Anti-Depressants for Carers?
- Thread starter Grannie G
- Start date
All I keep saying to myself lately , ok since yesterday is that I don’t care , I don’t care , and I feel better .
Good news have been offered 3 bedroom house , then I think , just started work, have to get time of for move , after xmas , money for move, need to lay new flooring , mum going to get confused, bank taken all of £600
Then top it all they saying no dogs allowed and it has a garden , they let me know next week then I think ,good I don’t care if I get this move or not , I felt so good after thinking that to myself , its all the caring for other that is getting me depress , so what if I have a cake chocolate , or two and get fat , as long as my cholesterol is ok and blood purser , so what if I have an addiction, is it an addiction or just a comfort, I call it a comfort , if it make me feel good and caring does not , I say to myself I don’t care and gosh do I feel good.
try it and feel that moment of Release of tension .
Then ok its all back if you want , but does ant it make you realise where its all coming from yes caring so much about every one around you , so don’t forget to look after you first
Good news have been offered 3 bedroom house , then I think , just started work, have to get time of for move , after xmas , money for move, need to lay new flooring , mum going to get confused, bank taken all of £600
Then top it all they saying no dogs allowed and it has a garden , they let me know next week then I think ,good I don’t care if I get this move or not , I felt so good after thinking that to myself , its all the caring for other that is getting me depress , so what if I have a cake chocolate , or two and get fat , as long as my cholesterol is ok and blood purser , so what if I have an addiction, is it an addiction or just a comfort, I call it a comfort , if it make me feel good and caring does not , I say to myself I don’t care and gosh do I feel good.
try it and feel that moment of Release of tension . Then ok its all back if you want , but does ant it make you realise where its all coming from yes caring so much about every one around you , so don’t forget to look after you first
Well said, Margarita. We must care for ourselves without feeling selfish. If we don`t who will?
We have had a difficult 2 days and I just withdrew myself to another room, until each `lapse` passed. I also said `I don`t care`. I do care really but it`s one more coping coping strategy. It didn`t solve the problem, but it helped me deal with it.
Keep taking care of yourself. Love Sylvia
We have had a difficult 2 days and I just withdrew myself to another room, until each `lapse` passed. I also said `I don`t care`. I do care really but it`s one more coping coping strategy. It didn`t solve the problem, but it helped me deal with it.
Keep taking care of yourself. Love Sylvia
The stress of it all took its toil on me yesterday after work , will it was Friday so pop in to pub yes on my own did I care that I was on my own No!! .
when I got home my friend said that I had got phone call from another friend asking if I was still going to her house for a drink as it was her birthday , dame why do I always forget , so my friend sat with my mother and I went with my daughter had a good dance , yes more drink. Got a hangover today, but I still got up for mum and have put dinner on.
So now when I complain to myself how tried I feel I know why lol
I also use to do that Sylvia withdrew myself to another room , I may of been Lucky to have teenagers, who could give me a break so I could get out, but did not see it like that back then
I am wondering do you have any children?
I am finding now , that as my friend sits with mum while I work she also recognizes when I am getting stress so take over with mum , its so good having an outside person coming in seeing the situation from the outside, as I use to find I did not recognise what was happening to me when living in it , if you undertand what I mean
when I got home my friend said that I had got phone call from another friend asking if I was still going to her house for a drink as it was her birthday , dame why do I always forget , so my friend sat with my mother and I went with my daughter had a good dance , yes more drink. Got a hangover today, but I still got up for mum and have put dinner on.
So now when I complain to myself how tried I feel I know why lol
I also use to do that Sylvia withdrew myself to another room , I may of been Lucky to have teenagers, who could give me a break so I could get out, but did not see it like that back then
I am wondering do you have any children?
I am finding now , that as my friend sits with mum while I work she also recognizes when I am getting stress so take over with mum , its so good having an outside person coming in seeing the situation from the outside, as I use to find I did not recognise what was happening to me when living in it , if you undertand what I mean
Hi - Yes I certainly went down that road. I visited my doctor, and he was very sympathetic. Apart from anything else, it was nice to talk to someone about how I was feeling. Did the anti-depressants do any good? It's hard to say, but I personally think it's worth a try when you're feeling very low.
Regards
Martin
Regards
Martin
I found when I took ant depression tablets for nearly a year few years back , it does not take the stress away, one day your have to come of them , or your just get dependent on them and won’t know how to cope without them, doctor are good at giving you ant depression, but should also give you counselling along the way ,while your on them , so ask for that also . they give me 6 week of counselling , then you just got to get on with it .
