Aggressive Behaviour
Dear Moose
My mum is now resident in an EMI nursing home following hospitalisation to establish the type of drug to calm her psychosis. A former gentle, kind and loving woman had become quite a force to be reckoned with, punching dad to the point of bruising and to a pitch where we feared both for him and her. She once swung for me in a manner which Mike Tyson would have been proud of!
I will not pretend that assessment in hospital was a benign affair and if asked would advise continued visiting despite the medics advice to leave her there for a couple of months - we couldn't and I'm glad we didn't. Your mum isn't aggressive, it's the illness. Your Dad has the dilemma of keeping her at home, at risk to both herself and himself, and you will not be able to rest waiting for the next phone call and awful drama to unfold. If your Dad can bring himself to place mum in a nursing home he'll need all the support he can get, but don't take the first place you see. Take a damned good look around with the help of a good social worker and anyone you can get advice from.
Although Mum is still 'sun downing' we tell her HER mother - died in 1967 - is at home making an apple pie for tea and she accepts this (on the rare occasions she can still speak clearly), a suitable drug has been found after much experimenting - but don't forget you or your Dad are quite entitled to ask what that drug and its effects are - don't be fobbed off!
On a lighter note, in the earlier days she would, if for example I was changing her, ask me where Chesca was. When I asked her if Chesca hadn't been to see her she'd say 'that one, no she hasn't' and we'd both agree that I was a swine!
Thinking of you and your Dad with lots of best wishes
Chesca