Anti-Depressants for Carers?

[Margarita]

PS

I`ve just felt drained and lethargic.

Doctor can’t help only give you medication, what you need to do is get in contact with you social worker, , get them to refer you to carer groups . I am going to a course that is about self –management of long term Health Conditions. Looking after you.

What you say drained and lethargic . I have a realy good book called A handbook self - managment of long -term heath Conditions for people with Chronic Disease ,

Lots of tips on
Fatigue .

So they talk about Stress

Shortness of breath
Pain
Anger
Depression
Frustration
Sleep problem .

This is boring, but true Not being active , poor diet, weight, problem, Emotions, Not enough Sleep

Back to stress and around the circle, you go again shortness o breath pain Anger Depression Ect .

You got to have an Action Plan for yourself (one Tip )

This week I will………….walk on my own for 30 min.

How Much………….3 times a week

When ………….Mon wed fir

How certain ( 1 out of 10……………… 5.


If you don’t active don’t worry try again, what your feeling is normal is its all part of caring

 

[Nell]

Hi Sylvia,

Things that have worked for me include:

antidepressant medication - often takes a while to find the right one and the right dosage

exercise, fresh air, sunshine (trite but true!)

one on one therapy - I prefer a psychiatrist but other counsellors can be very good. Just make sure you find one that "suits" you - don't persist with anyone with whom you feel no real connection

fresh fruit and vegetables, good diet all round (again - trite but true)

special "treats" for me - depending on how I feel and how much I can afford! Massages are my favourite - but have to have some money in the bank first! Also wallow in the tub; good quality chocolate (have to keep amount down as I'd gladly eat a whole block or box by myself!); a good book; a new magazine - each to their own!

time - is a healer - even when everything feels impossible, it is important to remember that nothing lasts forever.

I'm sure there are more things but as someone else said, we each have to find something that works for us.

Hope the days improve for you very soon - in the meantime, be kind to yourself. Nell

 

[Grannie G]

Thanks again everyone.
Even though I`ve always thought TP was wonderful, I`m still amazed how many of you, with your own stressful and heartbreaking lives, have taken the time to try to help me.
Still feeling low today but know it`s up to me.
Margarita, I haven`t heard of SHANTI, but I will certainly look them up. My husband is Indian, you were right.
Karen, I have a really great GP and will certainly go to him, if all else fails.
Nell, I agree about special treats, but, unfortunately, most of mine are fattening and I`m trying to cut down. I`ve gained so much weight from emotional eating and our slower pace of life. I really do have to continue with that particular struggle and I need to stay well.
No, Jennifer, I`m not coming down with anything infectious, just being affected by feelings of isolation and self pity.

Well today, I`m going to try to find support groups in my area. I`ve found Crossroads in Kent, which is within fairly convenient travelling distance. Even if I can`t get there, I will phone them.
I will find out about SHANTI. That looks very hopeful.
I will also look into local ALZ and carers groups.
If anything, it will take my mind off myself.

You really are a special group of people and I can`t thank you enough. Love, Sylvia

 

[mel]

Hi Sylvia
Sorry I haven't replied before.......
I'm back on paroxetine which does seem to help me. it allows me to take a step back and takes the edge off the depressing feelings.......I'm sure its been mentioned before that a herbal remedy is St Johns Wort.......most supermarkets sell that.....
It's so hard coping with this disease......much harder than I had ever imagined but the best thing my GP ever said to me was "you've coped before and you will cope again".......and that is so very true
I think we're all entitled to feel very low at times.......but you're a fighter ,Sylvia and you will get that back....just give yourself time..and be kind to yourself
Take care
love
xx

 

[Grannie G]

Thanks Wendy. I am feeling better today, but still found myself in tears as I was walking to the shops.

So, I`ve ordered a box of wine [for medicinal purposes only, you understand] which I hope will help us both. Considering we`re both non-drinkers, it should have the desired effect! We certainly enjoyed it on holiday.

Margarita, SHANTI is London based only, but thanks for trying. I moght write to them to ask for any suggestions.

I`ve found a local Carers Support Group, and will explore it further.

Meanwhile, love to you all. Sylvia

 

[Skye]

Sylvia, well done! When I was at my worst, I was told that to be able to take the first step to improve the situation is the first step to recovery. And you've certainly taken several steps.

Good luck, I hope it works as well for you as it did for me.

 

[Skye]

PS
My Crossroads lady is here this afternoon, no meeting, so I'm up in my office catching up on wrok/TP. And I've just opened a box of chocolates I got for my birthday, and was trying to save for Christmas. Diet? What diet?

 

[mel]

Skye......there is no way on this earth I could buy choccies now and save them for Christmas .....they'd be gone in a flash!!!!!

 

[Skye]

So are mine!

 

[pashandjas]

for grannie G pashandjas

sorry you are feeling low but if it helps try going into another room and have a good swear i was advised to do this it was hard at first but then quite funny i weaned myself of depressent tablets and go for that plus i try to turn everything into humour it works it is hard. love to you hope you will feel better soon

 

[Grannie G]

Thank you pashandjas, I`m feeling much better today.

I woke this morning feeling much more positive. I thought about all the people on TP who are far further down the line than I am, who took time out to help me even though they have many more physical and emotional demands to cope with than I have.

