Big deterioration in the last few days!

[Anongirl]

I imagine I would be prosecuted for assault. If anything happens to me and I needed hospitalisation, then he would have to be hospitalised too - in the acute hospital - while they waited for the funds to be released and a bed found in a nursing home. When my mum was in hospital having her hip replaced in February, there was an old woman in the unit with her, obviously with dementia, who had been admitted for an operation on her shoulder six months previously. She wasn't able to live on her own anymore, all her children said none of them could have her with them (farmers - one of them actually lived on the same property, just across the yard apparently), and they were still waiting for things to be sorted out, and a suitable place in a nursing home relatively near them to be found. Meanwhile, they just refused to take her from the hospital. It obviously wasn't hurrying things up any - she was just moved around the hospital from ward to ward wherever there was a bed available. Sadly, then there are people who have their surgery cancelled because there are no beds available in the hospital.

I wonder how many people are actually driven to the edge of despair and lash out while waiting though? I bet this isn't uncommon.

Wow that must put terrible pressure on the hospitals and pointlessly too. Sounds like they will have a crisis on their hands before too long

This has really opened my eyes.

I agree with Scarlett, your health is suffering now and you can't carry on like that. As you say, in a care home there would be two people to lift your husband and they would probably rotate to protect their own backs.

X

 

[truth24]

Can't add any more to what's been said. Hope help arrives soon.

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[Rathbone]

No chance I suppose of presenting yourself at A & E for treatment. Am assuming there is nobody to be with William were that possible. If you were in some sort of neck brace, they'd surely have to do something? I'm not holding my breath you understand! Loving thoughts. X Shelagh

 

[LadyA]

No chance I suppose of presenting yourself at A & E for treatment. Am assuming there is nobody to be with William were that possible. If you were in some sort of neck brace, they'd surely have to do something? I'm not holding my breath you understand! Loving thoughts. X Shelagh

I am glad you are not holding your breath!

 

[LYN T]

I'm sure you must have left no stone unturned, and I am raging on your behalf. , but your back and neck are suffering big-time. Are you phoning daily? Perhaps you could contact them on Monday and say that your neck and shoulder are b*ggered now, and you can't perform even the smallest of tasks, so William is being neglected?

I do hope your pain eases, and your weekend is bearable.

Very good idea Scarlett

Lady A please take note

You could do yourself permanent damage if you continue to lift W.

Sorry for nagging, but when P was at home I hurt my back from hauling him out of the bath. He only weighed 10.50 stone. Not 14

Please put yourself first for a change (sorry don't mean to nag)

Lyn T XXXXXXXX

 

[LadyA]

Very good idea Scarlett

Lady A please take note

You could do yourself permanent damage if you continue to lift W.

Sorry for nagging, but when P was at home I hurt my back from hauling him out of the bath. He only weighed 10.50 stone. Not 14

Please put yourself first for a change (sorry don't mean to nag)

Lyn T XXXXXXXX

Wouldn't even attempt to haul William out of the bath! About 3 years ago he got stuck in the bath twice - couldn't get himself up out of it for about half an hour. He finally managed it, but he was very frightened. So I changed the lock on the bathroom door for one like a public toilet, which I could open from the outside, and I bought a bathlift for him and a step for outside the bath.

Oh, surely, surely, the letter has to come soon?

 

[Scarlett123]

Wouldn't even attempt to haul William out of the bath! About 3 years ago he got stuck in the bath twice - couldn't get himself up out of it for about half an hour. He finally managed it, but he was very frightened. So I changed the lock on the bathroom door for one like a public toilet, which I could open from the outside, and I bought a bathlift for him and a step for outside the bath.

Oh, surely, surely, the letter has to come soon?

I sincerely hope so, because you are being held hostage to some rule, about "releasing funds", which is disgusting. This is impacting on not only your physical health, but your mental wellbeing too.

If only they treated requests for funds as coming from people, and not a faceless number.

 

[LadyA]

Going to smother my neck & shoulder in anti-inflam gel and get off to bed. I've been reading over my "history" on TP - since I joined in 2009. Golly, it seems so very long ago. What a lot has happened in those five years - and when I think that William had already been showing signs of dementia for a few years before that! No wonder I'm tired!
night all!

