This might help someone suffering from anger whilst caring for a loved one. I have cared for my 93 year old mum with advanced dementia for 3years in my home. She is very benign and despite being totally unaware of her body, emotions and having severe memory loss, she does know me and is basically no trouble! However 18mnths into my caring for her ( I have no siblings, and my two grown up children live a long way away) I used to go crazy if she had a pooy accident, ranting and raving at her. I hasten to add this was totally and utterly not my usual behavior....I wept bitterly afterwards in my room. When I apologized to her, she didn’t have a clue what I was apologizing for. My daughter suggested I needed help so a wonderful and experienced councilor gave me some time to explain my real but out of character behavior. She immediately said that I was suffering grief and pre bereavement. I’ve lost my mum, but still have to deal with the body. I love my mum deeply, she has been a perfect mum and this behavior left me feeling so guilty. I’m glad to say that since the “ diagnosis “ I am loads better. I still get really mad about the screamingly endless grind of being a soul carer 24/7 but never at mum just at the disease ......
It's the same with dad, he is such a kind soul and a gentleman, he is generous, good humoured and quiet funny at times but he still drives me mad and sometimes I respond a little bit blunter than I should when he has asked me the same thing twenty times in an hour. Then I feel so guilty and ashamed and mean but he doesn't seem to notice because he will still ask me again.
I feel I am looking after him everyday but he doesn't realise that I never get a day off and it's not his fault that I am bored to tears with the same shops and the same awful TV programmes day after day. It's not his fault that my life has turned into a very boring version of groundhog day that I can't escape from that seems like it will never end.
This is such a cruel and evil illness. I hate it.