Can I scream !!!

[Thistlekicker]

Sorry but I need to vent my anger somewhere and I am sure that other members have family members who just don't bloody get it!
I am new to the forum and have been caring for my step Mum for the last 4 years by default really All my half siblings live abroad Long distance !! The understanding was so I could get a holiday and respite the two of them would come and stay but then when they leave there is no contact again or rarely with me twice in six !months Now my step sister is arriving at weekend and had just announced she will be here for my holiday fortnight and is then oiff to USA for a ten day trip Ladt time we spoke she saiud she wass here for 8 weeks The last 6 weeks have been hard Mum had deteriorated had D& V which took her 3 weeks to get over and this week has been very delusional and not eating drinking etc !! Thanks for the support not !!

 

[canary]

Im sorry to say that this is not uncommon in families
Its very difficult to care for someone with dementia - are you getting any support with carers or anything?

 

[Bod]

Introduce them to this forum, they will either be educated or frightened off!!
Either way you win---they'll help or keep well and truly out of the way.

Bod

 

[Long-Suffering]

Hi TK,

Welcome. Sorry to hear that. It sucks. Were your siblings the same before your step mum got dementia? Have they always left you to look after her? In a lot of families there is a "responsible one" that gets taken advantage of by the others who assume that person will see to everything. Has that been the case in your family?

LS

 

[gerrytt]

Not an uncommon scenario! Happened to me. Sometimes it's helpful to simply confront them and accurately determine whether not they are serious about providing any support. I asked for a yes or no answer! Their response was not encouraging! At least I now know where I stand. Don't be afraid or ashamed to ask direct questions regarding your over one's care. Best of luck! You have my heartfelt wishes!


Sent from my iPad using Talking Point

 

[MeganCat]

Families are complicated - then you add in step families!!
My mum was involved in her husbands children's lives from when they were about 14 (same age as me) - moved up to and lived in same area as them (left my home when I was 15 and moved couple hundred miles). Told me they treated us all equally. (Hurtful if I'm honest - she gave birth to me and brother) was granny to their children (I never had any) doted on them.
Roll on 35 years and suddenly " I need to sort something cos she's not even a blood relative"!!
She spent years of her life and a lot of her income supporting them - babysitting, loans etc
Her husband would roll in his grave.
I'm sorry you've been left with it all, unfortunately not uncommon - no word from my brother either!
My perspective is I have to be happy with my own actions, no regrets
I can't control how other people address the situation ( doesn't stop me getting mad! )