MarySpindleberry
New member
My mother is in very late stage of dementia. She's been bed bound for about a year, cannot speak or comprehend, cannot move herself, is double incontinent, cannot eat but has syringes of juice and complan and fruit smoothy drinks. She's on patch painkillers and liquid antibiotics. After a recent stay in hospital (went in for a hip xray but got an lung infection that kept her in for a week) the GP has written that no more hospital admissions and she's had a DNR in place for a while now.
In all her quality of life is so abysmal I wouldn't allow my pets to suffer it if they were in her position!. It is also heartbreaking and bewildering for my father (senile) to see my mother, his wife of 69 years suffering like this.
The occupational therapist has just called. She said as Mum's "grade 4 pressure sore is not healing she now needs Roller Cushions to position her on alternating sides so the ulcer isn’t touching any surface for parts of the day".
She said this means we need an extra carer coming to help the live-in turn Mum at 7.30am and 10pm as the length between re positioning would otherwise be too long with Roller cushions.
At the moment as well as the live-in housekeeper (who isn't qualified to change or clean mum), Mum has two carers who visit at 9am, 11.30am, 2pm and 6.30pm to feed, change and wash her. She has an NHS motion bed (forgotten it's proper name) and has two district nurses who dress my mother's bed sore daily.
The live-in housekeeper's job is to housekeep and prepare meals for my 94 year old father and to keep him from trying to "help" my mother. She does help feed my mother with drinks.
My question is that the Occupational Therapist has asked that we get a carer for 7am and 10am to move my mother with the live-in helping. But the live-in's hours start at 9am and she finishes at 9pm so we would need another 2 carers and unfortunately the OT has given no advice or info on where we might find or fund these extras that would only be needed for, at most 10minutes each visit to move my mother slightly.
It was nigh on impossible to find the carers we currently have and funding them all is currently over £12,000 pcm so at this rate it's a struggle to pay for "normal" household bills, food for my father who needs his money to pay for hopefully many more years for him not to be left in the lurch when he needs more care.
So far I've phoned goodness knows how many carers from a list the Adult SS gave me - none of whom can help so what now?
I'm overwhelmed with it all and can't face phoning any more to just to hear rejection.
What happens if I simply can't find carers because there are none? Is there any other methods the Occupational Therapist can use to help my mother's bed sore. It won't heal - the GP has already said her body is too frail to mend any infections now.
We thought we were at the stage of getting the end of life hospice carer in last week but Mum perked up slightly so the lady won't be moving in just yet. I wish she was.
Any any any advice would be so comforting to hear in this ghastly ghastly cruel mess.
Thank you.
In all her quality of life is so abysmal I wouldn't allow my pets to suffer it if they were in her position!. It is also heartbreaking and bewildering for my father (senile) to see my mother, his wife of 69 years suffering like this.
The occupational therapist has just called. She said as Mum's "grade 4 pressure sore is not healing she now needs Roller Cushions to position her on alternating sides so the ulcer isn’t touching any surface for parts of the day".
She said this means we need an extra carer coming to help the live-in turn Mum at 7.30am and 10pm as the length between re positioning would otherwise be too long with Roller cushions.
At the moment as well as the live-in housekeeper (who isn't qualified to change or clean mum), Mum has two carers who visit at 9am, 11.30am, 2pm and 6.30pm to feed, change and wash her. She has an NHS motion bed (forgotten it's proper name) and has two district nurses who dress my mother's bed sore daily.
The live-in housekeeper's job is to housekeep and prepare meals for my 94 year old father and to keep him from trying to "help" my mother. She does help feed my mother with drinks.
My question is that the Occupational Therapist has asked that we get a carer for 7am and 10am to move my mother with the live-in helping. But the live-in's hours start at 9am and she finishes at 9pm so we would need another 2 carers and unfortunately the OT has given no advice or info on where we might find or fund these extras that would only be needed for, at most 10minutes each visit to move my mother slightly.
It was nigh on impossible to find the carers we currently have and funding them all is currently over £12,000 pcm so at this rate it's a struggle to pay for "normal" household bills, food for my father who needs his money to pay for hopefully many more years for him not to be left in the lurch when he needs more care.
So far I've phoned goodness knows how many carers from a list the Adult SS gave me - none of whom can help so what now?
I'm overwhelmed with it all and can't face phoning any more to just to hear rejection.
What happens if I simply can't find carers because there are none? Is there any other methods the Occupational Therapist can use to help my mother's bed sore. It won't heal - the GP has already said her body is too frail to mend any infections now.
We thought we were at the stage of getting the end of life hospice carer in last week but Mum perked up slightly so the lady won't be moving in just yet. I wish she was.
Any any any advice would be so comforting to hear in this ghastly ghastly cruel mess.
Thank you.
