No I didn’t see that It’s so hard it helps knowing I can come on here & rant Can I ask have you any family nearby that support you xx
Agreed to see the doctor again.
- Thread starter RM3
- Start date
Hi Bev. How has the rest of your day been? I do get impatient (even though I’m quite a calm person). Since this has progressed somewhat (whatever this is), I am trying to bite my tongue more and make allowances - although I’ve failed a couple of times this weekend. Don’t be too hard on yourself, it’s ok to feel sad about life changing, or for some thoughts to be less than angelic. Even if they are no longer the same person we married, we are still the same person they married and I would have got frustrated at times with him before and I also do now - because I haven’t changed.
This does not mean that I will not always protect him in any way I can, I love him and hope whatever is ahead, we can both still get whatever we can out of life.
I started this weekend with the mission of persuading my husband to stop working. For the first time really, my husband said today that when he goes for his tests, he hopes to get a name for whatever is happening to him. He said that he would like to go to HR and say, this is what I have and I would like to still work, could people be patient with me if I need to keep asking how to do something, or if I make a mistake. It really choked me up. It also let me know what his wishes are, so I am going to try and support this.
I hope you’ve been able to feel some happiness today. Something to make you smile.
I now use the picture @maggie6445, cutting her husband’s vest off for a smile. Sending more hugs x
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I saw more of the sort of struggles he is having today. We were at our daughter’s and my husband was checking her car over before she goes away tomorrow. He shouted me out and showed me under the bonnet. He said I can’t remember what it’s called but that is empty there, so I said is it the coolant (amazed myself). So he said yes that’s it. She needs some coolant. She was heading to the shop then whilst we stayed and babysat. He told her that she would have to know her car registration to buy the coolant. He said they would ask for it (not sure what product he might have been thinking of). X
Yes it's the small things that bring you up short.
Yesterday I did a simple barbecue for OH and I and we sat outside in the garden enjoying the sunshine. OH, who was the gardener, contemplated the plants and then pointed to one and asked "what's that blue one?". Um, that would be a forget-me-not....
Yesterday I did a simple barbecue for OH and I and we sat outside in the garden enjoying the sunshine. OH, who was the gardener, contemplated the plants and then pointed to one and asked "what's that blue one?". Um, that would be a forget-me-not....
@Bevhar , I'm re posting the vest incident for you. Have a good laugh.
The other morning at 5am ish he needed a clothes change after an accident. 15 minutes of asking him to take his vest off and no response . In sheer frustration I spotted scissors on the window sill and I cut the darn vest off him! He just looked at me and asked why I'd done that! ! Grrr
I have a daughter ,son in law and 18 yr old step. grandson . I don't like to ask them to do the care side as sil works night shifts and has a quadraplegic mum. Daughter does have POA but doesn't use it. It's a back up if I ever I'm unable to.
We have all been out together this pm to a local beauty spot. It was v busy. I took the wheelchair for a trial push . I've got to get used to pushing OH. Sil offered but I need to master it😃 I also need L plates ,I think 🤣
The other morning at 5am ish he needed a clothes change after an accident. 15 minutes of asking him to take his vest off and no response . In sheer frustration I spotted scissors on the window sill and I cut the darn vest off him! He just looked at me and asked why I'd done that! ! Grrr
I have a daughter ,son in law and 18 yr old step. grandson . I don't like to ask them to do the care side as sil works night shifts and has a quadraplegic mum. Daughter does have POA but doesn't use it. It's a back up if I ever I'm unable to.
We have all been out together this pm to a local beauty spot. It was v busy. I took the wheelchair for a trial push . I've got to get used to pushing OH. Sil offered but I need to master it😃 I also need L plates ,I think 🤣
Oh the irony @canary. Yes it really is, some things really stand out, even if they are nothing major.
I that sounds like a lovely Sunday in the sun (whilst it’s here ha). X
If you need a laugh ,have you seen the thread ''another funny!! Dementia thing' I've posted ,along with lots of others ,some of the more amusing things our pwd have said and done. There's a lot of 'pages ' so it's a 30' entertainment 😃
@maggie6445. Yes I’ve seen that thread thank you 😊.
I’ve read many pages already (usually late at night when I need something lighter). X
Ahh thanks for getting back to me It’s sad when they have been so practical & now struggle like you said got to get some joy out of life while we can I’m sure if your husband does have to finish working you can get him involved in groups also small jobs in the home I think stress can affect dementia Do your daughters notice the change in their Dad I’m still a bit sad but calmer This forum keeps me sane Hope your having a good evening xx
Not surprised you cut it off Nice you’ve been out all together today That’s good you have family it’s more for moral support than physical isn’t it Do you go to any carers groups I’m looking at going to one to see if I can ask for any tips in the frustrating times I feel so ashamed of myself but unfortunately I’m no saint Glad you gave the wheelchair a run out Hope the week ahead is a good one for you xx
Glad that you have a bit of an escape in the forum - I would have been lost without it these last few weeks.
My daughter’s do notice change but with work only see their dad once a week usually. Most of what they know, is what I choose to share with them (I don’t say too much as I don’t want them worrying too much until we know more). They would like him to finish work (as I did) but I’m glad he said that this afternoon about work. If the diagnosis is what I worry it is, I don’t think he will manage at work for too much longer. I think that if he is talking with them, he/they, will know when it has to end (I hope).
I will definitely be trying to keep my OH active (mind and body). Just so that he gets as much fulfilment as he can, for as long as he is able to anyway. I don’t know what will happen, if it is, with my work. I really need to continue but I don’t know if 4 days a week would be too much. I will have to cross each bridge I suppose as I get to it.
Do you think you may look at going back to the shop? It sounds as though you would like to.
I’m not at that point yet but I can probably liken it to being home when my children were little and the demands on me. It felt quite isolating at times. When I went to work on an evening, it was nice to have some me time and two way adult conversations. I don’t know if it feels like this perhaps? X
Dementia coffee clubs ,dementia games , dementia singing, we do them all as well as me playing bowls.
The dementia things have been my lifeline. Information,shared experience ,support from those who have been there and from those going through it with you! Really am a big fan of them! They wouldn't have been my idea of socialising before but we've made good friends and we go to amateurs musicals , local music events, ABBA Sensation ln April! We go for cafe lunch once a week and one friend started day care with my OH so they see it as another coffee club.
My oh used to go to the men's shed but he can no longer participate and wanted to stop going.
The dementia things have been my lifeline. Information,shared experience ,support from those who have been there and from those going through it with you! Really am a big fan of them! They wouldn't have been my idea of socialising before but we've made good friends and we go to amateurs musicals , local music events, ABBA Sensation ln April! We go for cafe lunch once a week and one friend started day care with my OH so they see it as another coffee club.
My oh used to go to the men's shed but he can no longer participate and wanted to stop going.
That is a full diary @maggie6445 😊.
Bowls is something that I thought of for my husband. He has mentioned fancying having a go a few times in the last few months.
He meets an old work friend every 3 or four months for a walk and a coffee and they had talked about it. I hope if there is anything, that this may happen a bit more while it can. X
