This weekend has been awful I’ve not been well but my husband has seemed more forgetful I feel like screaming life is so different We have been out in the garden but my husband needs me to watch him continually as he gets so muddled I feel exhausted with it all and know it’s only going to get worse I’m struggling with the loss of my wonderful husband & best friend How can we still have joy in our lives I know it’s because I’m not feeling well but I’m finding things so hard and feel completely lost Just glad to have this forum to have a rant
Yes
@Bevhar the biggest change in life as a carer for a PWD, in my humble opinion , is that I can no longer talk with, debate with, argue with, ask opinions of my OH. It becomes living alone and apart together.
Yes, you miss the person you've lost - this called anticipatory grief. Some years ago I took some sessions I was offered with a counsellor through the Local Authority Adult Social Services team. It didn't clear everything but did help me get to "acceptance" of the situation, the fact that my life virtually ceased, and my life became the life of my OH. V difficult. Hence this little rant.
I found myself listing all the things I missed, like going out together for a meal, or to friends, or to the theatre or concerts. No holidays. No sharing of information, interests, feelings, etc.
Then worse still, the realisation that there is no help for carers.
Sorry if all that is a bit of a downer, but I believe in being straight and saying it as it is. We all wish it wasn't so, but it is as it is, warts and all, or rather toileting problems and all.
My OH can no longer say more than a few words together, as she then goes into just sounds and incoherent talking, she can't handle cutlery through lack of co-ordination and I have to feed her food and drink.
What a life - and that's both of us. In addition the children have lost their wonderful mum, the grandchildren have lost their wonderful grandma, etc, etc.
Best wishes and a virtual hug
@Bevhar