At my wits end with the Widdling....

jools090867

Registered User
Jan 29, 2009
35
:mad:

Does anyone have any suggestions as to a small, but totally infuriating problem we have with my father?
Every time he goes to the toilet for a wee he misses - not just a few splashes, but the whole bladder full ends up on the toilet floor.
We have tried to get him to sit when he goes, but he refuses point blank as he says that he NEVER wets on the floor, it is NOT him and how ******* we dare suggest that it is...We have tried to get him to stand closer to the toilet (so his knees touch the edge) but again he refuses as ITS NOT HIM....!! He is a violent aggressive sufferer and we dare not antagonise him too much else he starts to shout, swear and throw things.
This happens at least 8 times a day, every time we have to wipe wash and disinfect the floor (which we had tiled recently because of the problem).
Its ok when I am here visiting as I grin and bare it, but my mother is crippled with Arthritis and finds it almost impossible to keep up with the cleaning..
Apart from murder (which I am sorry to say I feel like committing at the moment), does anyone know what we could do??
 

jeany123

Registered User
Mar 24, 2012
19,036
70
Durham
Hi Jools could you consider changing the colour of the toilet seat. A red seat and a white pan can make it easier to see,. People with dementia may experience orientation difficulties if the bathroom facilities are all the same colour.
I have read that people with dementia can see red better than any other colour
 

sadpuffin

Registered User
Dec 18, 2012
46
This may be patronising and plse ignore if it is. When my son ws starting to use the loo my ma told me to put something in the pan for him to aim at. It is probably not relevant for a gentleman but just thought I would mention it.
 

chrisuz

Registered User
May 29, 2012
94
East Yorkshire
I bought some red terry towelling covers for the toilet seat, they stretch on and can easily be removed for washing, and they are cheaper and easier for me to fit than a new loo seat. I have also seen a duck to aim at , but I wondered about keeping it clean as people don't just wee down the toilet.
 

rjm

Registered User
Jun 19, 2012
744
Ontario, Canada
Don't know if it would help but, you can get extensions that raise the seat (and hole) by 10" or so. They are designed for those with mobility issues who can't sit on a low seat; but in your dad's case, maybe moving the target closer to him would help? You may have to say it is being installed for your mum due to her arthritis to get him to accept it.
 

jools090867

Registered User
Jan 29, 2009
35
Thank you

For all your suggestions.
I have just ordered a red toilet seat so we shall see how that goes.
Please excuse me while I go and wash the floor for the 12th time today

:mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:
 

jeany123

Registered User
Mar 24, 2012
19,036
70
Durham
For all your suggestions.
I have just ordered a red toilet seat so we shall see how that goes.
Please excuse me while I go and wash the floor for the 12th time today

:mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:
Please come back and tell us if it works it will be wonderful if it does ,
 

rjm

Registered User
Jun 19, 2012
744
Ontario, Canada
For all your suggestions.
I have just ordered a red toilet seat so we shall see how that goes.
Please excuse me while I go and wash the floor for the 12th time today

:mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:
Maybe you could have a builder install a drain in the floor, then you could just hose it down :eek:
 

jasmineflower

Registered User
Aug 27, 2012
335
I just wondered whether the absorbent "puppy pads" that you put in the kitchen to mop up little doggy accidents might work as a mat by the toilet? They do absorb a considerable amount of liquid and trap it as a gel, like nappies. I realise that they are not cheap, but you would probably get away with using one a day.
Jenny
 

LadyA

Registered User
Oct 19, 2009
13,563
Ireland
I'm afraid I can't help in any practical way. But I'm sitting here, smiling and nodding like a plastic nodding dog in the back of a car! :) Oh yes, we do share your pain! Only with William, not the entire bladder-full ends up on the floor. At least half of it goes on his clothes, so the floor needs mopping (actually what I do is have a spray bottle of bleach solution and a roll of paper towels in there and disposable gloves, and a covered bin. Easiest way to clean up.) and his clothes need changing, and William needs cleaning too - I use baby-wipes for him. And actually, someone suggested to me that he's wetting everywhere because he is sitting to wee - they said men just can't "aim" properly if they are sitting down!
 

littlegem

Registered User
Nov 11, 2010
837
north Wales
I have to admit I have tried everything but now cover the floor with newspapers around the loo, hubby is sight impaired so it's not totally the dementia. Even have rigid plastic sheets against the walls so they are easily wiped clean.
It drove me nuts mopping up all the time, tried loo mats but obviously they need washing all the time, with newspaper it's easily picked up and binned, doesn't look great but solves the problem.
Hope the red seat works for you.
 

jan.s

Registered User
Sep 20, 2011
7,352
68
I used to keep the mop and bucket in the bathroom, with disinfectant water at the ready. I also tried loo mats, but as was said, they need washing, but they did prevent it "leaking" along the grouting!
 

jeany123

Registered User
Mar 24, 2012
19,036
70
Durham
You can get packs of disposable baby bed mats or the kind you put on the floor for puppies at the pound shop,
You get about 8 in and could cut one to shape around the toilet it would absorb some of the wee, or even use a couple to put upside down on the wee and soak it up then the floor would just need a quick mop it might make things easier for your mum,
I used these when my washer had a slight leak it absorbed all the water and it was easier for me until I got the washing machine repaired ,
Oh I see it has already been suggested sorry :(

Jeany x
 

jools090867

Registered User
Jan 29, 2009
35
The trouble is..

If we put anything on the floor, he picks it up and puts it on the radiator (thinks he's being "helpful") so if its paper, puppy pads or a mat that he has already soaked with urine it will be quite smelly with the heat :p
WE have a bottle of ready made up disinfectant on the shelf along with a spare lot of loo roll so thats no problem, its more the issue of my mother having no balance because of the arthritis in her feet and severe pain in her back, so the clearing up (even using a grabber) is very painful for her...
We have decided the time has come to sort out a CH now, so hopefully the problem will be short lived ish....
 

FifiMo

Registered User
Feb 10, 2010
4,710
Wiltshire
Hiya Jools,

In addition to the contrast of the toilet seat, they also recommend that you colour the water too. Maybe try adding one of those bloo blocks to the cistern might work and would be cheap solution. Other suggestions I have seen include try using one of those boosters which raise the height of the toilet seat to put it more in view. There are also products which sit over the toilet that expand the front of the toilet to avoid misses. These things should be quickly available from your OT folks. The GP could make an urgent referral, especially if your mum's health is at risk too.

Fiona
 

donandpam

Registered User
Jan 16, 2013
5
pam also a frustrated wife and wee mopper upper!

i can sympathise. and can say the best thing i ever did was to have the carpet removed from my bathroom and had vinolay put down. however i too am on my hands and knees day and night mopping! i did try cutting the bottom end off of a big lemonade bottle. he could then place the large end towards his body with "bits" dangling inside. that way the wee could be guided via the cap end into the toilet. but unless i was there to help my husband he didn't think of it. might work for you though.;)
 

jools090867

Registered User
Jan 29, 2009
35
Thank you Pam - although I dont think dad would accept having his "bits" in a bottle...!! I think we have an additional problem because he has an enlarged Prostate so he has to "force" the wee out - making it shoot out in all directions :eek:

The call of the Care Home beckons louder each day, I think thats the route we are going to have to take now. Whilst he still has fleeting moments of lucidity in the mornings they are short lived and interspersed with hallucinations and nonsensical outbursts.

I just need to deal with mums guilt....:(