Good morning, looking some advice as i am completely lost and confused about my mum. Apologies for the long post.
My mum has recently moved into her house in my garden that she paid to renovate so she lives around 10 foot steps from my backdoor. She lived with myself and partner for 2 years while she sold her house and got her new house renovated. She is my only family and i wanted her close as she got older. She has wanted her own place for sometime so we had all thought she would be very happy to get it. The past year had been very very bad with her moods. About 2 years ago for about 2 weeks she was extremely confused and didn’t know she had a brother. We went to gp, not much help and it got better by itself. On the move day it was chaos. There was lots of tears etc. thought it would take a few days to settle but it didn’t. She has been to gp and is now on antidepressants. Her memory has gotten so bad recently. In the mornings i get phone calls where she is totally disoriented. Other days i get phone calls before i wake with a list of demands that she wants to do. Doesn’t know how to put the heating on etc. she comes over to my house for dinner every night. Sometimes she tells me she doesn’t recognise me. She thinks there are multiple people in my house. She thinks my partner is my dad and we are all employed.
The first thing she does when she gets up in the morning is phone people. Anyone , doesn’t matter who. And doesn’t remember who. Yet there are days when none of this happens and she seems fine. I work full time as does my partner but we are lucky in that we can work from home a couple of days per week so we take turns so the place isn’t empty. I get multiple phone calls a day. If i don’t answer because i am in work She gets more and more distressed and angry. She phones other people to tell them i am a terrible daughter. Her friends have phoned me to tell me they are extremely worried about her behaviour.
I have seen messages on her phone telling people that i have kicked her out of the house and she is now homeless. I have taken all her money and she needs to go to a solicitor. She calls me the c word regularly. She has told me she would like to stab me. She threatens to set the house on fire. She doesn’t remember any of this. When i confront her she usually laughs and says it is a joke. I am accused of being a liar regularly. She loses her purse, her handbag, cash and debit cards daily. I get accused of taking them. She regularly confuses medication and has double dosed. I took the dog out with my partner the other day for 30 mins without telling her. I got 5 missed calls and voicemails. She was angry she wasn’t told. That is when she threatened to burn her house down. When confronted she tells me it was a joke. Yesterday i took the dog out fora run by myself, i told her i was going. I got bombarded with phone calls of her calling me a liar implying i had went with someone else. I need time to myself without harassment.
If i don’t answer my phone she turns up at my back door. We have put a gate up so the puppy she recently adopted then didn’t want so we adopted him, cant get out. She hates the gate and threatens to phone the police cause she can’t open it. It is easy to open. Before we had the gate she would drag herself up a very steep driveway to get to the front door to argue with me.
She likes to be the victim, she will go to a docs app in dirty clothes and no make up. But the next day she will have full make up on and look well.
Took her to the gp and she didn’t fail a memory test but has been referred to a memory clinic which can take up to a year?
One of her friends called me and said she needs to go into a care home but because she put money into renovating my property the council will come to me to pay her care home bills. Which is more stress.
I can’t determine if she is putting alot of this on or if it is genuine. She is putting so much stress on myself and partner. We both have have our own mental health problems. We barely see each other as she is so demanding. Had a massive argument with her last night and was prepared to wash my hands of her unless her behaviour changes. It is back to the same this morning. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks for reading.
My mum has recently moved into her house in my garden that she paid to renovate so she lives around 10 foot steps from my backdoor. She lived with myself and partner for 2 years while she sold her house and got her new house renovated. She is my only family and i wanted her close as she got older. She has wanted her own place for sometime so we had all thought she would be very happy to get it. The past year had been very very bad with her moods. About 2 years ago for about 2 weeks she was extremely confused and didn’t know she had a brother. We went to gp, not much help and it got better by itself. On the move day it was chaos. There was lots of tears etc. thought it would take a few days to settle but it didn’t. She has been to gp and is now on antidepressants. Her memory has gotten so bad recently. In the mornings i get phone calls where she is totally disoriented. Other days i get phone calls before i wake with a list of demands that she wants to do. Doesn’t know how to put the heating on etc. she comes over to my house for dinner every night. Sometimes she tells me she doesn’t recognise me. She thinks there are multiple people in my house. She thinks my partner is my dad and we are all employed.
The first thing she does when she gets up in the morning is phone people. Anyone , doesn’t matter who. And doesn’t remember who. Yet there are days when none of this happens and she seems fine. I work full time as does my partner but we are lucky in that we can work from home a couple of days per week so we take turns so the place isn’t empty. I get multiple phone calls a day. If i don’t answer because i am in work She gets more and more distressed and angry. She phones other people to tell them i am a terrible daughter. Her friends have phoned me to tell me they are extremely worried about her behaviour.
I have seen messages on her phone telling people that i have kicked her out of the house and she is now homeless. I have taken all her money and she needs to go to a solicitor. She calls me the c word regularly. She has told me she would like to stab me. She threatens to set the house on fire. She doesn’t remember any of this. When i confront her she usually laughs and says it is a joke. I am accused of being a liar regularly. She loses her purse, her handbag, cash and debit cards daily. I get accused of taking them. She regularly confuses medication and has double dosed. I took the dog out with my partner the other day for 30 mins without telling her. I got 5 missed calls and voicemails. She was angry she wasn’t told. That is when she threatened to burn her house down. When confronted she tells me it was a joke. Yesterday i took the dog out fora run by myself, i told her i was going. I got bombarded with phone calls of her calling me a liar implying i had went with someone else. I need time to myself without harassment.
If i don’t answer my phone she turns up at my back door. We have put a gate up so the puppy she recently adopted then didn’t want so we adopted him, cant get out. She hates the gate and threatens to phone the police cause she can’t open it. It is easy to open. Before we had the gate she would drag herself up a very steep driveway to get to the front door to argue with me.
She likes to be the victim, she will go to a docs app in dirty clothes and no make up. But the next day she will have full make up on and look well.
Took her to the gp and she didn’t fail a memory test but has been referred to a memory clinic which can take up to a year?
One of her friends called me and said she needs to go into a care home but because she put money into renovating my property the council will come to me to pay her care home bills. Which is more stress.
I can’t determine if she is putting alot of this on or if it is genuine. She is putting so much stress on myself and partner. We both have have our own mental health problems. We barely see each other as she is so demanding. Had a massive argument with her last night and was prepared to wash my hands of her unless her behaviour changes. It is back to the same this morning. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks for reading.