We still shed a few tears this evening when, after quite a good day, my husband was overcome by a `lapse` which completely took him by surprise, and he just didn`t know what was happening to him. Luckily, it only lasted a couple of hours this time, but it was so upsetting and he was so frightened.

Anyway, it`s up to me to keep strong. I will try to remember to swear when things get too bad. Thank you, Sylvia

 

[mel]

Oh dear.....I'm on anti depressants.....and i go into another room often and have a good swear!!!!!

 

[Cate]

Hummmm, I'm on anti-depressants, see a psychologist every week, psychiatrist every month, GP fortnightly. Very often trot off to another room for a good old swear, and eat chocs like a rabid dog if I can get my hands on them. I would go out for a walk if I could just muster up the courage to get out the front door on my own, oh yes, and it would help if I could also get my increasing thunder thighs into my jeans. I wonder if there are any biscuits left!!!!

 

[alex]

Hiya Granny G

Sorry to hear you were feeling low and i hope your feeling a little better now.

We all need a crutch at some point in our lives and there are lots of different crutches out there, drink, drugs, anti-depressants, food, councellors etc, etc......

Personally, i'm not against anti-depressants, if thats what it takes to get you through.........you will know better than anyone, what its going to take to get you where you need to be.

When Ray died, my world seemed to fall apart, a friend of mine who is a G.P. said i should take anti-depressants to get me through the acute stage, i told him i was not depressed.........i was grieving (there is a huge difference but doctors seem to think its the same thing) but luckily i have not resorted to any crutch yet!

I've been a tea-total all my life.........never even tasted alcohol, but i must admit that over the past 5 months i have been tempted (God....have i been tempted!) to take something to dull the pain a little, but i know thats not the answer.

My fix has been tp.............it got me through a bad time and still does!.............take one measure twice a day........it works wonders.........but i must warn you that it can be addictive!

Hope your feeling better soon.
Love Alex x

 

[Grannie G]

Thank you Alex. I`m feeling better, but very isolated. I am trying to find a group for both of us, but am not having much luck. My husband won`t go anywhere by himself, his confidence is too low, will not hear of a stranger coming in to `baby sit` him, and I`m not prepared to leave him.

Yesterday, I was hanging some washing out and heard a commotion from indoors.
A meter reader had called to read the meters. They are both in the garage, but the gas meter is in a ridiculous spot, high upon the wall, and you need to close the `up and over` door, and switch the light on, in order to see it. The meter reader couldn`t find it, so knocked on. My husband didn`t know where it was, invited her in [it could have been anyone] and was in a flap. That is the type of situation I, and I know, countless others, face several times daily.

Then we were getting ready to go out and he was sitting with his coat on. I wasn`t ready, and had a couple of jobs to do. He got fed up waiting and stormed off by himself.

When he came home, he said he would be moving out tomorrow. He would go to find his real family. And so on and so on and so on.

I have to find a way of not letting it get to me as, today, he has woken up with no recollection of it, said he feels fine, is getting better and, after asking me how old he is, said he can`t believe it, he feels so fit.

Love to all of you, Sylvia x

 

[mel]

Hi Sylvia
i recognise a lot of what you are saying.....if anyone comes to the house it sends mum into a total flap.....if mum wants to go out we have to go out NOW....otherwise there are tantrums and bad temper.....
i think its very hard for a carer to switch emotions on and off!!! At the moment I have problems with mums daily shower.....(she's now doubly incontinent so she needs a daily shower!!) She will fight and struggle with me and I get so cross but when I've dressed her and given her a cuppa she's fine!!!!! trouble is I'm still seething....she's forgotten all about it!!
Mum told me yesterday she's not at all happy with the service she's been given at this place and she'll certainly be reporting me to her family and then I'll be in trouble
she asked me how old she was recently.....i told her 82........she told me I was a liar
love xx

 

[Helena]

Mel

When it comes to the nonsense that pours out of my Mothers mouth I have immense sympathy with you

Quite how you deal with it 24/7 heaven knows

Just 30 minutes near my Mother and I begin to wonder about my own sanity

I will say though that the NOW bit and the agression/fighting bit does disapear only sadly to be replaced by a shambling pitiful wreck but can at least be lead like a child

 

[Skye]

Sylvia, how I relate to your feelings of isolation. I often feel trapped, although I love John dearly. It's the not being able to go out when you feel like it, and the impossibility of having an intelligent conversation. Even the simplest remark is usually answered by 'why?'. You get to the stage when you wish you hadn't spoken at all.

The impatience is another problem. I had to take John to the day surgery unit yesterday, for a bladder examination. We had an appointment for 3 pm and they kept us waiting for two hours. John was going mad. They were all very nice, and he was well looked after when they did take him, but they should realise that AD patients don't like to be kept waiting. (Neither do I for that matter!).

Just keep talking to TP, we're all with you.

 

[mel]

Hazel....how i relate to dementia sufferers not liking to wait.......mum always causes a scene..... i persuaded them to let her have her flu jab at home....they did it while she was still in bed barely awake!!!

Helena.....I do question my own sanity at times....I lost my glasses last week and I've searched high and low....is it me? Or have they gone to the same place as the teeth which were lost months ago At long long last I seem to be getting my priorities right......my family now come first at all times in spite of the tantrums

 

[alex]

Hi Wend

I lost my glasses last week and I've searched high and low....is it me? Or have they gone to the same place as the teeth which were lost months ago

Is that your teeth that was lost or your mums?

Keep smiling
Love Alex x