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A lifelong friend and me

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,647
North West
I have a plan for today (which does not include the tumble dryer -need to break the addiction)
  1. Tidy and clean kitchen
  2. Coffee
  3. Iron work shirts (erm maybe not)
  4. Coffee
  5. Reading (work stuff)
  6. Coffee
  7. Visit mum and take her out for cake (dependent on whether her shoes are missing) -more coffee
  8. Return home and start the task of sorting and decluttering -small bedroom first
  9. Chill as work tomorrow
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,660
I seem to now have an addiction to the tumble dryer :rolleyes:

Visited the CH and spoke with the nurse, they are having problems getting mums new GP to review her donepezil and have sent 7 faxes with no response. The CPN can't access mums file because her old memory clinic haven't forwarded the information and this has been going on for two weeks.

So on Monday I will be introducing myself to mums new GP and calling mums old memory clinic to have a few polite words -or should I say that will be dependant on the response I get.....this is what happens because the system is so fragmented and not joined up -and it really annoys me.....considerably
Maybe just change the GP ( I did for Dad !) just a form to be filled & then it’s a more noticeable protest- voting with your feet so to say!
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,660
I have a plan for today (which does not include the tumble dryer -need to break the addiction)
  1. Tidy and clean kitchen
  2. Coffee
  3. Iron work shirts (erm maybe not)
  4. Coffee
  5. Reading (work stuff)
  6. Coffee
  7. Visit mum and take her out for cake (dependent on whether her shoes are missing) -more coffee
  8. Return home and start the task of sorting and decluttering -small bedroom first
  9. Chill as work tomorrow
Or you could do some tumble drying?;)
 

Sam Luvit

Registered User
Oct 19, 2016
5,901
East Sussex
I’d had three years of living with mum, but going into a strangers house, not knowing how they would react to me was really hard @Palerider

I’d heard of broken heart syndrome, but didn’t know what it was till I heard her describe it.

Hope you are enjoying washing without it hanging around. The machine on site has broken down again and won’t be fixed till at least Wednesday. I’m now feeling your pain :eek:
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,647
North West
I’d had three years of living with mum, but going into a strangers house, not knowing how they would react to me was really hard @Palerider

I’d heard of broken heart syndrome, but didn’t know what it was till I heard her describe it.

Hope you are enjoying washing without it hanging around. The machine on site has broken down again and won’t be fixed till at least Wednesday. I’m now feeling your pain :eek:
Your welcome to pop by and use my tumble dryer ;)

I am thoroughly enjoying washing and drying now -even have all my work clothes ready (for once).

I so feel your pain too @Sam Luvit -its not as if you can make an alternative move on the washing front
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,647
North West
So I visited mum and ditched the plan to take her out, she was so tired she actual;ly didn't want to go. I left her asleep in her chair, having changed her bed as she wouldn't let the staff help in her room. She did say to me that she didn't sleep last night and for mum to have that awareness means she really didn't sleep.

There are other changes and its proving hard for the care staff to help mum sometimes. I had always hoped mums dementia wouldn't take her in this direction, but it seems that it is.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,647
North West
Storm Dennis backlash has just arrived and the skies look angry and the wind is come from nowhere. Its gone from being light and sunny to dark in a flash. Just read the Met office report -thunder storm expected. In this neck of the woods the power still gets cut.....and here we go....
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,236
Storm Dennis wasn't as windy as storm Chiara here, but it certainly rained a lot! We ditched our plans for going to the gym in favour of a cosy afternoon in.
Sorry your mum wasn't up to going out. My mum is always keen to go out but with no car and no where to go to within walking distance I've not taken her out since just after Christmas I'm a bit loathe to try getting on a bus, as her mobility isn't as good as it was, and I know she'll think it's far too cold too.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,647
North West
Storm Dennis wasn't as windy as storm Chiara here, but it certainly rained a lot! We ditched our plans for going to the gym in favour of a cosy afternoon in.
Sorry your mum wasn't up to going out. My mum is always keen to go out but with no car and no where to go to within walking distance I've not taken her out since just after Christmas I'm a bit loathe to try getting on a bus, as her mobility isn't as good as it was, and I know she'll think it's far too cold too.
Well its certainly not looking good here, now hailing as well.

