At my wits end

[Ellebe]

Not sure what to do. My mum has lived with me since the start of the pandemic - nearly 3 years. Even though I get her up each day, she sleeps most of the time, and won’t/can’t interact. I spend a lot of my time getting her to drink. No matter how often I ask her to drink, hand her her cup of tea, re-heat her drinks, she still manages to avoid drinking it all.
She only drinks water at night to take her tablets and won’t touch it at other times. She drinks tea and hot chocolate. Until the last couple of months I could virtually guarantee she would drink hot chocolate with few prompts. But this is now getting more difficult.
I’ve tried jelly drops - they are expensive and I still have to give them to her. She won’t drink fruit juice.
We have carers coming in for half an hour a day and she doesn’t interact with them - waves them away telling them to leave her alone. I have time out probably once a month - sitters are scarce as the Care Agency has recruitment problems and ill health in the team of carers.
When she’s been in a Care Home for respite, she hardly eats or drinks at all as they don’t/can’t spend the time necessary reminding her every 5 minutes to drink up. So pouting her into a Care Home probably isn’t the answer, unless I want her to get ill.
Help! Ideas, please. I’m at my wits end. I feel I’ve tried everything. Don’t know what else to try.

 

[sdmhred]

Hi @Ellebe my mum went through this too. Thankfully a UTI where she peed blood scared her into drinking a bit. I still have to put the cup in her hands though and pander to her favourites. She doesn’t drink water at all, but does like Ribena.

what’s your mum’s appetite like at home? Can you get some fluid in that way? I’ve used yoghurt, custard, ice cream and lollies to help.

Also mum will drink more when we’re out ‘having a coffee’.

she does get cross tho if I nag her too muc.

 

[Ellebe]

Hi @Ellebe my mum went through this too. Thankfully a UTI where she peed blood scared her into drinking a bit. I still have to put the cup in her hands though and pander to her favourites. She doesn’t drink water at all, but does like Ribena.

what’s your mum’s appetite like at home? Can you get some fluid in that way? I’ve used yoghurt, custard, ice cream and lollies to help.

Also mum will drink more when we’re out ‘having a coffee’.

she does get cross tho if I nag her too muc.

Thanks.
So far I’ve avoided UTIs with her. Thank goodness
I cant get her out much any more. She used to like to go out for tea but can’t manage much any more.
Her appetite is waning. In the summer I managed ice cream and lollies. She liked that. I get as much ‘wet’ food into her as possible, including occasional soup, but she’s not keen on the soup.
I do sometimes get “leave me alone” from her when I try to get her to eat or drink. 🤷🏼‍♀️
Such hard work!

 

[canary]

Hello @Ellebe

It sounds to me as though you are doing all the right things.
Unfortunately, once they reach the advanced stage, as the dementia progresses they eat and drink less and less and eventually (once they reach end of life) they stop eating and drinking entirely.
Its just this horrible disease
xx

 

[Ellebe]

Hello @Ellebe

It sounds to me as though you are doing all the right things.
Unfortunately, once they reach the advanced stage, as the dementia progresses they eat and drink less and less and eventually (once they reach end of life) they stop eating and drinking entirely.
Its just this horrible disease
xx

Thanks x