Becoming my Mum's Carer...

P

patmac

Registered User
Jan 14, 2012
28
0
Cheers!

HillyBilly said:
Hellish day yesterday, all triggered by the unfortunate cold water in shower episode in the morning.

Mum tried to get out of the house (front door securely locked), went walkabout in the garden (no way out), sat and shouted and glowered and grumped in her coat most of the day, threw her walking frame at me, wanted to call the police and her solicitor to tell them about the awful conditions she's having to live out her miserable life in.

I made her sandwiches for lunch which she turned down (but silently ate when I wasn't looking).

Then around dinner time she sort of thawed and is fine again this morning (no shower).

Today's her 80th birthday. She doesn't remember so I've taken her to day care - I so need a few hours off - and we'll "do" her birthday when I've brought her home later.

I'm tired, feel as if I've gone through an emotional wringer. My consumption of alcohol is seriously out of control :(
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Right now I'm on my third glass of wine, what the hell, it is Saturday night and I've nowhere else to go, well I have but I can't.
It's been an eventful week, a visit to the CAB for help filling in forms and they told me I need medical evidence of mums care needs through the night. Mum is in denial which makes that difficult. Went to her doctors, he has arranged for someone to come and take blood for tests, if they are okay he will send out the mental health team, so far so good. Or maybe not, doc says they will tell mum who they are and why they are seeing her. That is when the poop may hit the fan and, of course, I will be covered in it, hence my need for alcohol this evening. Only kidding, I always have a drink on a Saturday night to kid myself weekends are different from every other day.
 
HillyBilly

HillyBilly

Registered User
Dec 21, 2015
1,946
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Ireland
patmac said:
Right now I'm on my third glass of wine, what the hell, it is Saturday night and I've nowhere else to go, well I have but I can't.
It's been an eventful week, a visit to the CAB for help filling in forms and they told me I need medical evidence of mums care needs through the night. Mum is in denial which makes that difficult. Went to her doctors, he has arranged for someone to come and take blood for tests, if they are okay he will send out the mental health team, so far so good. Or maybe not, doc says they will tell mum who they are and why they are seeing her. That is when the poop may hit the fan and, of course, I will be covered in it, hence my need for alcohol this evening. Only kidding, I always have a drink on a Saturday night to kid myself weekends are different from every other day.
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There was a Dr Feelgood song, Milk and Alcohol. Our theme song should be called Poop and Alcohol.

Once you've had 3 glasses of wine from the bottle, you might as well finish it in my book :)

Are the forms for Attendance Allowance or something else? x
 
HillyBilly

HillyBilly

Registered User
Dec 21, 2015
1,946
0
Ireland
Another hellish night last night, this time not down to Mum.

The pub over the road started emptying at 3.30am, car doors banging, horns hooting and that went on until just after 4am. I got up to go to the loo and to check on Mum/the bathroom situation. All ok. Couldn't get back to sleep. Tossed and turned, thinking about stuff. Then heard Mum getting up. I think I fell asleep at about 7am, then woken up again by Mum at 8.30.

OH got up to check on her and make her tea and to let the chickens out, bless him. Mum was fine. Half an hour later she's banging and crashing around in her room. Stick my head through the door. OK Mum?
WHO'S GOT MY DENTURE? IT'S GONE.
Everything she says is so aggressive.
The dental laboratory's making your new denture for you.
BUT I HAD ONE. WHERE IS IT?
Your old tooth had to come out and you're having a nice new denture made.
NOBODY ASKED ME.
Whatever :rolleyes:
She shut herself in her room.
Just emerged.
Repeat of the above with,
IT'S BECAUSE I'M JUST AN OLD WOMAN. THEY DON'T CARE IF I HAVE TO WALK AROUND LIKE THIS. I'M NOT GOING OUT. NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
Back in her room.
Sunday bluddy Sunday...
 
S

sleepless

Registered User
Feb 19, 2010
3,223
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The Sweet North
I bought a ready-made trifle from A*** purely because the plastic dish it was in looked just right to fit in the toilet bowl for collecting a sample from my OH.
It fit perfectly, and the trifle was nice too!
 
HillyBilly

HillyBilly

Registered User
Dec 21, 2015
1,946
0
Ireland
Mum re-emerged from her room as OH was starting to cook breakfast.
Would you like some coffee and breakfast now?
Mum said,
YOU KNOW I CAN'T TALK LIKE THIS.
I had to laugh (from the other room).

This morning I've called the CH that offered Mum the place I declined a couple of weeks ago.
I've told them I'll take the next vacancy they can offer.
I feel a sense of relief.
 
S

sleepless

Registered User
Feb 19, 2010
3,223
0
The Sweet North
HillyBilly said:
Mum re-emerged from her room as OH was starting to cook breakfast.
Would you like some coffee and breakfast now?
Mum said,
YOU KNOW I CAN'T TALK LIKE THIS.
I had to laugh (from the other room).

This morning I've called the CH that offered Mum the place I declined a couple of weeks ago.
I've told them I'll take the next vacancy they can offer.
I feel a sense of relief.
Click to expand...

I think your last line says it all, Hilly-Billy.
Better this way than in a time of crisis.
Hope your day (aka mum) improves.
 
CeliaW

CeliaW

Registered User
Jan 29, 2009
5,643
0
Hampshire
Think you have made a good decision HB. I know you have struggled with the idea because you wanted to care for your Mum at home but you have given it a good try and it isn't really working so well done on biting the bullet and making that call.

I hope a place becomes available soon and the time between now and then isn't too difficult. Take care x
 
LadyA

LadyA

Registered User
Oct 19, 2009
13,730
0
Ireland
I too feel you've made the right decision HB. You've given it a good shot, but things couldn't continue as they've been. Hopefully, you'll regain a better relationship with your mum when she's settled in a nursing home, and everything will be "their " fault and not yours! :D
 
E

Earthgirl72

Registered User
Feb 2, 2016
135
0
Just had to delurk (is that a word?) to say that we had chocolate trifle from A*** after dinner... I'm glad it all got used as not sure I want anymore now :D

Hillybilly, just have to say - you're a superstar and how you manage to combine the poop levels with so much humour, well, you're just a star!

For what it's worth, I too think you've made the right choice
 
L

Lavender45

Registered User
Jun 7, 2015
1,607
0
Liverpool
I'm with the others, I think you are doing the right thing for all of you. You can read the relief in what you wrote. Well done for making a tough decision. x
 
LadyA

LadyA

Registered User
Oct 19, 2009
13,730
0
Ireland
Earthgirl72 said:
Just had to delurk (is that a word?) to say that we had chocolate trifle from A*** after dinner... I'm glad it all got used as not sure I want anymore now :D

Hillybilly, just have to say - you're a superstar and how you manage to combine the poop levels with so much humour, well, you're just a star!

For what it's worth, I too think you've made the right choice
Click to expand...

Would be a chocolate trifle, wouldn't it?! :D
You should have kept some for HillyBilly - I'm sure she would have loved some! :D
 
Kjn

Kjn

Registered User
Jul 27, 2013
5,833
0
Please I havnt any trifle in:confused:

I too think you've made the right decision HB , a tough one but seriously it doesn't get easier. I hope there is a vacancy for you x
 
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