Thanks @Sarasa -same as you we begin to realise that there is not much we can do at this stage and even with a car it wouldn't have helped much. And yes mums mobiloty has certainly got worse as well. Bless her she was so tired she couldn't hold a conversation and she didn't want to move. Will see how she is on Tuesday.

Just battening down the hatches and getting the candles ready.......
 

Sam Luvit

Registered User
Oct 19, 2016
5,901
East Sussex
Why, thank you kind Sir, but it’s the washing machine that’s broken :( With limited space, I only have a weeks worth of clothing ... fortunately I’d done a load the day before it broke .. not going to be pleasant if it not fixed till Thursday :oops:

Dennis is howling outside, Pooch keeps barking at him :D , but he’s still going on.
 

Lynmax

Registered User
Nov 1, 2016
420
You make me feel guilty with your list of things to do, although you have not said if you achieved them all!

I had no plans for today apart from popping to the shops for a few groceries. I did do a load of washing on the spur of the moment, such an exciting life I lead! I spent most of the day working on some crochet, I'm trying to design a pattern for a blanket so lots of experimenting with stitches, undoing them, writing down etc etc.

My weekends are now much more relaxed as we have just started with carers visiting mum for three days ( Sat, Sun and Mon) for two hours at a time to cook lunch and companionship. The first two days went really well although when I phoned her later, she had no collection of anyone having been! It means neither myself or my siblings need to go round unless we want to and gets mum used to having carers as when my sister goes away in the summer, they will be making more visits to cover her.

We have put in room cameras in the lounge and kitchen and it's been an eye opener seeing what mum does - such as going up to bed in the early evening then sitting in the lounge from around 4am! But I have seen her make breakfast which is good as we were not sure if she ate anything unless we were there. I don't look at the cameras very often, I thinks it's too intrusive and to be honest it upsets me but it was useful the other morning when she did not answer my phone call to see that she had been up and was obviously in her bedroom getting dressed.

I need to start planning something to do at the weekends now I have the free time, but sometimes doing nothing is just fine!
 

Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
717
There are other changes and its proving hard for the care staff to help mum sometimes. I had always hoped mums dementia wouldn't take her in this direction, but it seems that it is.
Hi @Palerider, my Mum was always very obliging and courteous to the care staff, my Dad on the other hand in residential care could be quite 'challenging' at times (he had a total personality reversal as pre-dementia he was the most liberal and easy going bloke you could ever wish to meet) - my Mum (who didn't have dementia at that point) found it impossible to accept and I have to admit at times it was difficult to witness. It sounds as though Mum is in the right place, from what you have said the staff have the necessary insight to manage Mum's needs the best they can. It certainly vindicates your decision to move Mum, even though it was a big upheaval at the time.
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,660
Well its certainly not looking good here, now hailing as well.

Thanks @Sarasa -same as you we begin to realise that there is not much we can do at this stage and even with a car it wouldn't have helped much. And yes mums mobiloty has certainly got worse as well. Bless her she was so tired she couldn't hold a conversation and she didn't want to move. Will see how she is on Tuesday.

Just battening down the hatches and getting the candles ready.......
Hope fully you didn’t need the candles!
It’s a rollercoaster of emotions, with visiting a PWD it’s a “lucky dip” experience
Good luck with the house hunting!
x
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,647
North West
Why, thank you kind Sir, but it’s the washing machine that’s broken :( With limited space, I only have a weeks worth of clothing ... fortunately I’d done a load the day before it broke .. not going to be pleasant if it not fixed till Thursday :oops:

Dennis is howling outside, Pooch keeps barking at him :D , but he’s still going on.
mmm I think black bin bags have their uses -abandoned washing, good at hiding the atrocity,

Storm Dennis didn't result in a power cut but did lash down hail and rain for a while and brought a strong wind. Driving to work yesterday down the counties meant drving through a few deep road ponds
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,647
North West
Hope fully you didn’t need the candles!
It’s a rollercoaster of emotions, with visiting a PWD it’s a “lucky dip” experience
Good luck with the house hunting!
x
Hmmm its like watching someone slowly drift away, they come back but not as close and then drift again further out.....

