1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

  1. Thistlekicker

    Thistlekicker Registered User

    Jul 7, 2015
    Sorry but I need to vent my anger somewhere and I am sure that other members have family members who just don't bloody get it!
    I am new to the forum and have been caring for my step Mum for the last 4 years by default really All my half siblings live abroad Long distance !! The understanding was so I could get a holiday and respite the two of them would come and stay but then when they leave there is no contact again or rarely with me twice in six !months Now my step sister is arriving at weekend and had just announced she will be here for my holiday fortnight and is then oiff to USA for a ten day trip Ladt time we spoke she saiud she wass here for 8 weeks The last 6 weeks have been hard Mum had deteriorated had D& V which took her 3 weeks to get over and this week has been very delusional and not eating drinking etc !! Thanks for the support not !!
  2. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    South coast
    Im sorry to say that this is not uncommon in families :(
    Its very difficult to care for someone with dementia - are you getting any support with carers or anything?
  3. Bod

    Bod Registered User

    Aug 30, 2013
    Introduce them to this forum, they will either be educated or frightened off!!
    Either way you win---they'll help or keep well and truly out of the way.

  4. Long-Suffering

    Long-Suffering Registered User

    Jul 6, 2015
    Hi TK,

    Welcome. Sorry to hear that. It sucks. Were your siblings the same before your step mum got dementia? Have they always left you to look after her? In a lot of families there is a "responsible one" that gets taken advantage of by the others who assume that person will see to everything. Has that been the case in your family?

  5. gerrytt

    gerrytt Registered User

    Jul 9, 2015
    Not an uncommon scenario! Happened to me. Sometimes it's helpful to simply confront them and accurately determine whether not they are serious about providing any support. I asked for a yes or no answer! Their response was not encouraging! At least I now know where I stand. Don't be afraid or ashamed to ask direct questions regarding your over one's care. Best of luck! You have my heartfelt wishes!

    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
  6. MeganCat

    MeganCat Registered User

    Jan 29, 2013
    South Wales
    Families are complicated - then you add in step families!!
    My mum was involved in her husbands children's lives from when they were about 14 (same age as me) - moved up to and lived in same area as them (left my home when I was 15 and moved couple hundred miles). Told me they treated us all equally. (Hurtful if I'm honest - she gave birth to me and brother) was granny to their children (I never had any) doted on them.
    Roll on 35 years and suddenly " I need to sort something cos she's not even a blood relative"!!
    She spent years of her life and a lot of her income supporting them - babysitting, loans etc
    Her husband would roll in his grave.
    I'm sorry you've been left with it all, unfortunately not uncommon - no word from my brother either!
    My perspective is I have to be happy with my own actions, no regrets
    I can't control how other people address the situation ( doesn't stop me getting mad! :mad:)

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