My siblings and I spent most of the day on Saturday going through my parents' belongings in her home, deciding who would keep what. She recently moved into a care home and we will be selling her home.
We came across a packet of letters that my dad wrote to my mom in the period they were dating, just before they got married. Some of them read like love letters and are very touching to read. We never knew my dad this way. He wasn't open with his feelings this way to us and not to our mother very often in front of us. It made me feel good to know that at one time, he was so loving and romantic to my mom.
Since my mom really doesn't have any memory of any of this, she barely remembers my dad at all and often wonders where he is or asks if he died, but has no memory of this (he's been gone 15 years now)
My husband is horrified that we would read the letters. He feels it is an invasion of their privacy and unfortunately he expressed this opinion in front of my siblings and me. I don't think he understands the value we get from having a bit more insight into what my dad was like back before we were born. His parents are still alive, and thankfully- do not have dementia so he can ask them any questions he wants to.
I feel that if my mother saved the letters all these years, she would be well aware that we would read them at some point in time. Otherwise, why save them?
Thoughts?
We came across a packet of letters that my dad wrote to my mom in the period they were dating, just before they got married. Some of them read like love letters and are very touching to read. We never knew my dad this way. He wasn't open with his feelings this way to us and not to our mother very often in front of us. It made me feel good to know that at one time, he was so loving and romantic to my mom.
Since my mom really doesn't have any memory of any of this, she barely remembers my dad at all and often wonders where he is or asks if he died, but has no memory of this (he's been gone 15 years now)
My husband is horrified that we would read the letters. He feels it is an invasion of their privacy and unfortunately he expressed this opinion in front of my siblings and me. I don't think he understands the value we get from having a bit more insight into what my dad was like back before we were born. His parents are still alive, and thankfully- do not have dementia so he can ask them any questions he wants to.
I feel that if my mother saved the letters all these years, she would be well aware that we would read them at some point in time. Otherwise, why save them?
Thoughts?