I nearly hit my husband yesterday afternoon. He got me by the throat in return. I pushed him off. I really wanted to put him over my knee and spank him until my hand hurt. I visualise doing this a lot as I am sole carer no family or friends come by. He is as irresponsible and as gormless as a toddler, and cannot be reasoned with to keep safe. He won't eat or drink or medicate appropriately on his own, and often not when asked by me. Defiant toddler with Parkinsons, dementia, and diabetes type 1. Can't be left safely. 67, too young, active and bolshie for a nursing home. Hospital couldn't cope with his complex needs either! Got worse. We just have 6 weeks post hospital carers to support tablet taking, and new community nurses permanently twice daily for insulin. I self reported to his support workers, nurses, social services and Alzheimer's society yesterday. Nobody judgemental or shocked. Seems like he's forgotten today. I'm waiting to see if a trial night sitter does come tonight, as I get no sleep if his blood sugar is high or low , alarm goes off hourly, have to see how high or how low, try to get him to drink lots (ha bloody ha too defiant).or prevent him O Ding on jelly babies if too low as he panics. Also thinks Parkinsons shakes are low blood sugar. No.Not . Never..... He's too dozy and weak to be aware what has to be done or to do it himself. Funnily enough, got an extra carer visit last evening for his last meds, blood sugar dodgy, he accepted corrective measures. Still a bit low 3 hours later 10pm, one last biscuit, left him to it, slept in spare room doors open. No alarms all night. Somebody up there must pity me! Social worker supposed to visit today to discuss, but she's got Covid. GP and pharmacy still not sorted out Dossett box supply, had to chase that this morning. No answers yet. Life goes on. Do I feel ashamed about violence potential? Not a jot. Husband's been on the verge of violence many times in the past 5 years. It rubs off on you.. He can't and won't be reasoned with, cannot be left, is not safe......but he's a toddler in grown man's body, won't stay put or be shut in his room or sit on the naughty step. I am glad I self reported. It was the right thing to do. His risky behaviours give me risky behaviours. I am hoping his medical needs other than diabetes will also come under NHS Continuing Care, but am not holding my breath. Don't be ashamed. Self report, ask for help. You're stuck 247 365. The authorities tend to work 8 hour shifts and not weekends or holidays. They can offload. Yo can offload to them. Best wishes