Margarita said:
Dear Sylvia, I'm sorry that I have only just come across this thread, and hopefully the issue about depression is all 'water under the bridge' for you by now. However, in case it isn't I'll tell you a bit about what happened to me, in case it is helpful. Or anyway, it might make you laugh a bit.
Like Margarita, I was referred by my GP to a counsellor last year. This counsellor was extremely helpful and I felt that she was a sort of island that I could cling to over the weeks. Even if I couldn't have an appointment for a week or two, I knew that I could swim through the painful times with the prospect of a definite appointment in the not -too-far-distant-future. However, the downside is that, as Margarita said, the sessions are limited. Also, I threw a bit of a wobbly (privately) when it transpired, during the course of the counselling sessions, that my counsellor had previously been a tabloid journalist.
She was an extremely nice person but I couldn't help wondering if my life story was going to feature in some unsavoury places sometime. Goodness knows whether the practice counsellors are bound by any formal confidentiality clauses, let's hope so. Quite funny in retrospect because I have been a freelance journalist myself very very briefly so I should have been more accepting!Anyway,in my case the sessions were limited to eight, and you can't have any more with the practice counsellor. So we spent part of the last session looking at alternatives, one of which included going to some sort of centre and sitting going through a self-help computer programme for people with depression.
This sounded ghastly and pretty depressing in its own right, so I gave that a miss. The other suggestion she made and which we followed through, was to ask for counselling from a social worker-staffed counselling centre. My counsellor made the referral weeks ago but there is such a long waiting list that I still have not heard whether they are willing to take me on. I did have an interview over the phone a few weeks back which reduced me to tears ( " Have you ever tried to kill yourself?" " Yes, but I'd forgotten about it, thanks for reminding me") and I began to think , " Oh help, I can't face going through the hands of less-than-skilled counsellors who will want me to churn out all the stuff that my practice counsellor already knows". So I have written to my GP to ask if I can be re-referred to the practice counsellor, but that was a fortnight ago if not more and the letter has not been acknowledged even though it was hand-delivered.TP is very helpful, but really we all need human contact, face to face, even if it isn't ideal. I do hope that you have found a way to cope with your depression. I told you what I felt about Prozac, which made me very sleepy but I understand that there ARE other antidepressants which can help carry you through difficult times and as long as the GP is monitoring and you are at ease, then they are not a bad idea necessarily, if they help to get you over stressful times.
I don't know what else to say except that what you are doing to support your husband is so impressive, and I really hope that you have found some equilibrium by now. I keep thinking that the caring journey is like that embroidery stitch; the one that goes forward in a big loop of optimism and then has to go back on itself before starting again. Sorry, can't think of the name, is it herring bone? What I mean is that the good days take us forward, but we know there will be be bad days as well. which set us back. On the bad days, we have to bide our time and try and look after ouselves and be kind to ourselves. The caring is an act of beauty, whatever the setbacks. Be proud.
Love Deborah
Last edited:
anti-depressants
grannie g
i am now on depressant pills again have tried to be indepdant but couldnt if it helps then why not i let it help me when i cant find anything else to keep me going you arnt loosing it it is just a bleep take one day at a time treat it as it comes your love will see you through
my love goes out to you pashandjas
Grannie G said:
grannie g
i am now on depressant pills again have tried to be indepdant but couldnt if it helps then why not i let it help me when i cant find anything else to keep me going you arnt loosing it it is just a bleep take one day at a time treat it as it comes your love will see you through
my love goes out to you pashandjas
Dear Deborah
Thank you.
Thank you for taking the time and trouble to write such a comprehensive answer.
Since I began that post, I`ve managed to cope without help from either counselling or medication.
I really shy away from medication because I see myself as an addictive person. I was addicted to nicotine and I am an emotional eater. My fear is becoming addicted to an anti-depressant and the doctor wanting to take me off it, after a certain time.
I know there is a waiting list for counselling and only a set period of appointments allocated. I also know I would need to relate well, to a counsellor, and have respect for their superior skills. I accept the arrogance of that comment, but it is the way I feel. With practitioners, there are levels of excellence and we, as laypeople, can be lucky or unlucky with the ones we are referred to.
There is a reason for me to feel this way. I was helped to stop smoking by Hypnosis. The first Hypnotherapist I consulted took me back to my childhood, when I had specifically asked her not to, and opened up a can of worms. I then asked my GP to reccommend a Hypnotherapist and, all credit to him, he did some research, even though he was sceptical, and found someone who was excellent.
When I originally posted I was very low and considering asking for help. I seem to have overcome this, for how long I don`t know, but I`ll bide my time for now.
You are quite right about the herring bone stitch..........one step forwards and two steps back. I am trying to keep it as two steps forwards and one step back.
