My mum is middle stage dementia - registered severely visually impaired - has eye drops for severe dry eyes - last week visit to eye hospital - consultant says she is not taking her medication for dry eyes consistently ( every few hours / 6times a day ) also glaucoma control drops first thing / last thing in the day. He says her eyes are getting damaged and she could loose her sight.
My mum lives alone in a small over 50s flat. I persuaded (hard work!) mum to have a lady in for an hour on weds each week - mum calls her 'the cleaner' or ' the servant' as in "that servant is far and bloody useless". At least for me this means I don't have to do the cleaning and I sort of get a day off (I do all finance, visits to go / eye hospital, washing, food shop and stock etc etc)
I see mum three (trying to make these good times for her) a week - Thursdays for a coffee in a coffee shop, Tuesday I take her to the same garden centre each week for breakfast , Sunday I drive to her and collect her for a 2hr roast chicken dinner - then drive her home. I won't be doing more than this other that 'emergencies' as her condition progresses so I will need to get paid carers in daily to ensure she eats / drinks (hydration issue) takes medication - one day possibly to get dressed etc et.
The problem is mum gets really angry / furious at ANY possibility of carers - thinks she does things that she doesn't - the carer I introduced as a friend - to cook her fish and chips on Fridays got given the push today (I've eaten already) or (I want to eat later) ....I've tried being subtle, I've tried being direct I've tried explaining that I'm on mums side and that I want to help her stay in her home and out of a care home - nothing goes in / changes her mind.
My fear is that of course as she has mental capacity (her abilities fluctuate all the time) I must let her make her own decisions - which is awful as it's just waiting for a disaster to happen e.g. her eyes get really bad / she looses her sight completely - and of course she still refuses carers .
subtly isn't working - I'm desperate to get past this barrier to mums shirt and long term well-being - what can I do to to arrive at the situation where carers can go in, help mum, and not get refused / sent away?
My mum lives alone in a small over 50s flat. I persuaded (hard work!) mum to have a lady in for an hour on weds each week - mum calls her 'the cleaner' or ' the servant' as in "that servant is far and bloody useless". At least for me this means I don't have to do the cleaning and I sort of get a day off (I do all finance, visits to go / eye hospital, washing, food shop and stock etc etc)
I see mum three (trying to make these good times for her) a week - Thursdays for a coffee in a coffee shop, Tuesday I take her to the same garden centre each week for breakfast , Sunday I drive to her and collect her for a 2hr roast chicken dinner - then drive her home. I won't be doing more than this other that 'emergencies' as her condition progresses so I will need to get paid carers in daily to ensure she eats / drinks (hydration issue) takes medication - one day possibly to get dressed etc et.
The problem is mum gets really angry / furious at ANY possibility of carers - thinks she does things that she doesn't - the carer I introduced as a friend - to cook her fish and chips on Fridays got given the push today (I've eaten already) or (I want to eat later) ....I've tried being subtle, I've tried being direct I've tried explaining that I'm on mums side and that I want to help her stay in her home and out of a care home - nothing goes in / changes her mind.
My fear is that of course as she has mental capacity (her abilities fluctuate all the time) I must let her make her own decisions - which is awful as it's just waiting for a disaster to happen e.g. her eyes get really bad / she looses her sight completely - and of course she still refuses carers .
subtly isn't working - I'm desperate to get past this barrier to mums shirt and long term well-being - what can I do to to arrive at the situation where carers can go in, help mum, and not get refused / sent away?
