1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

admiration for you all out there!

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by tuffydawn, Sep 4, 2015.

  1. tuffydawn

    tuffydawn Registered User

    Mar 30, 2015
    123
    I have so much admiration for all you out there i have lived with this for four years and running out of steam how do people cope year after year I have had enough already and know there is a long road ahead but at the moment can not bear the thought of years and years ahead having a bad week
     
  2. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    4,783
    Salford
    Hi Tuffty
    You're not alone there's plenty more of us out here that feel the same way.
    K
     
  3. stanleypj

    stanleypj Registered User

    Dec 8, 2011
    10,659
    North West
    Hi tuffydawn. I'm sure all of us have bad spells and wonder how we will cope in the future. I'm wondering if you have to cope alone, as this can often be particularly draining.

    Sometimes, caring can get easier as you get used to the tasks and as the person we are caring for passes through different phases. We know there is only one end to the story but, as the disease progresses, there can be less taxing times.

    I'm trust you are finding support and advice on TP.

    Perhaps next week will be a little less difficult. I hope so.
     
  4. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    8,007
    Norfolk
    #4 Chuggalug, Sep 4, 2015
    Last edited: Sep 4, 2015
    You'll get used to it, tuffydawn. No, it won't be easy, but you will learn to adapt.

    I currently cherish that my husband has been in excellent care for the last four months. I'm having to prepare my mind to possibly bring him back home due to the cost of that care and us really not being able to afford it. If he comes back home, there's a chance we will at least be warm and fed over the winter! The rest, I'll have to re-learn to take in my stride. If anything, dementia does one of two things to the carer: it either brings us down with an almighty crash, or it makes us extremely strong. I opt to stay strong, as I've had long enough to recuperate.

    Whatever advice you feel you need yourself, just stick to this forum like glue and you'll get loads of support. All the very best to you and your loved one, xx
     
  5. Countryboy

    Countryboy Registered User

    Mar 17, 2005
    1,425
    Male
    Cornwall
    Hi tuffydawn when you say YOU have lived with for four years I am assuming you yourself have had a diagnoses of Dementia
     
  6. stanleypj

    stanleypj Registered User

    Dec 8, 2011
    10,659
    North West
    Thanks for your post Tony. What you suggest is possible but the thread appears in the 'I have a partner with dementia' forum.
     
  7. tuffydawn

    tuffydawn Registered User

    Mar 30, 2015
    123
    hi no my oh is in early middle stages
     
  8. Countryboy

    Countryboy Registered User

    Mar 17, 2005
    1,425
    Male
    Cornwall
    Thanks stanleypj I didn't see that I mentioned it because having a diagnoses of Alzheimer's and frontal-temporal-dementia myself and obviously see dementia through the different eyes than a career
     
  9. stanleypj

    stanleypj Registered User

    Dec 8, 2011
    10,659
    North West
    Of course Tony - perfectly understandable. I rarely look myself and only did so because of your query.
     
  10. 1mindy

    1mindy Registered User

    Jul 21, 2015
    539
    Female
    Shropshire
    "You'll get used to it and learn to adapt " chuggalug says .
    She must be a much better person than me . Having just taken another round of me and the others trying to steal his money and the others meddling and stealing things . (Wish there were some others they may give me some rebite ) .Not sure I want to get used to it or adapt . Hope you can I'm sure it makes for a better life .
     
  11. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    6,968
    Brixham Devon
    Hi

    I remember your previous posts and I know that you were having trouble getting your OH to the GP to get a diagnosis. Has he been back to the GP yet, or did you get a chance to talk with him/her yourself? If your OH does get a diagnosis it could entitle you both to have assessments. This could open up the possibility of daycare/sitters etc. I know it's very difficult to do but it sounds as though you do need some help and time to yourself.

    Sorry that you are having such a bad time.

    Take care

    Lyn T
     
  12. Scarlett123

    Scarlett123 Registered User

    Apr 30, 2013
    3,802
    Essex
    I felt the same way after about 6 months. I hope your week improves sweetie. xxx
     

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