With love
Thank you.
Thank you for taking the time and trouble to write such a comprehensive answer.
Since I began that post, I`ve managed to cope without help from either counselling or medication.
I really shy away from medication because I see myself as an addictive person. I was addicted to nicotine and I am an emotional eater. My fear is becoming addicted to an anti-depressant and the doctor wanting to take me off it, after a certain time.
I know there is a waiting list for counselling and only a set period of appointments allocated. I also know I would need to relate well, to a counsellor, and have respect for their superior skills. I accept the arrogance of that comment, but it is the way I feel. With practitioners, there are levels of excellence and we, as laypeople, can be lucky or unlucky with the ones we are referred to.
There is a reason for me to feel this way. I was helped to stop smoking by Hypnosis. The first Hypnotherapist I consulted took me back to my childhood, when I had specifically asked her not to, and opened up a can of worms. I then asked my GP to reccommend a Hypnotherapist and, all credit to him, he did some research, even though he was sceptical, and found someone who was excellent.
When I originally posted I was very low and considering asking for help. I seem to have overcome this, for how long I don`t know, but I`ll bide my time for now.
You are quite right about the herring bone stitch..........one step forwards and two steps back. I am trying to keep it as two steps forwards and one step back.
With love
Dear pashandjas
Thank you for your post. I`m glad you have an anti-depressant that agrees with you and helps you. I am still managing without, but I don`t really consider I`m depressed, I just get very fed up at times.
Take care of yourself. With love
Thank you for your post. I`m glad you have an anti-depressant that agrees with you and helps you. I am still managing without, but I don`t really consider I`m depressed, I just get very fed up at times.
Take care of yourself. With love
Hi Sylvia
I found the answer - for me - was to teach myself to manage my depression.
Of course we get depressed when we are in our situation - actually, I'd be worrying about anyone who didn't. I suspect depression is a way of leaking out the hurt and confusion and there are other ways - holding everything in, or letting it all out in an explosion - that could be more harmful.
My GP did suggest medication and somebody sometime did suggest counselling to me.
I gave pretty much the same reply to both options.
I knew exactly what I was depressed about - I had only to look at what Jan was going through, my inability to sort it for her, and the prospect of trashed futures. Medication could only mask that - the underlying cause would still be there, always.
Also, medication might compromise the driving I needed to do, and my responses to Jan's needs. And of course I might get to like them. Final point - I really didn't want another ingredient around for the cocktail of drugs I could already build in case it really all did get too much.
Counselling - I guess I'm a self-helper. I felt I would get a stronger solution to my hurts if I worked them out myself. For me that appears to be true. Not so for everyone, necessarily. Also I had found most of the help offered - and there was precious little - was fleeting and pretty useless... for me and for Jan.
After all this time I do still get depressed - how can one not? However, I have realised that it requires me to put some plus items on the scales to balance the negative ones, and things get a heap better. The particular plus doesn't matter - so it may be making a rum trifle, doing some gardening, buying Jan some new clothes, etc Also I review my visits to Jan and try to make them a little different, to give her more variety - it is easy to get into a rut of daily visits. I also do more positive things outside the visits. TP has helped in that.
I think the process of understanding and managing my reactions to depression - indeed and also the whole situation - has strengthened me in many ways.
I found the answer - for me - was to teach myself to manage my depression.
Of course we get depressed when we are in our situation - actually, I'd be worrying about anyone who didn't. I suspect depression is a way of leaking out the hurt and confusion and there are other ways - holding everything in, or letting it all out in an explosion - that could be more harmful.
My GP did suggest medication and somebody sometime did suggest counselling to me.
I gave pretty much the same reply to both options.
I knew exactly what I was depressed about - I had only to look at what Jan was going through, my inability to sort it for her, and the prospect of trashed futures. Medication could only mask that - the underlying cause would still be there, always.
Also, medication might compromise the driving I needed to do, and my responses to Jan's needs. And of course I might get to like them. Final point - I really didn't want another ingredient around for the cocktail of drugs I could already build in case it really all did get too much.
Counselling - I guess I'm a self-helper. I felt I would get a stronger solution to my hurts if I worked them out myself. For me that appears to be true. Not so for everyone, necessarily. Also I had found most of the help offered - and there was precious little - was fleeting and pretty useless... for me and for Jan.
After all this time I do still get depressed - how can one not? However, I have realised that it requires me to put some plus items on the scales to balance the negative ones, and things get a heap better. The particular plus doesn't matter - so it may be making a rum trifle, doing some gardening, buying Jan some new clothes, etc Also I review my visits to Jan and try to make them a little different, to give her more variety - it is easy to get into a rut of daily visits. I also do more positive things outside the visits. TP has helped in that.
