An observation

[Orsonkartt]

1st July 2024

I could be wrong but Until very-very recently I swear I understood everything she was thinking. Maybe not the actual specifics but certainly the spirit.

There is some kind of bond that develops over twenty-plus years of being together where words arnt always required.

It’s almost like saying things out loud is some kind of comforting luxury , a check on reality but the underlying structure is always there, existing in a mutual agreement of silence. A known direction of travel in a mixed up shook up world

I no longer have that almost telepathic connection . Somewhere and somehow it has been lost .

Forever.

Today as I finished showering she asked me if she’d gone. I asked who ? “ the woman in charge of all this” she said.

“ no, I’m in charge and you’re in charge, “ was my somewhat sad and desperately feeble and as it turns out futile response.

My head kind of blew a fuse, I think I saw the electrical flash in my brain scrambling to figure out who this confabulation could relate to. I threw a few names out quizzically and the moment passed.

We had supper and watched Wimbledon.

At 7:30 An early night beckoned as usual .- she was somewhat agitated - “where does she sleep ? “ , she wanted to know. “The woman in charge”.

I have no idea of course but I blurted a lie about her husband picking her up which for now satisfies the situation

Some call it love lies. Some call it little white lies. Some say angels cry .

 

[Kevinl]

Never think you go unread, but I can't post through my tears about what you've posted. K

 

[Orsonkartt]

Many thanks for your response.

Sometimes I find that writing stuff down is in someway important

 

[SeaSwallow]

Oh @Orsonkartt that is so sad. Dementia is such a cruel disease, none of us can make things better for you but we do understand how difficult these things can be to bear.
We might not be able to help but we are here to listen.

 

[Coco23]

Dad wanted to go home last night to his wife at his other house. Mum was sat next to him. So I called their phone from my mobile and pretended to be the other wife and tell him to stay where he was as it was late. You get good at lying but I can not do this much longer nor can mum. I'm over it and my patience has gone.

 

[Alisongs]

1st July 2024

I could be wrong but Until very-very recently I swear I understood everything she was thinking. Maybe not the actual specifics but certainly the spirit.

There is some kind of bond that develops over twenty-plus years of being together where words arnt always required.

It’s almost like saying things out loud is some kind of comforting luxury , a check on reality but the underlying structure is always there, existing in a mutual agreement of silence. A known direction of travel in a mixed up shook up world

I no longer have that almost telepathic connection . Somewhere and somehow it has been lost .

Forever.

Today as I finished showering she asked me if she’d gone. I asked who ? “ the woman in charge of all this” she said.

“ no, I’m in charge and you’re in charge, “ was my somewhat sad and desperately feeble and as it turns out futile response.

My head kind of blew a fuse, I think I saw the electrical flash in my brain scrambling to figure out who this confabulation could relate to. I threw a few names out quizzically and the moment passed.

We had supper and watched Wimbledon.

At 7:30 An early night beckoned as usual .- she was somewhat agitated - “where does she sleep ? “ , she wanted to know. “The woman in charge”.

I have no idea of course but I blurted a lie about her husband picking her up which for now satisfies the situation

Some call it love lies. Some call it little white lies. Some say angels cry .

😢

 

[Rishile]

1st July 2024

I could be wrong but Until very-very recently I swear I understood everything she was thinking. Maybe not the actual specifics but certainly the spirit.

There is some kind of bond that develops over twenty-plus years of being together where words arnt always required.

It’s almost like saying things out loud is some kind of comforting luxury , a check on reality but the underlying structure is always there, existing in a mutual agreement of silence. A known direction of travel in a mixed up shook up world

I no longer have that almost telepathic connection . Somewhere and somehow it has been lost .

Forever.

Today as I finished showering she asked me if she’d gone. I asked who ? “ the woman in charge of all this” she said.

“ no, I’m in charge and you’re in charge, “ was my somewhat sad and desperately feeble and as it turns out futile response.

My head kind of blew a fuse, I think I saw the electrical flash in my brain scrambling to figure out who this confabulation could relate to. I threw a few names out quizzically and the moment passed.

We had supper and watched Wimbledon.

At 7:30 An early night beckoned as usual .- she was somewhat agitated - “where does she sleep ? “ , she wanted to know. “The woman in charge”.

I have no idea of course but I blurted a lie about her husband picking her up which for now satisfies the situation

Some call it love lies. Some call it little white lies. Some say angels cry .

I have this situation daily. There is a woman who owns the house. She lives in the downstairs toilet. She tells us when we can have a bath, that we make too much noise and when we can go to bed. I can usually convince OH that we own the house and we make the rules but it is getting more difficult.

 

[Orsonkartt]

I have this situation daily. There is a woman who owns the house. She lives in the downstairs toilet. She tells us when we can have a bath, that we make too much noise and when we can go to bed. I can usually convince OH that we own the house and we make the rules but it is getting more difficult.

Maybe it’s the same woman? ( but in a parallel universe? )

 

[Chizz]

My OH doesn't have another women, but she does see her mum pop in from to time. (Her mum, bless her cotton socks, died nearly 39 years ago!)
I agree @Orsonkartt that dementia totally throws the telepathic bond and our unspoken language and the meaning of looks, we had, but I realised I was with a stranger some years ago. There is no going back.
Reassuringly, my OH does occasionally ask if I'll stay with her.