened.
Still listening, still supporting you.
xxx

 

[Sam Luvit]

Morning @canary

Yesterday was just strange Mum had 4 or 5 minutes of totally normal, followed by 2 or 3 hours of sleeping. She’s very tired today. I think it’s going to be a long quiet day ..... at least I hope it’s quiet

 

[canary]

Yesterday was just strange Mum had 4 or 5 minutes of totally normal

Yes, these things do happen. It seems like the brain finds a new pathway around the disease and, for a short while they seem back to normal - but it doesnt last, mores the pity. Treasure the moments

 

[rosy18]

Thinking of you and your Mum all the time Sam. Not had much chance to post, as Mums got a chest infection caught off one of the carers so wasn't impressed when she turned up with sore throat, cough and cold, I complained but was told carers couldn't be off with "just a common cold" I told the company I wouldn't let a carer come in in future with such a heavy cold.
I'm so sorry it's so hard for you at the moment Sam, the uncertainty of it all, I have to say I've thought I'd lost Mum 3 times then she bounced back, their strength is amazing.I will ask our Priest tomorrow to pray for your Mum and light a candle for her. Stay strong and know we are all here for you Big hugs for both you and your dear Mum x

 

[Margi29]

Well mum is ' normal ' today, I had to laugh, she said ' I hate football '

Sometimes it's good to see the old mum, I know and love.

The bonus of today was the roads were quiet, the supermarket dead, and walking up and down the fridge aisles has been a thrill for me in this heat, simple things keep me happy

 

[Margi29]

Thinking of you and your Mum all the time Sam. Not had much chance to post, as Mums got a chest infection caught off one of the carers so wasn't impressed when she turned up with sore throat, cough and cold, I complained but was told carers couldn't be off with "just a common cold" I told the company I wouldn't let a carer come in in future with such a heavy cold.
I'm so sorry it's so hard for you at the moment Sam, the uncertainty of it all, I have to say I've thought I'd lost Mum 3 times then she bounced back, their strength is amazing.I will ask our Priest tomorrow to pray for your Mum and light a candle for her. Stay strong and know we are all here for you Big hugs for both you and your dear Mum x

Thinking of you and your lovely mum x

 

[Sam Luvit]

Hi @rosy18

It’s good to hear from you, you & your Mum are often in my thoughts. I know it’s not easy for you at the best of times, but with a chest infection, I expect you have little time for you. Do try to at least go sit in your garden when the carers come. (Says she who sits at the top of the stairs falling asleep , but it’s do as I say, not do as I do )

The uncertainty is difficult. ASC liaison is in agreement with my sarcastic query of how a GP can assess Mum without seeing her. But the care company came out & told me ‘no change” in Mum It’s such a farce

Thank you, I love the lighting of candles, it’s such a peaceful connection. I need to work out how to get a priest to visit, mums asking about it, just not sure if they even do that any more Someone was supposed to be finding out ..... still waiting

Hugs always welcome. Sending a few back to help you coz you have more on your plate than usual. Seeing you with your mum gave me a goal to aim for, you’re so amazing with her

 

[Sam Luvit]

TBH @canary its like Mum is in Hostess Mode for that very short time span, then it’s beyond her & she’s back to struggling & then asleep from the effort. Or, that’s what it seems to me.

We have some garbled conversations. Talking about dad, then life in other countries, then my brother, on to eldest, back to youngest & .... I find myself just responding to the last subject change & don’t worry about what any of it means

 

[Sam Luvit]

Evening @Margi29

Mum watched the match with great enthusiasm (ok, she slept through bits & woke at the cheers), but she was happy to be in front of the TV. A few years ago she’d have been stomping off muttering about “blooming wall to wall blooming football”. I guess big brother made it all ok

I avoided the shops. It was bad enough sitting in the garden with Mum. Me in shorts & vest top. Mum in thick joggers, T shirt, cardigan, scarf & fleece over her She made me hot just looking at her, but she was freezing She wouldn't go in, she slept loads

Carer was booked in very late (21.15), Mum was struggling to stay awake. She managed 3 chicken wings, 5 potatoes chips & a chocolate sundae. Mum thought she’d eaten an enormous amount

Got her ready for bed & she wanted to come downstairs for a bit. 10 minutes after the Carer left, she wanted to go to bed She set off her alarm on the way up the stairs. I had to get her into the bathroom & sat down before I could run down to cancel it. 15 minutes later she set it off again getting off the loo. Ran downstairs but too late to cancel, so had to let it go through & then get them to cancel it again.

Mum now tucked up in bed, very tired & mumbling about seeing dad later.

 

[Prudence9]

Sam I wonder if your nearest Hospice would know of a priest who would visit your Mum?
It may be worth giving them a call - if you can find the time. I can well imagine how that would be difficult....and how tired you must be.
Hope you can have a non-eventful day, love and (((hugs))).