I think the process of understanding and managing my reactions to depression - indeed and also the whole situation - has strengthened me in many ways.
Hi Bruce,
This is what I`m trying to aim for.
Like you, if I feel depressed, I know the cause of my depression. Whatever I take, the cause will still be there, as long as my husband has Alzheimers. If I take any medication, it will mask the cause but not remove it.
In no way am I being critical of those who are helped by medication or counselling. We all have to find what`s best for us. For now I`m coping. Who knows what the future will bring.
With love
This is what I`m trying to aim for.
Like you, if I feel depressed, I know the cause of my depression. Whatever I take, the cause will still be there, as long as my husband has Alzheimers. If I take any medication, it will mask the cause but not remove it.
In no way am I being critical of those who are helped by medication or counselling. We all have to find what`s best for us. For now I`m coping. Who knows what the future will bring.
With love
Deborah Blythe said:
Deborah, what a lovely post. So full of insight.
I too was referred to a self-help counsellor two years ago. I only got three sessions. In the first I talked about my situation, and why I was depressed. I was then sent away to think about how I could make my life better, and the next session was discussing these ways, with further suggestions from the counsellor.
Then I had a month's gap when I was to put some of the suggestions into practice. The third session was to report progress.
I found this very helpful, because it was putting the onus on me to improve my life. Bruce and Sylvia, I have great respect for you for having the strength to do that for yourselves. I couldn't. I was so low, I had no impetus to go out and talk to people. The help I had was just enough to get me out of the downward spiral, and make me feel positive again.
I think we all have to find our own solutions, whether that be medication, counselling, or self-help. The important thing is that we continue to take the steps forward, however many times we are knocked back.
At least on TP we know we are not alone.
Love,
I gave in a few weeks back and convince myself that I needed prozac to lift my moods all I felt was zonked out . then I keep thinking I know why I am depressed how is a tablet going to take it all away , so that was it I stop them Counseling is just talking , talking to someone going over the same thing and bring up those feeling , but not telling you how to manage those feeling emotion , So am going to go to something called The developing skills for managing low Mood and depression, which really means Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy... to identify the thinking that is causing the feelings / behaviors and to learn how to replace this thinking with thoughts that lead to more desirable reactions.
I done this cognitive therapy 5 years ago , but when I get over stress I forget the skill I learn , so when the course was offered to me the other day I jump at it , I am now jumping and asking for all the courses going I am going on a first add course on the 22nd.
I need something to simulate my mind while I am caring for my mother. I don’t want to look back in 10 years time , while technology more on and I am left behind in the job market , even working for elderly you need an NVQ , Life seem one balancing act
am going to go to something called The developing skills for managing low Mood and depression, which really means Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy... to identify the thinking that is causing the feelings / behaviors and to learn how to replace this thinking with thoughts that lead to more desirable reactions. I done this cognitive therapy 5 years ago , but when I get over stress I forget the skill I learn , so when the course was offered to me the other day I jump at it , I am now jumping and asking for all the courses going I am going on a first add course on the 22nd.
I need something to simulate my mind while I am caring for my mother. I don’t want to look back in 10 years time , while technology more on and I am left behind in the job market , even working for elderly you need an NVQ , Life seem one balancing act
Dear Margarita, you deserve to be well.
You keep an open mind and get out and try all the different options that come your way.
Not only do we need to know them, but we need the discipline to practice them. This is where I fall down.
I wish you all the best for all your courses and hope you keep TP posted with all your snippets of valuable information.
With love
You keep an open mind and get out and try all the different options that come your way.
Not only do we need to know them, but we need the discipline to practice them. This is where I fall down.
I wish you all the best for all your courses and hope you keep TP posted with all your snippets of valuable information.
With love
Personally I find, despite the recent absence of my Gall bladder, a couple of large whiskeys and some wine certainly helps me get through the evenings!
J
janishere
Guest
AntiDepressants Combined with Cognitive Behaviour Therapy Might Be The Answer
Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (which helps you to approach and deal with your problems in a rational way) is a helpful psychological tool. However, it is not appropriate for use by a person suffering from serious depressive illness for the very commonsense reason that he or she will not have sufficient motivation to use it (as it does require quite a lot of self-discipline, and involves completion of challenging daily tasks and goals set by the therapist which a depressed person might find too difficult). So psychiatrists usually prescribe an antidepressant for the person to take for a month or so and will need to be convinced that there is an improvement in mood before starting he or she on cognitive behaviour therapy. Usually the person will continue to be prescribed the anti-depressant while doing the therapy. So really it is a combination of drug therapy and CBT which often helps the depressed see a way forward in their lives.