The GP is supposed to be visiting mum today to assess her leg swelling so trying to be there to catch them if I can
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,647
North West
Hi @Palerider, my Mum was always very obliging and courteous to the care staff, my Dad on the other hand in residential care could be quite 'challenging' at times (he had a total personality reversal as pre-dementia he was the most liberal and easy going bloke you could ever wish to meet) - my Mum (who didn't have dementia at that point) found it impossible to accept and I have to admit at times it was difficult to witness. It sounds as though Mum is in the right place, from what you have said the staff have the necessary insight to manage Mum's needs the best they can. It certainly vindicates your decision to move Mum, even though it was a big upheaval at the time.
Yes she had to be moved, the staff in the previous CH didn't have a clue -they tried to make a pwd conform to their local way of doing things, which of course would never work in a million years and only leads to inappropriate care. I wasn't happy with a number of things in that place or some issues that arose.

Mum is definately in the right place now, its hard to see her resisting help at times but the staff are relaxed and wait for the opportunity to intervene so that mum doesn't get too agitated. Her wandering at night is her main problem really and also personal hygiene which seems to affect so many pwd. Where things do get difficult I will help and can usually get mum to do what is needed for her own wellbeing, but of course I can't be there all the time.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,647
North West
You make me feel guilty with your list of things to do, although you have not said if you achieved them all!

I had no plans for today apart from popping to the shops for a few groceries. I did do a load of washing on the spur of the moment, such an exciting life I lead! I spent most of the day working on some crochet, I'm trying to design a pattern for a blanket so lots of experimenting with stitches, undoing them, writing down etc etc.

My weekends are now much more relaxed as we have just started with carers visiting mum for three days ( Sat, Sun and Mon) for two hours at a time to cook lunch and companionship. The first two days went really well although when I phoned her later, she had no collection of anyone having been! It means neither myself or my siblings need to go round unless we want to and gets mum used to having carers as when my sister goes away in the summer, they will be making more visits to cover her.

We have put in room cameras in the lounge and kitchen and it's been an eye opener seeing what mum does - such as going up to bed in the early evening then sitting in the lounge from around 4am! But I have seen her make breakfast which is good as we were not sure if she ate anything unless we were there. I don't look at the cameras very often, I thinks it's too intrusive and to be honest it upsets me but it was useful the other morning when she did not answer my phone call to see that she had been up and was obviously in her bedroom getting dressed.

I need to start planning something to do at the weekends now I have the free time, but sometimes doing nothing is just fine!
The cameras are useful, I had one in the kitchen so that I could monitor activity through the day, it worked well for a while until the wandering started. All the recordings are stored and I am curious to see if I piece them together if the changes in mum over time are obvious -it certainly felt that as the weeks and months went by her behaviours were changing. I'm still finding odd things wrapped in plastic bags, tucked away even now.

Sounds like your mum is starting to wander at night round the house. Mum was convinced at midnight that it was morning, so I left her to it and she would find her way to bed eventually or sleep in the chair. The heating was always on in the end to make sure she was warm, whatever she got up to. She would frequently wander into my room just to check I was still there and ask me if I would be 'home tomorrow' -this was one of the signs that her anxiety was beginning to become a problem for her about being alone.

The laundry is now much improved with the dryer especially in this weather. And no I didn't achieve all the things on my list :)
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,647
North West
Been sorting a few things out this morning with the professionals (oh yes). Just off the phone with mums old memory clinic who tried intially to pass the buck, but they didn't get that far. They are sorting out the transfer of mums file to mums new MHT and CPN today.

Spoke with mums new GP who is vsisitng mum today in the CH and directly told him (politely) that I was dissapointed in the surgeries response after several attempts by the CH to get him to review mum -I have clarifed my expectation of the GP and I think that message has been duly received and digested :mad:

I will be dropping by later to see the outome of his visit