(Re writing cause anxiety 
)
My father was diagnosed with dementia when I was in my late teens/early 20s (I'm 29 atm.)
Today (Christmas) my father assaulted me, I took away 2 bottles of vodka from his room because obviously he shouldn't be drinking and everyone has told him so. He said he's not drinking it, but as soon as picked it up he got aggressive, when I walked out of the room he grabbed my arm with both hands and tried to drag me back into the room, he pulled on me with all his weight downwards (pants around his ankle, you know what out and proud).
I managed to get loose, and told him not to touch me again or I'd call the police which he encouraged me to do (they won't do anything). Then followed me downstairs, pants still around his ankles saying I needed to get out.
An hour ago he stormed into the kitchen complaining saying I needed to get out, went downstairs riffled threw my room and things. Came back upstairs and searched all through the kitchen for it, I emptied the bin and my laundry to show him it was there. He went from saying "I'm your dad, I'm not well" to once again threatening to kick me out. Never acknowledging what he did to me.
He told me earlier he was 'dying and sick' I called 999 and he hung up the phone.
My father is sick, I know that I understand, but he is just full of self-pity and doesn't help himself, as soon as he was diagnosed it became his excuse for everything, and he 'played up' to his illness, he is much more capable than he lets on. But will act meek and stumble in front of my half-brother, the doctor or whenever I request he helps me out a little e.g. cleaning up his plate or making food when I'm ill (like a sandwich). Or threatening to kick me out when I stand up for myself.
We don't have a good relationship, and after years of resentment, I realised he didn't treat me well as a child. After talking to a childhood friend, they confirmed that he never acted like a father, compared me to others, treated me like a servant (I'm the only girl), criticised my weight constantly and told me he expected me to look after me when he got older.
I'm considered a carer by everyone and it drives me insane, I tried hard but honestly, I don't have a maternal or empathetic bone in my body (at least not anymore). He has no respect for me, he never has, my brother, aunt, nieces and sister-in-law are treated well by him, but I'm the punching bag and it's been dragging me down for years. I did this before few years ago and it destroyed me, I was able to get out before but now it's so much harder.
Sorry this is a rambled post.
I'm pretty much alone (his family and my half-brother are so useless) I just needed to vent.
One day I'd like to write a full account of my relationship with my father but this was a long enough post
x
)My father was diagnosed with dementia when I was in my late teens/early 20s (I'm 29 atm.)
Today (Christmas) my father assaulted me, I took away 2 bottles of vodka from his room because obviously he shouldn't be drinking and everyone has told him so. He said he's not drinking it, but as soon as picked it up he got aggressive, when I walked out of the room he grabbed my arm with both hands and tried to drag me back into the room, he pulled on me with all his weight downwards (pants around his ankle, you know what out and proud).
I managed to get loose, and told him not to touch me again or I'd call the police which he encouraged me to do (they won't do anything). Then followed me downstairs, pants still around his ankles saying I needed to get out.
An hour ago he stormed into the kitchen complaining saying I needed to get out, went downstairs riffled threw my room and things. Came back upstairs and searched all through the kitchen for it, I emptied the bin and my laundry to show him it was there. He went from saying "I'm your dad, I'm not well" to once again threatening to kick me out. Never acknowledging what he did to me.
He told me earlier he was 'dying and sick' I called 999 and he hung up the phone.
My father is sick, I know that I understand, but he is just full of self-pity and doesn't help himself, as soon as he was diagnosed it became his excuse for everything, and he 'played up' to his illness, he is much more capable than he lets on. But will act meek and stumble in front of my half-brother, the doctor or whenever I request he helps me out a little e.g. cleaning up his plate or making food when I'm ill (like a sandwich). Or threatening to kick me out when I stand up for myself.
We don't have a good relationship, and after years of resentment, I realised he didn't treat me well as a child. After talking to a childhood friend, they confirmed that he never acted like a father, compared me to others, treated me like a servant (I'm the only girl), criticised my weight constantly and told me he expected me to look after me when he got older.
I'm considered a carer by everyone and it drives me insane, I tried hard but honestly, I don't have a maternal or empathetic bone in my body (at least not anymore). He has no respect for me, he never has, my brother, aunt, nieces and sister-in-law are treated well by him, but I'm the punching bag and it's been dragging me down for years. I did this before few years ago and it destroyed me, I was able to get out before but now it's so much harder.
Sorry this is a rambled post.
I'm pretty much alone (his family and my half-brother are so useless) I just needed to vent.
One day I'd like to write a full account of my relationship with my father but this was a long enough post
x
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