CBT is a very good thing but sadly there are often long waits on the NHS for this therapy even for War Veterans, sometimes as long as years. When I was at the Roehampton Priory having CBT therapy a couple of years ago, the therapists recommended two books, both of which I found very helpful and still use today. The first is a paperback which cost me only £7.99 "Overcoming Depression - A Self-Help Guide Using Cognitive Behavioural Techniques" by Paul Gilbert, Professor of Clinical Psychology at the University of Derby, published by Constable & Robinson Ltd of London (2000 though there may be a later edition available now). It is a wonderful book for dipping in and out of at difficult times.
The other book is a more technical american publication but very worthwhile. It is called "Mind Over Mood - Change How You Feel by Changing the Way You Think" by Dennis Greenberger and Christine A. Padesky, published by The Guilford Press (again there may be a more recent edition - mine is 1995).
A last word, I do find that CBT helps me to deal with difficult situations more effectively.
Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (which helps you to approach and deal with your problems in a rational way) is a helpful psychological tool. However, it is not appropriate for use by a person suffering from serious depressive illness for the very commonsense reason that he or she will not have sufficient motivation to use it (as it does require quite a lot of self-discipline, and involves completion of challenging daily tasks and goals set by the therapist which a depressed person might find too difficult). So psychiatrists usually prescribe an antidepressant for the person to take for a month or so and will need to be convinced that there is an improvement in mood before starting he or she on cognitive behaviour therapy. Usually the person will continue to be prescribed the anti-depressant while doing the therapy. So really it is a combination of drug therapy and CBT which often helps the depressed see a way forward in their lives.
CBT is a very good thing but sadly there are often long waits on the NHS for this therapy even for War Veterans, sometimes as long as years. When I was at the Roehampton Priory having CBT therapy a couple of years ago, the therapists recommended two books, both of which I found very helpful and still use today. The first is a paperback which cost me only £7.99 "Overcoming Depression - A Self-Help Guide Using Cognitive Behavioural Techniques" by Paul Gilbert, Professor of Clinical Psychology at the University of Derby, published by Constable & Robinson Ltd of London (2000 though there may be a later edition available now). It is a wonderful book for dipping in and out of at difficult times.
The other book is a more technical american publication but very worthwhile. It is called "Mind Over Mood - Change How You Feel by Changing the Way You Think" by Dennis Greenberger and Christine A. Padesky, published by The Guilford Press (again there may be a more recent edition - mine is 1995).
A last word, I do find that CBT helps me to deal with difficult situations more effectively.
anti-depressabts
I have been reading these posts with interest as I have just started back on the pills. I find myself crying at everything. It is not the thought of the present but the future. My mother is in denial so talking about anything is difficult. She denied sleeping in the chair this afternoon, refuses to help with expenses yet bought herself a gaudy broach in the mardet this morning. It her money so how to say no? Also, before, she would not have looked at it. Living in Spain I feel isolated because there is help available but in spanish. There is no problem so why do we need it? I am soon to go to UK for a weekend to see my children and a hospital appointment. (I am disabled myself) and I shall be leaving Mum in the care of my husband who is marvellous. He is my carer, but she has spells of mistrusting him. I feel I need whatever help I acan get, hence back on the pills.
I have been reading these posts with interest as I have just started back on the pills. I find myself crying at everything. It is not the thought of the present but the future. My mother is in denial so talking about anything is difficult. She denied sleeping in the chair this afternoon, refuses to help with expenses yet bought herself a gaudy broach in the mardet this morning. It her money so how to say no? Also, before, she would not have looked at it. Living in Spain I feel isolated because there is help available but in spanish. There is no problem so why do we need it? I am soon to go to UK for a weekend to see my children and a hospital appointment. (I am disabled myself) and I shall be leaving Mum in the care of my husband who is marvellous. He is my carer, but she has spells of mistrusting him. I feel I need whatever help I acan get, hence back on the pills.
I do feel for you , I did not realize as I did not look back when I posted in the thread about switching of that you had posted the question , hope your husband is supporting you and is understanding towards your mother , if it help gets you over this stressful time with the depression tablets go with them . do you have a good net work of friends in Spain that can give you the emotional support?
Where was your mother diagnosed with AZ in England or Spain ?
Just wonder as you said in another thread
How do you mean weapon ? if you don't mind me asking .
Where was your mother diagnosed with AZ in England or Spain ?
Just wonder as you said in another thread
How do you mean weapon ? if you don't mind me asking .
