Thank you so much all of you for your posts, they have picked me up when I was beginning to become quite low with this mess.
Being alone with this is not easy. I am lucky in the respect that I have some good experience over the years to be able to let this not affect me so much as it could do, but with that said it has got to me and I have had some dark moments of late, in how I now cope with this illness which has turned my mum who I love very much into someone I don’t know anymore.
I don’t know about my brothers motives, and frankly I don’t have the time to chase him on that. But equally he could come here while I keep an eye on mum, and talk to me -which he has chosen not to do. I wash my hands of that responsibility now, but that is through his own volition.
At the moment I can’t read other threads on this forum, and it’s not because I am being selfish, I just can’t bare to read other stories that make my own anxieties even worse than they are already.
I am at my wits end with it all, and believe it or not the SS said this was down as ‘urgent’, which has been confirmed today. If this is the sense of ‘urgency’ that we now face from the state I can only say God help us all who care and we too move towards old age, with the uncertainty that brings. To coin a phrase ‘old age does not come cheap’ and by that I mean the ailments and illnesses older people are subject to, some of which need more than just simply the rhetoric that is continually bounded around. As much as I say I would leave mum here to reach crisis, I couldn’t do that, its not in my nature. Besides as a registered healthcare practitioner I am in a very difficult position -I have to obey the law, even when it comes to caring for my own. In that sense I could not deny that I too have a ‘duty of care’.
I have decided that the best course of action I can take is to calm myself, gather my thoughts and write to both our MP and the Minister for Social Care, and highlight what ‘urgent’ now means by the state, and invite their ideas as to what they think ‘urgent’ means. To channel this negative energy into a positive action. The only way of winning this is to be continually persistent, unfortunately for the Minister I will be.