 

[Rathbone]

Hope you slept well Lady A and that your neck and shoulder are feeling the benefits of the home treatment. Another postman day tomorrow. I'm not holding my breath as you advised, but I am walking strangely and with difficulty as I have EVERYTHING crossed, glad this is not a visual link. Love X Shelagh

 

[LYN T]

Going to smother my neck & shoulder in anti-inflam gel and get off to bed. I've been reading over my "history" on TP - since I joined in 2009. Golly, it seems so very long ago. What a lot has happened in those five years - and when I think that William had already been showing signs of dementia for a few years before that! No wonder I'm tired!
night all!

Exactly Lady A

Tiredness comes with the territory and it's very hard. Emotionally and physically Dementia drains everyone.

I hope that physically your pain has eased somewhat and you managed to get some sleep.

I will join Shelagh in the Ministry of funny walks today (apart from when I'm dog walking) in the hope that well wishes can encourage a happy mail day tomorrow.

Take care

Lyn T X

 

[LadyA]

Thanks folks. The neck does feel a lot better today. Couldn't sleep though - was still awake at 4, with everything going around in my head. Nice sunny day today. Hope it's an easy day.

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[Jinx]

Lady A hoping you had a better night and neck and shoulder have eased a bit? Probably a forlorn hope though. My OH has been trying to get to 'the office' since 2.30am, brief case 'packed' with yesterday's shirt. Put door alarm on and left him to it but not much sleep had here either.


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[LadyA]

They could have shared office space and let us sleep!

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[Jinx]

Indeed!!


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[LadyA]

*Sigh* For this morning's particular wrinkle, his Lordship is going around getting very distressed because he is wheezing very badly with his asthma. I produce his nebuliser, and get shoved away with a "No! Not me!" So, fine then. Get an asthma attack. And I will call an ambulance, and you will go to hospital. I hope! It's a terrible thing to say, but examing how I am the last few days, I find I am actually not caring. I know it's the dementia that makes him so paranoid/stubborn about these things - but I also know, having been married to him for the last 20 years, that he was always like this. Every single Summer, he would get severe asthma attacks and be wheezing at me "Help me! Help me!" - but resist using his inhalers until he literally was in a dangerous state, because he "had read about hundreds of people who were found dead with their inhalers clutched in their hands - and that proves that the inhalers killed them! They are poison!" - and so he wasn't going to be fooled by the evil doctors trying to poison him with their evil medications! The doctors were in cahoots with the big pharmaceutical companies - just to make billions of dollars, and cull the populations at the same time, by killing people off with their poisons! blah blah blah! Until he got frightened he was going to die, and then use the inhaler - and then the asthma would stop, and it would be just a coincidence!

 

[Jinx]

In your situation I'd be very tempted to call the ambulance anyway. If he won't take meds and is in danger of a full blown asthma attack he would be in the best place so you would be fully justified. Once he's there you can refuse to have him back and I bet things get sorted out on the NH front more quickly. My OH is now dozing peacefully in his chair tired after his nocturnal wandering, bless! Big hug.


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[LadyA]

I finally persuaded him to use the nebuliser! He's feeling a lot better.

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[LYN T]

I finally persuaded him to use the nebuliser! He's feeling a lot better.

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Well that's a result.

I hope your day improves

Take care

Lyn T

 

[LadyA]

Cross, cross, cross! After our morning jaunt to the shops, William was doing his pacing around the house thing. While he passed through the kitchen at one stage, I turned from the cooker in time to see him sneakily reach out his walking stick and hit one of our cats, who was minding his own business, eating out of his bowl. He was not any way in William's way - William had to reach the stick out to hit him! I was furious, and have confiscated the stick - and told William sternly that the next time I catch him hitting or kicking I will slap him soundly! Like all bullies, he was very sorry to have been caught! Now dozing in his armchair. Grrr!

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[truth24]

Poor you. If it's not one thing it's another. Doesn't he like cats or was this a new thing? Hope your neck/shoulder pain has eased and that the letter arrives this week.

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