advice please

Knitandpurl

Registered User
Aug 9, 2021
775
0
Lincolnshire
actually my d-i-l didnt come but my son and grandson came and it was much more relaxed. we were playing on his tablet and making up houses etc. theyve just left and go home early tomorrow morning.
So pleased you had a better visit, it’s amazing the difference one person’s absence can make to group dynamics.
 

sdmhred

Registered User
Jan 26, 2022
2,158
0
Surrey
You’ve certainly been through it Jennifer. Moving to Canada may do the little lad good….they are a lovely polite culture! Hopefully he will come back to visit as a well mannered teenager!
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
23,477
0
Southampton
You’ve certainly been through it Jennifer. Moving to Canada may do the little lad good….they are a lovely polite culture! Hopefully he will come back to visit as a well mannered teenager!
maybe, can hope so. i think that his parents intense attention to everything he does with the amount of praise [every tiny thing so really doesnt mean anything] puts more pressure on him. they are both teachers who forget that he needs a mum and dad rather than being taught all the time.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
23,477
0
Southampton
im fuming. we were going to help medical students to be able to be better able to speak to those with dementia and their families so medical profession could understand the needs of those involved. the 2 students didnt turn up. speaks volumes of their committment to improve communication. im furious about the students and the university. they said that they expect their students to act professionally as they will need to do in the future. well god help us all if thats the case. nothing will change until their attitudes change from the very first year of medical school. have cancelled the other pair as well. not taking part any more.
 

colpatben

Registered User
Dec 27, 2022
538
0
im fuming. we were going to help medical students to be able to be better able to speak to those with dementia and their families so medical profession could understand the needs of those involved. the 2 students didnt turn up. speaks volumes of their committment to improve communication. im furious about the students and the university. they said that they expect their students to act professionally as they will need to do in the future. well god help us all if thats the case. nothing will change until their attitudes change from the very first year of medical school. have cancelled the other pair as well. not taking part any more.
Dear @jennifer1967 So sorry to read this, as Patsy and I also participate in this scheme.

Our two pairs of students have been exemplary in both confirming and keeping their appointments.

We are in fact due a visit today which was confirmed by our pair just yesterday.

This program in sponsored by our very own AS, so for any of you who may be interested in the programme: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-involved/time-dementia-programme.

Whilst I am saddened to hear that you have cancelled your involvement I hope that others who are involved do not suffer from the same experience as yourself.

I can also empathise with you as we have enough to do every day as a carer, let alone be let down by a pair of seemingly ‘Professionals’.

What did the Medical school co-ordinator say or your Alzheimers Society contact for the programme?

Colin.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
23,477
0
Southampton
Dear @jennifer1967 So sorry to read this, as Patsy and I also participate in this scheme.

Our two pairs of students have been exemplary in both confirming and keeping their appointments.

We are in fact due a visit today which was confirmed by our pair just yesterday.

This program in sponsored by our very own AS, so for any of you who may be interested in the programme: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-involved/time-dementia-programme.

Whilst I am saddened to hear that you have cancelled your involvement I hope that others who are involved do not suffer from the same experience as yourself.

I can also empathise with you as we have enough to do every day as a carer, let alone be let down by a pair of seemingly ‘Professionals’.

What did the Medical school co-ordinator say or your Alzheimers Society contact for the programme?

Colin.
they were both very sorry but i wasted an afternoon waiting. my husband must have built himself up so when i cancelled he went to sleep. he was absolutely exhausted. i just thought we were helping to progress and i havent got time to chase around them and do emails and phone calls just to see where they are. it would have been really good but .................................
 

Eddcorner

Registered User
Aug 27, 2020
1,646
0
no nothing. i was supposed to have another set of 2 but ive cancelled them and wont take any further part in the program
I don't blame you @jennifer1967 and was so disappointed for you both when I read your earlier post :( Doesn't exactly inspire confidence or motivate others to be involved in such a scheme, shame as it has the potential to have a very real transformational impact on this most vulnerable group of people.

Personally we have kept 'offers' of participation in various things at arm's length... I just ask myself or when mum's receptive what would she want... a big no thank you methinks ;) Kudos to you though for trying, I just wouldn't have the patience (again I blame my mum's conditioning haha!).
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
23,477
0
Southampton
I don't blame you @jennifer1967 and was so disappointed for you both when I read your earlier post :( Doesn't exactly inspire confidence or motivate others to be involved in such a scheme, shame as it has the potential to have a very real transformational impact on this most vulnerable group of people.

Personally we have kept 'offers' of participation in various things at arm's length... I just ask myself or when mum's receptive what would she want... a big no thank you methinks ;) Kudos to you though for trying, I just wouldn't have the patience (again I blame my mum's conditioning haha!).
i thought because i complained about it so often that i would put my money where my mouth was and do something to improve it but it just wasted my time yesterday and wore him out. i wouldnt do anything against his wishes but i knew when hed had enough
 

Chris100

Registered User
Nov 19, 2021
183
0
my husband has vascular dementia and is constantly ordering and demanding. hes constantly nagging me to do what he wants. immediately. i need to shorten his jeans so nagged again until i do them. i make sure the house is clean for him and he always has clean clothes. always got what he needs and wants. he explodes when he gets frustrated. tonight he has shouted at me and told me he doesnt want to see me again tonight. i gave him his meds and he was still stroppy. ive left him there. even nagging me about i havent had the jab yet, ive no control over that and his shouting is not going to get it any quicker.
the kids dont see any difference in him. its usually me thats the mad one. he takes the rise out of me and laughs about it. says stupid things then laughs. he can still cook but it doesnt wash things out very well. i have tried to ignore what he says not react but he scares me when he shouts. tonight for the first time in a while, i locked the bathroom door while having a shower. didnt feel safe to leave it unlocked. the other thing he does that i dont know how to handle is that he gropes. i have to go past his chair to go out the front room door and his hands is are outstretched to grab me. we have separate rooms and we dont have a physical relationship as such. we will hug and kiss goodnight but not any further. hes always been short-tempered but this is ongoing every day. i have to jump to commands. he presents like you wouldnt think anything is wrong. it hurts and all i can do is cry which seems to make no difference. we dont have carers and wont as he has capacity to say no. the dementia has exaggerated the temper he already had. any ideas?
That is SO difficult
 

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